labbylover01

Im wondering if anyone here drinks? I do drink socially. Im to the point that I feel I do it, so what give me the right to say he souldent. Granted I dont lose myself or my mind and I dont drink my self int a stooper (sp?). I have a few drinks with friends, at a bar-b-q, party...So why do I feel I have no right If I want him to stop? Does anyone understand what Im saying? I feel like a hippocirte (sp?)

reader

I personally don't drink and I don't go places where I know people are. I want so much more for myself. Alcohol is a big black puddle, no matter how careful you are you can slip and get wet. Kerry

JennyK

I do drink. I don't drink around my husband. I will have wine when I am out with the girls or a glass after everyone is in bed at night.

I do not get drunk.

Jenny

CodeMaster

I used to drink... thought it was the thing to do when you go to clubs, but after I visited two raves this year... I clearly realized I get nothing good out of drinking, not even a high or anything, only thing I ever get is I look ugly and tired and I get so tired and all I want to do is go home and sleep and going home is so hard too... So I finally realized, why do I drink, its expensive, it sucks, and it tastes horrible. So I quit drinking, I also dont have any interest clubs anymore... only like raves.

ASpouse

Yes I drink too at Bar B Q's etc. Rarely at home though, not because of AH, but because I like to be relaxing when I drink.

I don't have a problem with drinking, my husband does, although he does not drink now.

I understand what you're saying, just don't know how to answer your question, except that we can't make someone stop drinking who has a problem with it, we can only change how we react to it if we don't like it.

Minx1969

A glass of wine or maybe a cocktail..very infrequently..going to Alanon (and open AA meetings) really turned me off of alcohol..

I don't like how I feel the next day (even if it's one glass of wine)..I am a lightweight and it's ok..

sketscher

I'll be honest. I drink but not to get drunk! I can enjoy one beer just fine. Or a glass of wine. I'm also watching my weight so I have to have control of the empty calories. Not to say I have not had excessive amounts at times. But for me it's more about just consuming ANYTHING in excess. I'd much rather have pizza for instance. But I did used to feel like that around xabf. I felt guilty for even wishing he'd stop drinking when I myself drink. I have to say I am certain it wouldn't matter if I stopped around him. He admitted that even to me that the only reason he liked to see me drink water for example was that "our house" only had room for one idiot But eventually he knew, knows, that I don't have that problem. Mine is food! And that was another vice that I used for a long time to excuse his drinking in my mind. That I felt I could not condem him for having an addiction when i feel that Im addicted to food. But we all only have control of our own issues. Just as he couldn't control my eating I couldn't control his drinking. It's my choice if I use a situation to eat more. Like being around others who eat in excess. It's his choice to drink period!

cwohio

i used to drink socially when we were dating and maybe once in a while when we were married, but really never had much use for it - could be my growing up in an alcoholic household and then marrying an alcoholic that really turned me off to it completely.now that he is gone i really still don't think i will even do it socially - i think the imprint of what it can do and has done is so etched in my mind that i will not ever have the desire to drink.

Cazza

I drink in social settings. I do not have an addiction to alcohol. When I drink it is my choice and I know when to stop, and have no problem stopping. I don't crave alcohol nor do I require it to get through the day and to cope with my life. I never felt like a hypocrite either because I was able to drink and he wasn't. I would feel bad drinking in front of him when he was sober though... not hypocritical, just seemed like teasing to me. He would insist if we were out that I have a drink, that he wanted everyone to go on with their lives normally, so I might have one, but even that felt shameful. I had to remind myself that he works in a bar. But once he started drinking again, I wouldn't see him unless it was at a bar, because he doesn't go anywhere else. I am not going to stop doing something that I enjoy and can do within moderation, just because he can't. We all have our crosses to bear, alcohol isn't one of mine.

Girlfriend

I'm a RAH of 11 years. Drank for 10 years. I can honestly say that I don't want anything to do with alcohol. I hate the smell of it and even at the end before I quit, it wasn't "fun" anymore.

I also have a sensitive stomach and if I went back to drinking (God forbid!), it would destroy my stomach completely.

If I had a spouse or SO that was trying to get sober, I wouldn't drink in front of them. That's like taking Godiva chocolate and wiggling it in front of someone's face that LOVES it. It's just not helpful to the person trying to get sober.

I can go to clubs now and be around those that do drink because I promote rock bands and gig alot of concerts where I live. But, if anything, watching the people getting drunk is even more of a reason why I stay away from it. People are not pretty when drinking and can't handle it

