What DON'T you think about anymore?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,464
What DON'T you think about anymore?
Every once in a while I will be reminded of the bad old days- and a thought will pop into my head and I'm instantly swooshed back in time to those terrible feelings- but it's good because it makes me realize how much more free space I have in my head now that drinking is not my primary focus- here are a few things I don't miss thinking/feeling-
Keeping the liquor store rotation correct- you know what I mean.
How soon I can drink in the day and still be functional later
What I said/did last night
How overwhelmed I feel
How afraid I am all the time
I know there's more- but it really is fading away- what do YOU not think about anymore?
Keeping the liquor store rotation correct- you know what I mean.
How soon I can drink in the day and still be functional later
What I said/did last night
How overwhelmed I feel
How afraid I am all the time
I know there's more- but it really is fading away- what do YOU not think about anymore?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 990
- Can so and so tell I was drinking on the phone. I think I am good, but maybe not
- Smell - can they smell it on me, on my breath, oozing from my pores
- Shaking - I can't reach for money, sign my name, I'd better just keep my hands in my pocket
- Where did I put that bottle. I know I hid it, but where?
- How will I get to town to get more?
- How am I going to get this mess (house, vehicle, yard, whatever) cleaned up. I can barely make it to the kitchen - how will I tackle all of this? Usually I didn't. Just drank more to forget.
++In another thread I'd mentioned that after a year, I had a very vivid dream that I was drinking again. I woke up scared that I had lost everything. For whatever reason, the thought of drinking again is creeping in. I won't do it, because I KNOW where I'd end up very quickly. This thread is just what I needed today.
- Smell - can they smell it on me, on my breath, oozing from my pores
- Shaking - I can't reach for money, sign my name, I'd better just keep my hands in my pocket
- Where did I put that bottle. I know I hid it, but where?
- How will I get to town to get more?
- How am I going to get this mess (house, vehicle, yard, whatever) cleaned up. I can barely make it to the kitchen - how will I tackle all of this? Usually I didn't. Just drank more to forget.
++In another thread I'd mentioned that after a year, I had a very vivid dream that I was drinking again. I woke up scared that I had lost everything. For whatever reason, the thought of drinking again is creeping in. I won't do it, because I KNOW where I'd end up very quickly. This thread is just what I needed today.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,464
BeHappy- thanks for the reminder-
How long until I can write today-
the letters would come out wrong or not at all- hot mess every morning.
I had two drinking dreams last week- the change from cold to warmer weather has triggered some thoughts here and there- but they are just thoughts.
How long until I can write today-
the letters would come out wrong or not at all- hot mess every morning.
I had two drinking dreams last week- the change from cold to warmer weather has triggered some thoughts here and there- but they are just thoughts.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,978
The shop closing times ☹️
I’m sure alcohol is available 24/7 nowadays, but in the UK, some shops stop selling alcohol after 11pm or earlier on Sundays. Many a time I rushed back from an evening out so not to miss out. A few times I was stood there with my beers in hand but wasn’t allowed to buy! I also remember a trip to Scotland which was pretty much the last straw of my marriage. I tried to swipe two small bottles of wine through a self-service checkout, but the assistant told me it was past 11pm. For a second I thought about just walking/running out with the wine. That would’ve ended very badly. I had actually cut down for the previous six months and was doing my version of “moderating”. Looking back I was even more moody doing that than I ever was as a full-blown drinker. Another reason to show moderation is a myth. Fortunately I quit 100% six months after that. I was at my ex-wife’s mother’s house a few weeks ago, and my heart sank when I saw a souvenir fridge magnet from that trip. It’s a trip I’ve never really spoken about (except in marriage counselling). It wasn’t a lightbulb moment at the time, but I realise now it was the lowest point of a very sad drinking era.
