Meetings
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Sask.
Posts: 64
Meetings
Just wondering if anyone has problems speaking in an alanon meeting? I have been going for a year and a half now and still it's hard for me. I live in the city and meetings are large, once in awhile there will be a smaller meeting and it's easier. Also, I have a hard time reaching out, phoning people, and still do not have a sponsor. I have never asked anyone and still can't for some reason. I've been in my shell way to long and it's hard to get out. Fear or trust, I'm not sure, or maybe just used to being by myself.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Summer
I am one of those people that you can't shut up, until you put a podium in front of me or ask me to speak to a large group. I never liked "speaking" when the focus of others was on me.
But at my meetings, I often found that even brief statememnts spoken by others had a profound impact on my recovery. Little things that just clicked with me and helped me understand. So I started with little things and eventually got more comfortable. These people at meetings are friends. They don't care how well I express myself or if I look nervous, they are there to listen and help me, just as I listen and help them.
Now I even volunteer to speak at recovery houses, usually at gatherings that include friends and families of the people in program. And many of the addicts are also codependent and misunderstood thinking that codependents were just the other side of addiction. I was nervous at first, and then I learned to just speak from my heart and to leave lots of time at the end for discussion and questions.
It takes time and is scary at first, but with practice becomes a vital part of our recovery, learning to express our feelings and share the message.
I am one of those people that you can't shut up, until you put a podium in front of me or ask me to speak to a large group. I never liked "speaking" when the focus of others was on me.
But at my meetings, I often found that even brief statememnts spoken by others had a profound impact on my recovery. Little things that just clicked with me and helped me understand. So I started with little things and eventually got more comfortable. These people at meetings are friends. They don't care how well I express myself or if I look nervous, they are there to listen and help me, just as I listen and help them.
Now I even volunteer to speak at recovery houses, usually at gatherings that include friends and families of the people in program. And many of the addicts are also codependent and misunderstood thinking that codependents were just the other side of addiction. I was nervous at first, and then I learned to just speak from my heart and to leave lots of time at the end for discussion and questions.
It takes time and is scary at first, but with practice becomes a vital part of our recovery, learning to express our feelings and share the message.
Supply Manager
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
My recovery is something you can't shut me up about. I would get nervous sometimes at meetings but it usually was when I wasn't all that confident about what I was feeling that day. But once I get something...get out of the way.
Being a speaker I stuck to all about me...as it is suppose to be. I don't find it hard to talk about where I was, what happened and where I am now.
Try chairing a meeting, picking the topic (something you love or need to learn) and pick a reading you love. It is easy then. Because you feel it.
Hugs,
JT
Being a speaker I stuck to all about me...as it is suppose to be. I don't find it hard to talk about where I was, what happened and where I am now.
Try chairing a meeting, picking the topic (something you love or need to learn) and pick a reading you love. It is easy then. Because you feel it.
Hugs,
JT
Member
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: California
Posts: 24
One Day at a Time
Hi Summer:
I know that it is difficult for a lot of people to speak in meetings.I have a hard time calling my sponsor sometimes, because, I "don't want to bother anyone". One thing that some people do is just flip through the index in the books to find a page that pertains to the subject being talked about and they read that. Don't worry, remember , we all do things differently and at our own pace.
I do want you to remember that what you share with others becomes easier to bare and it may just save someones sanity. Take your time and absorb all you can.
I have been going to a lot of meetings in other areas than my one in addition to mine and have found a lot of love and peace. If you'd like you can e-mail me and we can "talk" or there's also the chat room where you can talk, but, don't have to do it face-to-face and may find that easier.
Your frien in Al-anon
Monica R:
I know that it is difficult for a lot of people to speak in meetings.I have a hard time calling my sponsor sometimes, because, I "don't want to bother anyone". One thing that some people do is just flip through the index in the books to find a page that pertains to the subject being talked about and they read that. Don't worry, remember , we all do things differently and at our own pace.
I do want you to remember that what you share with others becomes easier to bare and it may just save someones sanity. Take your time and absorb all you can.
I have been going to a lot of meetings in other areas than my one in addition to mine and have found a lot of love and peace. If you'd like you can e-mail me and we can "talk" or there's also the chat room where you can talk, but, don't have to do it face-to-face and may find that easier.
Your frien in Al-anon
Monica R:
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Mt. Clemens, MI
Posts: 26
Summer,
I was like you the only thing was instead of not talking I just didn't bother to go to meeting I was so afraid that I'd have to talk. Once I did go, my first meeting was really good and I was able to really open up, I find it hard not to want to add to the meeting. What you add may help someone else and passing the message along is part of the healing. The time at the meeting is time better spend then when I was trying to control someone/something I had no control over, this is how I feel and it’s how I start my turn more or less at my meeting. It my way of getting my brain started so my thoughts are clearer and I get the tongue block out of the way. Hope this help, keep go to meeting we need ears there too.
I was like you the only thing was instead of not talking I just didn't bother to go to meeting I was so afraid that I'd have to talk. Once I did go, my first meeting was really good and I was able to really open up, I find it hard not to want to add to the meeting. What you add may help someone else and passing the message along is part of the healing. The time at the meeting is time better spend then when I was trying to control someone/something I had no control over, this is how I feel and it’s how I start my turn more or less at my meeting. It my way of getting my brain started so my thoughts are clearer and I get the tongue block out of the way. Hope this help, keep go to meeting we need ears there too.
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