I wish I had the courage to go to AA.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Alcoholism does not care about age, sex, religion, financial status, color......The program is there to help individuals who have or are having problems with alcohol. I experienced a lot of joy in those rooms. I experienced a lot of acceptance and love. I made friends.
My status was not a part of it at all. No one cared if I was poor, middle class or had money coming out of my ears. They cared about the effects that alcohol had on me and what i was going to do about it.
I am currently not in AA. I have been to many many many meetings. If there comes a time when I feel wobbly and i need more support, i will march my A## down to a meeting and reach out. There is no shame in helping yourself. In the rooms of AA the feeling of guilt, shame etc.... all of those feelings have been felt by all. You will understand if and when you go.
My status was not a part of it at all. No one cared if I was poor, middle class or had money coming out of my ears. They cared about the effects that alcohol had on me and what i was going to do about it.
I am currently not in AA. I have been to many many many meetings. If there comes a time when I feel wobbly and i need more support, i will march my A## down to a meeting and reach out. There is no shame in helping yourself. In the rooms of AA the feeling of guilt, shame etc.... all of those feelings have been felt by all. You will understand if and when you go.
this is what AA is:
Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism.
The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for A.A. membership; we are self-supporting through our own contributions. A.A. is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution; does not wish to engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.
you are not alone. we have been in your shoes. we have found a solution that we can agree on and are willing to help others witht hat solution.
i am guessing that by your nik, you already believe in a power greater than yourself. that is awesome!! now, the fear and shame are internal and coming from yourself. God can give you the courage to walk into the doors of an AA meeting.
fear of the unknown was pretty big for me. i had no clue what life without alcohol would be like, but i knew my existance was gonna be very short if i took another drink, so i got me some courage to walk into my 1st meeting. it was the hardest doors to open to a meeting and they were automoatic doors.
when you get the courage to go, please look for the similarities in the thinking. my thinking was just like the thinking of the carpenters, cops, painters, attorneys, mechanics, and surgeons. my thinkngs just like the millionaires and the poeple living paycheck to paycheck.
The worst fear is the fear of attending the meeting. Once you get there that fear will go.
My motivation for being brave and going was simpler - my life with alcohol was a dark recurring nightmare - nothing in my opinion could be a bad as the way I was living.
There are all different individuals at AA not that it matters we are all there for the same reasons - that is the leveller in my opinon.
Ring the AA Helpline - as has been said someone will more than likely take you to the meeting. You are not alone, you will not stand out, you will not be ignored
My motivation for being brave and going was simpler - my life with alcohol was a dark recurring nightmare - nothing in my opinion could be a bad as the way I was living.
There are all different individuals at AA not that it matters we are all there for the same reasons - that is the leveller in my opinon.
Ring the AA Helpline - as has been said someone will more than likely take you to the meeting. You are not alone, you will not stand out, you will not be ignored
I guess it is the fact if I go I am accepting that I am an alcoholic.
Playing out all the negative scenarios in your head will just keep you from making changes. Fear is all in our head. If you can start to challenge some of those thoughts and just allow for the possibility that you could be wrong, that maybe you're making it scarier than it is, it might help.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: My city of ruins...
Posts: 593
WWG - I did it. Just got back. I put on my big girl pants and marched right on through that open door. Apparently, I've hit the AA jackpot because the meeting is right around the corner, on Sundays at 2pm (manageable with my busy work schedule) and the people there were amazing. It is a closed discussion meeting and many, many people make it their home group. I won't blah, blah, blah all about it but I can tell you that for the first time I feel like this is right for me. I may never be a devout participant, but my ass is going to be at that church EVERY Sunday from now on. There are so many tools available and face-to-face support is right there...and it is free! No more paying therapists to listen to my tales of woe and struggle, these folks want to hear AND speak from experience.
All in all, it was wonderful to say the words out loud. I am an alcoholic. And in that room, I was not ashamed to admit it. As soon as the words left my lips a giant invisible weight left me too. I'm hoping you try it...at least for a few meetings. That is my plan and I'm worth it. So are you. This battle is not won alone ... Trust me, I've tried.
And so begins my AA journey...
All in all, it was wonderful to say the words out loud. I am an alcoholic. And in that room, I was not ashamed to admit it. As soon as the words left my lips a giant invisible weight left me too. I'm hoping you try it...at least for a few meetings. That is my plan and I'm worth it. So are you. This battle is not won alone ... Trust me, I've tried.
And so begins my AA journey...
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,964
I am so scared to go to AA. I guess it is the fact if I go I am accepting that I am an alcoholic. I know I am, but to me going to AA will confirm it. My therapist really thinks it is the best thing for me. I want to get better, but SR and therapy alone are not doing it. I am just so confused and ashamed that I did this to myself. I have a great wife and daughter, and I don't want to lose or ruin their lives.