I’m sure alcohol is available 24/7 nowadays, but in the UK, some shops stop selling alcohol after 11pm or earlier on Sundays. Many a time I rushed back from an evening out so not to miss out. A few times I was stood there with my beers in hand but wasn’t allowed to buy! I also remember a trip to Scotland which was pretty much the last straw of my marriage. I tried to swipe two small bottles of wine through a self-service checkout, but the assistant told me it was past 11pm. For a second I thought about just walking/running out with the wine. That would’ve ended very badly. I had actually cut down for the previous six months and was doing my version of “moderating”. Looking back I was even more moody doing that than I ever was as a full-blown drinker. Another reason to show moderation is a myth. Fortunately I quit 100% six months after that. I was at my ex-wife’s mother’s house a few weeks ago, and my heart sank when I saw a souvenir fridge magnet from that trip. It’s a trip I’ve never really spoken about (except in marriage counselling). It wasn’t a lightbulb moment at the time, but I realise now it was the lowest point of a very sad drinking era.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 990
I remember I went on a cruise with a bunch of girlfriends. I would drink (secretely) double what they did. Sneaking shots from a different bar, ordering double shot drinks - so it "looked" like we were drinking the same. We were certainly NOT. If I was at home by myself, it was straight vodka. While on the cruise in front of people I'd throw in some cranberry or pineapple juice. Re-reading this thread - I am amazed at all of the "sneaky" things that I did. Just out right lied and sneaked, slimed around. That is not my character by nature but I sure did a lot of it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,464
Yup, Behappy, been there, done that as well. I spent almost 60% of my day in Punta Cana at a bar. Just sitting quietly, single lady sipping (ha) her wine. I would come and go, of course to appear that I was doing "vacation things" but I was mostly at that bar.
I don't think about whether or not I can safely drive somewhere- day or night.
I don't think about whether or not I can safely drive somewhere- day or night.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: South Bay, So Cal
Posts: 6,146
In addition to what’s already been written , I’ll add:
~ Writing drunken notes to myself. So that the next morning I can “proudly” answer my husbands question, “Do you even remember the hurtful things you said to me last night?” I could be a real bitch … 😰😰.
~I also wrote self styled Power Notes—- so even if I didn’t fight with him — I could recall what the heck I babbled on about in my black outs.
~ My “tummy problems” as soon as I ate solid food …. Ugh ..😵💫
~ Writing drunken notes to myself. So that the next morning I can “proudly” answer my husbands question, “Do you even remember the hurtful things you said to me last night?” I could be a real bitch … 😰😰.
~I also wrote self styled Power Notes—- so even if I didn’t fight with him — I could recall what the heck I babbled on about in my black outs.
~ My “tummy problems” as soon as I ate solid food …. Ugh ..😵💫
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,832
I don't miss feeling awful every day when I woke up. 
. I don't miss spending all my money on wine and not on bills. . I don't miss the isolation, the depression.
Glad I'm sober now.
. I don't miss spending all my money on wine and not on bills. . I don't miss the isolation, the depression. Glad I'm sober now.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 14,069
Originally Posted by Fish
How many beers do I have? Is it gonna be enough?
The answer was always, better get some more just in case.
The answer was always, better get some more just in case.
Originally Posted by Least
I don't miss feeling awful every day when I woke up. 
. I don't miss spending all my money on wine and not on bills. . I don't miss the isolation, the depression.
. I don't miss spending all my money on wine and not on bills. . I don't miss the isolation, the depression.and worried sick about my health all the while I kill my organs with drugs/drink. Looking in the mirror for yellow eyes. I don't miss that.
😺 Fortunately there is hope for those that stay
sober. And hope for those wanting to get sober, Zero hope in active addiction I have noticed for myself.Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,056
- Not being able to drive at night because I had been drinking.
- Waking up feeling nauseous and with a headache and knowing it was going to be a long miserable day.
- Sending messages I would never have sent sober.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 1,956
I don't miss the :
1. 3 am hot sweats with stinking stale alcohol breath and cotton mouth
2. Worry, guilt, shame and the feelings of helplessness as to where and how this will end
3. Disappointed /sad face of wife and children when i get my beers
4. Brainfuzz and tiredness through the day
5. Lack of interest in anything good and the wait for the next drink
6. Constant worry about lack of progress in my career
7. Lost money on something that's not good for me
8. Skin dryness, scalp eczema, dry eyes, brittle hair and split toe nail - all of these are now gone
9. Fighting myself to get more. Daddy where are you going again?
No more , SR saved my life, health, family, career, happiness, peace and money.. only SR. There's no place like SR
1. 3 am hot sweats with stinking stale alcohol breath and cotton mouth
2. Worry, guilt, shame and the feelings of helplessness as to where and how this will end
3. Disappointed /sad face of wife and children when i get my beers
4. Brainfuzz and tiredness through the day
5. Lack of interest in anything good and the wait for the next drink
6. Constant worry about lack of progress in my career
7. Lost money on something that's not good for me
8. Skin dryness, scalp eczema, dry eyes, brittle hair and split toe nail - all of these are now gone
9. Fighting myself to get more. Daddy where are you going again?
No more , SR saved my life, health, family, career, happiness, peace and money.. only SR. There's no place like SR
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