Jewgirl952

Labby,

I'm not an alcoholic, but I was married to one for 10 years who was in recovery (for six years, not a drop). While he was in recovery, going to meetings, sponsoring people, I did not drink and went to his meetings with him. I did this out of support and love for him. I used to smoke cigarettes and still have the urge now and then and find it extremely hard if someone smokes in front of me, so out of respect, support and love, I did not. Now, for some weird reason, maybe getting older or whatever, but I cannot drink at all. I have a very bad reaction to certain alcohols if I even have a couple sips. My 36 year old has the same problem and she says it's any mixed drink with Vodka in it, but the reaction is so bad and so painful that I don't take a chance even with beer or wine now. But drinking is a personal choice and if you're with an alcoholic in recovery that you love and want to support or even with someone who's an alcoholic not yet in recovery, if you're in love with him and not an alcoholic yourself, what's the big deal in not drinking out of respect and support? If he gets into recovery and goes to meetings and you happen to go with him, you won't want to drink anyway. But I can't see the attitude you have where you feel you're depriving yourself of something that's a big deal! I don't see the big deal in drinking. It's fattening, plays with your blood sugar (no matter how little you drink) and it's real bad for you in the summer. The alcohol and the heat don't mix. That's my two cents worth, for whatever it's worth. Plus statistics show that alcohol impairs sexual drive. I just feel that's a way to prove your support in more than words, but actions. How can you tell somebody not to drink if you drink? Like I said, it's your choice, what's more important to you, the drink or him?

susane1408

Used to get rat-faced every weekend as a teenager; got more responsible as I grew up and found that it only took a couple of glasses of wine to get me behaving silly!!
After I met my partner and he relapsed for the first time in our relationship I did a lot of research into alcohol dependence; that, coupled with what I saw happen to my guy has given me an aversion to it. Even watching the ad's on TV makes me shudder inside; drink, for me, is not something I even contemplate having. That's my choice.
You have to decide what's best for you and no-one else can make that choice for you.
I'm on a diet and I adore chocolate; my guy (the alcoholic) won't eat chocolate in front of me because he say's it's not fair to tease me, he still eats it but not in my presence

luvmyfurbabies

My last drunk was on vacation in Virginia Beach in August of 1995. A friend and I used to go there every year. I started dating my "A" in September of 1995. I guess that when we started dating I saw nothing wrong with it since I did it myself. When I saw how much he drank I tapered off drinking. We went to Chincoteague in June of this year and I ordered a Mudslide at dinner. I couldn't even drink it. That was my first drink in over a year. So I guess my answer would be "hardly ever".

JessicaNAJ

I drink about 3 or 4 times a year. Its usually always when I go out to the clubs. When I do go out, I make sure I'm not driving because I know I'm going to get drunk.

Personally (please don't judge) I don't see the point of drinking unless I get good and drunk (not throwing up drunk...just good and drunk). But that is just me.

99% of the time, I have no desire whatsoever to drink.

walkingtheline

I'm an occasional drinker.

I drank at the company Xmas party. Had a margarita one night at a Mexican restaurant. I raised a glass of Bushmills at a wake a few months back. And I've joined in a few wedding toasts over the year.

One drink, occasionally two. If I drink (even one) I do not drive.

FormerDoormat

I'm into food, not alcohol. It's all about the flavor to me, and personally I hate the way alcohol tastes. It's awful. I also hate the way it makes me feel. Being a codie, I tend to be controlling--of others and myself--so I hate the fuzzy headed feeling. I hate losing control over my mind, my mouth, my movements. I hate to struggle over forming a word, completing a thought, or moving about. Alcohol makes me fumble over my tongue, clouds my mind, makes it difficult to walk in the direction I want to go.

So because of these reasons, I rarely ever drink. Haven't had a drink in five years because I didn't have the heart to tell my xAB that he could not drink in my home around my daughter and then do so myself.

Years ago, I did find one drink that I actually liked. It's called a Kahula hummer. It contained vanilla ice cream, Kahula, coffee, and chocolate syrup, and it was topped with whipped cream. Couldn't taste the alcohol in it at all.

Live

Living with an abusive A made me abhor all alcohol and I did not want to be around anyone who drank anything. I would not allow any alcohol on my property.
With time, I realize that people can drink socially, and not all drinking is alcoholic.
I now, very occasionally indulge in sipping a fine scotch, or a glass or two of wine of an evening to relax or best, a fine wine with a fine meal out. But it isn't something I think about or crave and would not think to go out of my way to stop at a liquor store.
Right now, there is beer in the fridge for hubby. I don't like beer at all. And there is a bottle of fairly good wine on the sideboard which cork won't come out until there is an occasion for it.
live

minnie

I drink. Sometimes, I drink too much.

However, I am not an alcoholic. It does not make my life unmanageable. I have not lost family, friends, jobs, money or driving licence due to drink. My life does not revolve around fitting in the next drink.

Why should I feel bad about enjoying a glass or two of wine just because someone else can't handle it? Caveat: I am no longer with an alcoholic - if I were (as in, when hell freezes over), then I would be considerate were they in recovery.

zoe

I used to drink but quit when I saw alcohol causing problems in my marriage. To me it is just not worth it. If I ever leave my H I may have an occassional drink but for now it is not on my list of important things to do.

bahookie

I drink. On a friday night I'll open bottle of wine and sometimes I'll drink too much. I'll feel rubbish the next day, but like Minnie, I don't plan my life around it, I don't choose it over living life, and I've never had any life problems because of it.

Living with a 'sober' (if you take hash out of the equation!) A, it's become very obvious to me that the drink is not the main ingredient in alchoholism.

If it was then the minute they stopped drinking they would also stop hiding, obsessing, and hurting.

If I was giving up smoking I would find it easier to be around people who don't smoke. If my A was newly stopped drinking, or minded an open bottle of wine by the fire, I wouldn't drink around her.

J