I think my mum is spiralling into another relapse.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2022
Posts: 2
I think my mum is spiralling into another relapse.
Trigger Warning: Relapse
Hi! I’m new here and wish I was posting under a more positive note. I spent too long trying to put this into words that I got logged out so will try to capture what I was writing.
My mum is a recovering alcoholic, and drug addict ( Xanax, Amytriptaline,Benzos, Codeine, and others I can’t remember). Since we were born she has been in and out of rehab centres, multiple hospital stays a year for severe depression/suicidal ideation/withdrawal. Earliest memory of her in rehab is when I was around 5 and my sibling 2. It’s too sad to go into more, and for me to think back even though I’m now a 30yr old adult.
My mum has been attending weekly recovery meeting ( remotely atm) with her care group assigned to her from the rehab she was at.
She had been unwell last week with a benign abyss on her breast. Went to doctor last Friday and it was treated. I started feeling uneasy yesterday when something just felt “off” with my mum. ( weird facial twitch, odd hand mannerisms, pupil dilation and glazed over look).
Today I was still feeling uneasy about this, but I tried to focus on my job applications as unfortunately I’m unemployed + living at home.
My dad came home from work, sibling was out.
had dinner which felt horrible when I knew something was not right.
She then went up to have her remote meeting in her room. Did not mention to my dad as his anger and way of coping / reacting is a trigger for my anxiety and depression.I went into kitchen at one point this evening. I saw her bag, I walked past it but then decided to look in it. In one purse she has a receipt dated 4 days ago for a 24 pack of solpadeine (codeine). But it got worse, in a second purse she had there were several receipts from a jewellery pawnbroker she has been to. Some were dated last year. But there was one that was dated from last Saturday/ 4 days ago, for €130.
My heart sank, I’ve been in my room alone crying and just feel devastated, heartbroken.
Why did she need that money if her social welfare payment was yesterday?
it will be just me and her at home tomorrow, I feel I have to ask/ say at this point more so out of a fear that she might start going back to different doctors again for her med fix.
and also I feel I have to say something because she has a friends party this Friday which will be in a pub. My dad is going with her and his drinking has been an issue in the house in the past.
I’m based in a European country so am about to go to bed but will check this forum again in morning, please reach out with any advice as I feel pretty hopeless and heartbroken about it all.
Thankyou.
Hi! I’m new here and wish I was posting under a more positive note. I spent too long trying to put this into words that I got logged out so will try to capture what I was writing.
My mum is a recovering alcoholic, and drug addict ( Xanax, Amytriptaline,Benzos, Codeine, and others I can’t remember). Since we were born she has been in and out of rehab centres, multiple hospital stays a year for severe depression/suicidal ideation/withdrawal. Earliest memory of her in rehab is when I was around 5 and my sibling 2. It’s too sad to go into more, and for me to think back even though I’m now a 30yr old adult.
My mum has been attending weekly recovery meeting ( remotely atm) with her care group assigned to her from the rehab she was at.
She had been unwell last week with a benign abyss on her breast. Went to doctor last Friday and it was treated. I started feeling uneasy yesterday when something just felt “off” with my mum. ( weird facial twitch, odd hand mannerisms, pupil dilation and glazed over look).
Today I was still feeling uneasy about this, but I tried to focus on my job applications as unfortunately I’m unemployed + living at home.
My dad came home from work, sibling was out.
had dinner which felt horrible when I knew something was not right.
She then went up to have her remote meeting in her room. Did not mention to my dad as his anger and way of coping / reacting is a trigger for my anxiety and depression.I went into kitchen at one point this evening. I saw her bag, I walked past it but then decided to look in it. In one purse she has a receipt dated 4 days ago for a 24 pack of solpadeine (codeine). But it got worse, in a second purse she had there were several receipts from a jewellery pawnbroker she has been to. Some were dated last year. But there was one that was dated from last Saturday/ 4 days ago, for €130.
My heart sank, I’ve been in my room alone crying and just feel devastated, heartbroken.
Why did she need that money if her social welfare payment was yesterday?
it will be just me and her at home tomorrow, I feel I have to ask/ say at this point more so out of a fear that she might start going back to different doctors again for her med fix.
and also I feel I have to say something because she has a friends party this Friday which will be in a pub. My dad is going with her and his drinking has been an issue in the house in the past.
I’m based in a European country so am about to go to bed but will check this forum again in morning, please reach out with any advice as I feel pretty hopeless and heartbroken about it all.
Thankyou.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,479
Hi SheIsStrong and welcome 
It sounds like you have grounds for concern for sure.
I'm sorry your dad is hard to approach about this. Have you spoken to your sibling at all about this?
rest assured you've found a great place for support.
I also took care of the duplicate thread
D
It sounds like you have grounds for concern for sure.
I'm sorry your dad is hard to approach about this. Have you spoken to your sibling at all about this?
rest assured you've found a great place for support.
I also took care of the duplicate thread
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2022
Posts: 2
Hi Dee74 thankyou very much,
I really appreciate those words ( and help re my duplicate thread).
To be honest I’m afraid to; they’re on several medications for severe depression and had been hospitalised 3-4 years ago for suicidal risk. It really breaks my heart to even think about how I’d break this news;
(They had a really bad dip with mood a few weeks ago and doing ok atm).
It feels like it’s happening all over again with my mum re her spiralling.
I really appreciate those words ( and help re my duplicate thread).
To be honest I’m afraid to; they’re on several medications for severe depression and had been hospitalised 3-4 years ago for suicidal risk. It really breaks my heart to even think about how I’d break this news;
(They had a really bad dip with mood a few weeks ago and doing ok atm).
It feels like it’s happening all over again with my mum re her spiralling.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,653
Originally Posted by SheIsStrong 
It feels like it’s happening all over again with my mum re her spiralling.
Now, I don't know your family dynamic, but if you wanted to confront her about your worry, why not do that? Her reaction to that is also out of your control, but then you will have done all you can. Let her know she can talk to you about getting help if she would like to perhaps?
Then keep hunting for that job and move out as quickly as possible! I'm sure that is probably your plan anyway? You really do need support as well, do you have Al Anon in your country? If so I would really recommend al-anon meetings, they have them online as well. You also have support here at SR.
https://al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings...onic-meetings/
There is also a book most often recommended in the family and friends forum - Codependent no more, by Melody Beattie, you might find it helpful as it has a lot of information about boundaries in relationships etc, which can help you navigate this.
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