steve11694

Hope you are feeling better today. I went through the same crap you are in now. I used to try going to movies to take my mind off of aw. I didn't stay at theatre til the end of a single movie. A tremendous anxiety and hole in my heart was telling me to get back home hoping to find the same person I knew before the drinking started. Those days I couldn't focus on anything except finding the person I used to know.

We had a family cell phone plan I we helped each other checking on messages before her drinking began. A high % of messages from males and females themed around drinking, being drunk, or having taken someones car keys to prevent them from driving. I assume those people were also messed up by alcohol. It is an entire sub-culture much akin to the heroin addicts, coke addicts, meth, etc etc. They tend to find each other and band together, the common denominator being the substance.

Additionally, being with other addicts serves to validate their own addiction and help denial. Definitely alanon is a good place to start for you and also your kids.

flwrchld

The closest Alanon group is 1 hour away, it would have to be weekends to be able to make them. You are right though posting here makes me feel like I am not so alone. He is at home sleeping off the past nights drunk at "wherever he was at" friends house. He wont tell me much anymore, just bits and pieces of the night, parts that sound like they were actually visiting and being good, all night. He tried to tell me that his stomach was upset and he is going through withdrawls from my attention. Like all this is my fault. He isn't home, nor can I barely stomach to touch him when he has been drinking. He is trying to make himself look so committed to us. The only one he is fooling is himself.