Where are you, Richard, why can't I find you?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Lake Luzerne
Posts: 1,786
As much courage as it takes, this looks alot like th bottom to me. Maybe it's time to know the way this will go once and for all. If this is where he needs to be for any possibility of change, it has to be real. The bottom is everything it's cracked up to be and that's whey we go to such lengths to avoid it. I think you stay away because you know ther is something going on right now that has to happen no matter what the outcome. When and if the time comes to go and kick his door down, that's OK too. There are no absolutes in any of this. I just think sometimes we fel the gently hand of God on our chest as if to say, now it is for him to decide, we can not manipulate anothers persons free will and that's a hard thing to learn. The truth is the same now as it was on day one. What happens will be between him and God. You can pray. Through prayer and meditation on this matter, you will find clarity.
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
Hope everyone is enjoying their holiday so far. Last night, we spent the evening with my sister's family. She made three kinds of home-made soup, some freshed-baked bread, a salad, and lots of Christmas cookies.
After dinner, we had a gag gift exchange. I got a container of Valentine's cookies, baked freshly on Valentine's day but lost in my nephew's room until he cleaned it yesterday. I plan on saving them for next year's gag gift exchange. They should be really nasty by then, LOL.
This morning, my daughter, our four pups, and I opened our gifts then had hot chocolate and hot, toasted bagels in front of the fireplace. We're heading off to my brother's house in about 30 minutes for dinner and dessert.
I called Richard and his phone is still turned off, but I left a message anyway. I told him I loved him and wished him a Merry Christmas. Don't think he'll check his messages if he's not even bothering to answer his phone, but it made me feel better to do so.
I thought about him a few times last night and this morning, but mostly I've been able to enjoy the holiday. It really does work to let go and let God and forge ahead in life. I hope the same holds true for every who's struggling to live with an addicted loved one this holiday season.
I want to thank everyone for being here for me today and every day. Without all your love and support, I'd probably be sitting around fretting about the things that didn't materialize this year in my relationship and my life instead of letting go, letting God, and appreciating all the good things that life has to offer.
Merry Christmas to one and all.
After dinner, we had a gag gift exchange. I got a container of Valentine's cookies, baked freshly on Valentine's day but lost in my nephew's room until he cleaned it yesterday. I plan on saving them for next year's gag gift exchange. They should be really nasty by then, LOL.
This morning, my daughter, our four pups, and I opened our gifts then had hot chocolate and hot, toasted bagels in front of the fireplace. We're heading off to my brother's house in about 30 minutes for dinner and dessert.
I called Richard and his phone is still turned off, but I left a message anyway. I told him I loved him and wished him a Merry Christmas. Don't think he'll check his messages if he's not even bothering to answer his phone, but it made me feel better to do so.
I thought about him a few times last night and this morning, but mostly I've been able to enjoy the holiday. It really does work to let go and let God and forge ahead in life. I hope the same holds true for every who's struggling to live with an addicted loved one this holiday season.
I want to thank everyone for being here for me today and every day. Without all your love and support, I'd probably be sitting around fretting about the things that didn't materialize this year in my relationship and my life instead of letting go, letting God, and appreciating all the good things that life has to offer.
Merry Christmas to one and all.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stevens Point, WI
Posts: 74
The summer before last, we separated, and mine got his own apartment, stopped answering the door, etc. I was 6 mo pregnant and freaking. I hadn't heard from him in almost three weeks. I asked the guys from AA to go over there and see what they could do. For some reason, he let them in. He went into treatment. (all is still not well) But I did that for me more than him. I needed to know if he was dead or alive. Turns out he was living in a room full of bottles and beer cans, and very depressed. I dont know if the consenus would be that I should have left him alone. But he was feeling very alone anyway. He had let it get so bad that he didn't feel he was worth asking for help. I was very grateful to the AA guys. Lori
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
Still no word from Richard. The last time I heard from him was December 9th. Prior to that, he called several times a week. Not knowing what's happening or the reason why he stopped all contact is harder than knowing the truth, as my imagination tends to run rampant.
I'm doing my best to keep myself busy and pamper myself. My daughter helped me drop my car off at the repair shop and we went into town for lunch and some shopping while we waited for the work to be completed. We browsed our favorite bookstore, stopped in on my favorite import store and bought a couple of items for 50% off, then had a buffet-style lunch. I really enjoyed our girl's day out.
I'll finally get some computer time (my daughter has been hogging the computer as of late) since she bought three books today and I gave her four new books for Christmas, so she'll have her nose in her books for a few days.
Tomorrow I go back to work. That should help occupy my mind and bring some additional relief.
Hope everyone enjoyed their holidays and post-holiday bargain shopping.
I'm doing my best to keep myself busy and pamper myself. My daughter helped me drop my car off at the repair shop and we went into town for lunch and some shopping while we waited for the work to be completed. We browsed our favorite bookstore, stopped in on my favorite import store and bought a couple of items for 50% off, then had a buffet-style lunch. I really enjoyed our girl's day out.
I'll finally get some computer time (my daughter has been hogging the computer as of late) since she bought three books today and I gave her four new books for Christmas, so she'll have her nose in her books for a few days.
Tomorrow I go back to work. That should help occupy my mind and bring some additional relief.
Hope everyone enjoyed their holidays and post-holiday bargain shopping.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 782
Hi Jill,
I hadn't replied to your post because every time I start reading it again, I get all blubbery. I guess it makes me start envisioning the worst case scenario with mine, and I've been working very hard to not dabble in the emotional side of him right now. I'm keeping my eye on the end...maybe later I can look back. But I did want to tell you that you're in my thoughts, and it sounds like you are handling everything in the best way possible given the situation.
TG
I hadn't replied to your post because every time I start reading it again, I get all blubbery. I guess it makes me start envisioning the worst case scenario with mine, and I've been working very hard to not dabble in the emotional side of him right now. I'm keeping my eye on the end...maybe later I can look back. But I did want to tell you that you're in my thoughts, and it sounds like you are handling everything in the best way possible given the situation.
TG
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