No More Lies
It Is What It Is
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Peculiar, MO
Posts: 292
No More Lies
Hi, my name is Mischele and right here, right now, is the first time I've been willing to admit that I AM an addict. I started drinking and smoking pot recreationally when I was fifteen, swearing I would never do anything other than that. By age 25 I had done enough meth to destroy about every tooth in my head, not to mention I weighed about 80-90 lbs and my friends told me I looked like the walking dead, which of course I didn't believe. I don't go looking for it anymore, but here I am at 37 yrs old, last time I used meth was August 04, but I am still using/wanting to use meth and other drugs and so far have been unable to say no when someone lays it out in front of me. I have remedied this so far by forcing myself to stay away from those friends, but it's hard. I could go on, but why bother, everyone has a story, and a drug is a drug is a drug, right?
I gotta couple of friends in NA, so I know enough to know my next step is finding a good meeting and going from there. I'm so so tired, so let the journey begin...
Kahlia - Thanks for your straight-forwardness over in the Ask The Experts forum.
I gotta couple of friends in NA, so I know enough to know my next step is finding a good meeting and going from there. I'm so so tired, so let the journey begin...
Kahlia - Thanks for your straight-forwardness over in the Ask The Experts forum.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Our house.
Posts: 816
Welcome Mishelly,
Huge well done for the admission of being an addict. That is the first step to getting well.
My history is similar to yours...started using young.....finally cleaned up in my late 30s. I have been clean a couple of years now yet i am still not convinced i could say no if someone laid my drug of choice down in front of me. Possibly i could say no once or twice but i dont think my resolve would last long. Most of the people i used with were just using aquaintances...one or two were friends and i miss them dearly sometimes. I will not go to them though, no matter how lonely it gets. Recovery can feel real lonely sometimes especially when we are in the transition from one life to another. The only way is to work on new friendships i believe.
Good luck with the meeting.
Warmest wishes
Evanna.
Huge well done for the admission of being an addict. That is the first step to getting well.
My history is similar to yours...started using young.....finally cleaned up in my late 30s. I have been clean a couple of years now yet i am still not convinced i could say no if someone laid my drug of choice down in front of me. Possibly i could say no once or twice but i dont think my resolve would last long. Most of the people i used with were just using aquaintances...one or two were friends and i miss them dearly sometimes. I will not go to them though, no matter how lonely it gets. Recovery can feel real lonely sometimes especially when we are in the transition from one life to another. The only way is to work on new friendships i believe.
Good luck with the meeting.
Warmest wishes
Evanna.
Last edited by Evanna; 04-20-2005 at 03:47 PM.
It Is What It Is
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Peculiar, MO
Posts: 292
Originally Posted by Evanna
Welcome Mishelly,
Huge well done for the admission of being an addict. That is the first step to getting well.
Huge well done for the admission of being an addict. That is the first step to getting well.
I'm sitting here wondering how could I use for twenty-two years and think I was NOT an addict????
Nature of the beast I guess...deny, deny, deny...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 425
Mishelly, a very warm welcome to you.
Congrats for the realization of being an addict. First step to getting your life in order and getting and staying clean.
As Evanna said, I also don't know how long I would be able to continue to say no if I had my DOC in front of me. Don't need the temptation, as sometimes just every day life for an addict with all the emotions is enough temptation in itself.
All the best to you
Diana
Congrats for the realization of being an addict. First step to getting your life in order and getting and staying clean.
As Evanna said, I also don't know how long I would be able to continue to say no if I had my DOC in front of me. Don't need the temptation, as sometimes just every day life for an addict with all the emotions is enough temptation in itself.
All the best to you
Diana
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