Pick-a-name

Also,like you said, the frontal lobes are affected. Denny I believe this is what happens,too.

Of course, some are sicker than others and may have additional problems but the chemical is certainly responsible for a great deal of the damage;IMHO.

embraced2000

i'm havin a bad day....so forgive me in advance.

i think it is easier to think rationally about their disease when we don't live with them. i cannot begin to imagine living with an active alcoholic as "diseased" as my xah was, and being able to practice the teachings of al-anon. not today, anyway.

i think they should all go live together and just torture the hades outta each other. today, anyway, i feel like that.

jeri

Janitw

I went to an AA meeting last winter and I asked them if alcohol made them lie, cheat and steal from their families and ya know what they told me?

They said no way...we knew what we were doing drunk or not but just didn't care about the consequences....

Imagine that you guys??? They didn't care????? Well alrighty then.. now who doesn't care?? Me.

They know exactly what they do and I am with the camp that won't allow they alcoholic an excuse of "I was drunk" routine. I don't buy it. I never did give my XAH that out. It's no wonder that he left....I wouldn't play his way anymore. I demanded recovery. My bad.

Janit

denny57

Why do they care about the consequences now, then? Or do they still lie, cheat and steal?

parentrecovers

daughter told me earlier in the week:

D-E-N-I-A-L = don't even know i am lying.

Zoey

What were they taught prior to 5 or 6 years old. At that time if they were taught to not lie, steal or cheat then in MHO that is who they are underneath it all.
In AA if they work a good program they love the "rigorous honesty". At least I did. (Some don't work a good program) Always exceptions either way.

I found that AA was living the life I was taught. Then the outside world makes us distrustfull and we try to live as others seem to. So I never fit.
To me our programs are a blessing.

Do you all know what kind of early childhood your A had? We are not supposed to analys, but hard not to.

parent, D-E-N-I-A-L a good one. Thank you!

justagirl

This disscusion has helped me today. thanks

sunwish

I know it's the disease that tells the lies....and I try to seperate myself from it but it is very difficult. When it would not have made a difference to lie or tell the truth and he lies I still hurt.

Leslie1210

Well speaking as a recovering addict and also as a person coming from a family of addicts..including my son, I've been on both sides.
I did things I would never do sober. The thing I remember the most is my need for the drugs outweighed the consequences. It's a little like a non-addict person feels when they are hungry or needing air. Multiply that by 1,000 and it gives you an idea of what an addict feels. The brain and the body need the drug.
Also, the brain does go through chemical changes. Alcohol is a poison.
Even the people who are 'happy drunks' have a bunch of people behind them, that they have hurt.
One thing that has really helped me in detatching from my loved one's who are addicts, is to understand I'm not dealing with the person I knew prior to drugs... I'm dealing with the 'addict' and that changes everything.
If my son is sober we can talk and enjoy each other, but the minute he starts to drink or use, I switch over to seeing an addict and somehow it protects my heart and my decisions.
does that make sense?

Somewhere in this forum there is a thread called 'letter from an addict' and that explains the addict really clearly. Actually I think its at the beginning of this forum.
anyway.. just some thoughts.
Leslie