600 Days and pregnant
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,366
600 Days and pregnant
Hey guys. Just wanted to give an update.
I never ever thought I’d be pregnant again let alone with a girl. (If you recall, I have 3 boys - step son 24 yrs, son 19 yrs, and son 6 yrs.)
I also never in a million years thought I’d be 600 days sober (1 year, 7 months and 24 days).
I’ve cried a lot at the beginning of this pregnancy, and again when I found out it’s a girl. I did talk to a therapist a few times and plan on picking back up with her in August when school starts. Now that I’m in my second trimester, things have evened out a bit with hormones and acceptance.
Maybe this is God’s way to assure me that I’ll never drink again. The thought of screwing up a girl brings me so much sadness. I grew up without a dad, or a father figure. My mom was single and I have an older sister that is 6.5 years older than me. She also didn’t have a dad (we have separate fathers).
I tried to contact my father when I was pregnant with my first at 19, and he basically told me he didn’t have time for me. That hurt. Over my many years of drinking, I would try to call him and I remember one time leaving him a drunken voicemail. And I’ve never talked to him or tried to talk to him since.
Even though I’m married, and my baby girl will have a father, I’m just terrified I/we will screw her up, or worse something will happen (hubby is 46) and won’t have a dad. I don’t want her to feel the way I do. I believe part of the reason I drank is because I felt alone and abandoned growing up, never having a father.
Anyway, I didn’t mean to be so melancholy in my post but just wanted to check in.
I never ever thought I’d be pregnant again let alone with a girl. (If you recall, I have 3 boys - step son 24 yrs, son 19 yrs, and son 6 yrs.)
I also never in a million years thought I’d be 600 days sober (1 year, 7 months and 24 days).
I’ve cried a lot at the beginning of this pregnancy, and again when I found out it’s a girl. I did talk to a therapist a few times and plan on picking back up with her in August when school starts. Now that I’m in my second trimester, things have evened out a bit with hormones and acceptance.
Maybe this is God’s way to assure me that I’ll never drink again. The thought of screwing up a girl brings me so much sadness. I grew up without a dad, or a father figure. My mom was single and I have an older sister that is 6.5 years older than me. She also didn’t have a dad (we have separate fathers).
I tried to contact my father when I was pregnant with my first at 19, and he basically told me he didn’t have time for me. That hurt. Over my many years of drinking, I would try to call him and I remember one time leaving him a drunken voicemail. And I’ve never talked to him or tried to talk to him since.
Even though I’m married, and my baby girl will have a father, I’m just terrified I/we will screw her up, or worse something will happen (hubby is 46) and won’t have a dad. I don’t want her to feel the way I do. I believe part of the reason I drank is because I felt alone and abandoned growing up, never having a father.
Anyway, I didn’t mean to be so melancholy in my post but just wanted to check in.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,935
Huge congratulations on both your pregnancy and your 600 days of sobriety, Jillian. Both are very beautiful.
Do all things with love and goodness will follow. Chances are that your baby will have a father for many, many years to come. Relax and enjoy your beautiful ‘soon to be’ baby girl and your new sober life.
I am very excited for you,
Do all things with love and goodness will follow. Chances are that your baby will have a father for many, many years to come. Relax and enjoy your beautiful ‘soon to be’ baby girl and your new sober life.
I am very excited for you,
You'll be fine, just follow your instincts, follow your heart. Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,656
Congratulations on both beautiful blessings!!
let go, let God…..
your fears and worries can be given away, you don’t need to carry their burden.
what a beautiful gift you’ll be able to give your daughter: a sober Mom!
Everything unfolds exactly as it should, and the Serenity Prayer can help you be OK with that.
let go, let God…..
your fears and worries can be given away, you don’t need to carry their burden.
what a beautiful gift you’ll be able to give your daughter: a sober Mom!
Everything unfolds exactly as it should, and the Serenity Prayer can help you be OK with that.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,695
Congratulations Jillian. And a girl, too!
You will make a wonderful parent Jillian. What Dee said is right, YOU know how to do it, with grace, dignity, and love. And don't forget to have bubble baths for yourself.
And 600 days is absolutely fantastic.
You will make a wonderful parent Jillian. What Dee said is right, YOU know how to do it, with grace, dignity, and love. And don't forget to have bubble baths for yourself.
And 600 days is absolutely fantastic.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,252
With recovery in your back pocket now and as you continue to
grow and learn in recovery, building a stronger foundation to live
upon, you have a better chance of raising a healthy family.
You have lots of recovery support behind you so that you
never have to be alone or figure out anything by yourself
with each new experience ahead of you.
There are so many blessings instore for you. Stay strong.
Stay positive and continue on your recovery journey with
strength, willingness and faith restored.
Congratulations on your new little blessing to be.
grow and learn in recovery, building a stronger foundation to live
upon, you have a better chance of raising a healthy family.
You have lots of recovery support behind you so that you
never have to be alone or figure out anything by yourself
with each new experience ahead of you.
There are so many blessings instore for you. Stay strong.
Stay positive and continue on your recovery journey with
strength, willingness and faith restored.
Congratulations on your new little blessing to be.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
Congratulations Jillian!!! Little girls are such a blessing. Mine are 21 and 19 now.
You are ready for this in all ways Jillian. Your painful past and your amazing time in recovery are tools you can use to stay on your healthy and peaceful road. Remember the old adage from AA I think - It's ok to look back at the past. Just don't stare.
That beautiful baby will need you fully present and not too engaged with the past or the future. As you know already, it goes so fast.
Congratulations on everything Jillian!!!
You are ready for this in all ways Jillian. Your painful past and your amazing time in recovery are tools you can use to stay on your healthy and peaceful road. Remember the old adage from AA I think - It's ok to look back at the past. Just don't stare.
That beautiful baby will need you fully present and not too engaged with the past or the future. As you know already, it goes so fast.
Congratulations on everything Jillian!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,366
I learned yesterday after this was posted that a friend of ours had a heart attack. We have distanced ourselves from him and his wife since last year because they are alcoholics and are not good role models to have around our kids. We did go see him today however. He is only 49 and on life support. He’s 3 years older than my husband, and one of the things that terrifies me as my husband gets older. My husbands dad died in his 50’s from a stroke. His father didn’t drink or smoke but he didn’t go to a dr either regularly. I know everyone is different and even healthy people can have strokes and heart attacks. I just have to give it all to God. But our friends demise has also made me even more grateful for our sobriety. I’m so proud of husband for quitting drinking along with me - I thought it was going to be a lifelong battle after I quit. Now if only he’s stop smoking….
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