Do You Drink?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 2,333
I too drink...like Jess I see it as social and something fun. I don't drink and drive. Like Minnie, I haven't let it impact my life in any way. When I was with my exA, I refrained while he was trying to recover. When he picked up again, I figured, what the heck, he has the problem and doesn't care, why should I not do what I want. At any rate, I hate being around a bunck of drunks that want to argue and are just plain annoying.....
Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 346
Yep. Until my accident I had a glass of wine while I fixed dinner. RAH is generally outside with our kids. When he's around (in our house) I don't because I think it is sort of teasing him even though that's not the intent. I drink socially when we go out but not all the time.
I think it is a personal decision for each person and therefore isn't right or wrong. Decide what you're comfortable with and execute the plan.
I think it is a personal decision for each person and therefore isn't right or wrong. Decide what you're comfortable with and execute the plan.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Yep I drink... and I have a confession to make. If I ever have to make amends to my ex-abf this is one the of amends I will have to make.
When he decided to get sober he TOLD me that I can no longer drink, amazing how I was so angry by then that I started to drink much more. He was very inconsistant all the time and every time he thought something needed to be changed I was suppose to change with him. At this point he had cheated so many times and was less then close to me... in fact he his last affair was right after he started AA. Last March when we were seeing each other I did it again. I was still angry with him and I basically told him without words if you want to see me ... fine lets see if you can hang in a normal world, so I would drink around him and If he wanted to see me and I had planned to meet friends for happy hour then he would just have to come there... If we went out to dinner I did not for one moment hesitate to order wine. In fact there were times I would drink even if I did not really want too just because he was there. Now how crazy was that... All I can say is I was just so hurt and wanted him to hurt too.
If I were in a happy, healthy relationship and they suggested my drinking bothered them I would have no problem in refraining. Mr. Romance is an A and has 20 years sober.... when we started dating he knew I loved wine and so went out to research it and always makes sure my favorite is at his home. Sometimes I drink too much and with Red wine that can give you quite a headache, but I do not plan my life around drinking and it does not effect who I am or what I do. My personality does not change when I drink so I dont see the issue for me.
When he decided to get sober he TOLD me that I can no longer drink, amazing how I was so angry by then that I started to drink much more. He was very inconsistant all the time and every time he thought something needed to be changed I was suppose to change with him. At this point he had cheated so many times and was less then close to me... in fact he his last affair was right after he started AA. Last March when we were seeing each other I did it again. I was still angry with him and I basically told him without words if you want to see me ... fine lets see if you can hang in a normal world, so I would drink around him and If he wanted to see me and I had planned to meet friends for happy hour then he would just have to come there... If we went out to dinner I did not for one moment hesitate to order wine. In fact there were times I would drink even if I did not really want too just because he was there. Now how crazy was that... All I can say is I was just so hurt and wanted him to hurt too.
If I were in a happy, healthy relationship and they suggested my drinking bothered them I would have no problem in refraining. Mr. Romance is an A and has 20 years sober.... when we started dating he knew I loved wine and so went out to research it and always makes sure my favorite is at his home. Sometimes I drink too much and with Red wine that can give you quite a headache, but I do not plan my life around drinking and it does not effect who I am or what I do. My personality does not change when I drink so I dont see the issue for me.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Chaos City
Posts: 605
I drank a couple of times this summer. Who knows when I will touch it again, I dont even think about it really. I do feel very hyprocritical when I decided to have a couple of beers.
Friends were over he was already drinking, I had a couple with them, but the thing is, I stop after a couple. I dont have a problem with alcohol, I could go two years and not even think about having some myself.
My H cant stop, and if all the beer in our house is gone, and he hear's the neighbors still outside, he will go over there to get more.
My H has always said he would never want a wife that drank like him.
Friends were over he was already drinking, I had a couple with them, but the thing is, I stop after a couple. I dont have a problem with alcohol, I could go two years and not even think about having some myself.
My H cant stop, and if all the beer in our house is gone, and he hear's the neighbors still outside, he will go over there to get more.
My H has always said he would never want a wife that drank like him.
Acting not reacting
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: My happy place
Posts: 1,788
My GUIDELINES:
IF he is abstaining than I will not drink around him or be around him after I have had one, it would be too tempting for him to smell it on me, and after even one sip, he would smell it and that would leave me feeling unsupportive.
If he is not abstaining, then I will have a drink when or if I feel the desire, which is maybe 2-3 times a week at night I will have 1-2 glasses of wine. If he is not in recovery then I will not adjust my lifestyle when he is drinking 2 pints of Skol a day.
Seems cruel, maybe but thats what has worked for me.
IF he is abstaining than I will not drink around him or be around him after I have had one, it would be too tempting for him to smell it on me, and after even one sip, he would smell it and that would leave me feeling unsupportive.
If he is not abstaining, then I will have a drink when or if I feel the desire, which is maybe 2-3 times a week at night I will have 1-2 glasses of wine. If he is not in recovery then I will not adjust my lifestyle when he is drinking 2 pints of Skol a day.
Seems cruel, maybe but thats what has worked for me.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 782
I drink. I drink too much occassionally. Boy, when my H and I met, I drank a LOT. We were in college, and I just didn't understand that you could go to the bar and not get drunk. These days, I hate being drunk. I hate hangovers. A couple of work nights, I'll have 1 or 2, depending, and if we do go out on the weekends, I'll drink then too. When my H got his 2nd DWI, I honestly had not realized he might be an A yet. I was just mad at him for doing something stupid! He stopped for 3 months, and I drank during that, but I really didn't understand at that time that it might affect him.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
Hardly at all. I have had a couple of beers on a day out and on holiday - but I don't want to with D.
I don't want it in my house because it's our home and home is special. I feel quite strongly about that, I feel more strongly about that than D I think. It would upset me to have it in the house. I think watching what happened with D was strong aversion therapy for me, I lost any liking for it.
I don't want it in my house because it's our home and home is special. I feel quite strongly about that, I feel more strongly about that than D I think. It would upset me to have it in the house. I think watching what happened with D was strong aversion therapy for me, I lost any liking for it.
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