You can call your local AA central office and maybe arrange to have another AA member to accompany you to the meeting. That might help. Its good to read the AA book's too.
Its natural to be remorseful because of the problems you caused wile drinking. But you have to remember that alcohol can dominate a person, making it very difficult for one to control their thoughts and actions. This loss of control is a classic symptom of addiction.
Make a plan to go to a meeting and tell us how it goes. You can do this.
Shame is a HUGE part of addiction. I know it is for me.
Fear is a factor for most everyone. In it's best form, it helps keep us alive. In it's worst, it keep us from doing the best thing. Form rather rather extensive experience, I've found absolutely nothing to fear at an AA meeting; any AA meeting. You will find nothing but open arms there. It will also help you with the shame. Everyboy there is is the same boat. We find very quickly that we can only help ourselves by helping others.
Your therapist is 100% correct. Go to a local meeting ASAP. You can learn more at Alcoholics Anonymous :.
Fear is a factor for most everyone. In it's best form, it helps keep us alive. In it's worst, it keep us from doing the best thing. Form rather rather extensive experience, I've found absolutely nothing to fear at an AA meeting; any AA meeting. You will find nothing but open arms there. It will also help you with the shame. Everyboy there is is the same boat. We find very quickly that we can only help ourselves by helping others.
Your therapist is 100% correct. Go to a local meeting ASAP. You can learn more at Alcoholics Anonymous :.
I still get anxious but then I was home alone last night and had a major panic attack. So it is relative. It is in the mind I just need to not mind my mind so much. I do like to go early to st up chairs and stay after to put them away. It is something I do very well..
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: OR
Posts: 12
I would say go to a lot of different meetings. I went to my first meeting in March of this year and was very nervous but I picked a large meeting and just listened. No one judged me and everyone was very welcoming and actually excited to have a newcomer in their meeting. By third meeting people were talking to me and welcoming me. I did not "fit in" with the background of the people in this particular meeting but no one judged me. Since then I have found other meetings where I can relate to the background of the people better but I still attend this one from time to time because it is close to my work. Just go to a a lot of different meetings and don't be afraid to travel a bit if it means finding a meeting you like....GO FOR IT!
I think something I really didn't fully understand about AA early in sobriety is that it is a program to help you to live a sober life. A few months into my second year and I have even more respect for the program.
I would not respect any therapist who didn't tell you to address your alcohol problem first before you attempt to tackle other problems.
I use SR, AA and Eckhart Tolle in my life and am so grateful to have these tools.
CaiHong
I would not respect any therapist who didn't tell you to address your alcohol problem first before you attempt to tackle other problems.
I use SR, AA and Eckhart Tolle in my life and am so grateful to have these tools.
CaiHong
if you wait for the courage, you'll never go. you just have to be scared and go. almost everyone is scared for their first meeting. i know i was. no one walks into their first meeting brave and proud and totally prepared. don't wait for courage. walk with God and go.
Man I used to go through the locked door of my treatment -place with my dumb sacked lunch and knew all eyes were on me then realized most the folks in there had walked through that same door. At least I come in the front door now.
I want to go, I wish for some reason there was one before or right after work. I want to go and need to. I just want to go and listen not sure how comfortable I will be with talking the first time. I just feel scared if someone seems me going into the meeting. I also am nut sure what to do, do I just walk in and sit down?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
WWG if someone sees you, they see you. If you know someone there then that means that they are seeking help for the exact same problem. Walk in find the first person that you can and tell them that this is your first meeting. They will take it from there.
There are no signs or advertisement on the outside stating that you are going to AA.
There are no signs or advertisement on the outside stating that you are going to AA.
I want to go, I wish for some reason there was one before or right after work. I want to go and need to. I just want to go and listen not sure how comfortable I will be with talking the first time. I just feel scared if someone seems me going into the meeting. I also am nut sure what to do, do I just walk in and sit down?
Besides that, you can just relax as much as possible, and the meeting, if its a speaker meeting, will look after itself. A discussion meeting is more about sitting in groups of members, and taking turns sharing, or again just listening to others share. A speaker meeting usually has one main speaker, and most others just listen. An open speaker meeting are the easiest to attend for newbies.
As for people seeing you going in, just forget about it. As you move along
in your sobriety, you'll be so satisfied with your progress, you'll not care one way or the other with who sees whatever.
In any case, you can attend meeting after meeting, and no requirement is upon you to share, so just relax. People are friendly, and they will sometimes introduce themselves, but no worries, they are just being friendly and helpful.
I wish you good luck WWG!
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