ReadyAtLast

I think part of my problem is boredom/habit. I have a good life -I enjoy work and have a happy marriage and family life. My husband has a few beers some evenings, nothing excessive. I've just got into the habit of drinking too but as we all know it's just a downhill slope. My drinking is excessive, sloppy and physically and mentally bad for me and my family.

I feel better physically and mentally, so much much better when i don't drink. A few days off I feel great so why why why do I keep picking up again and repeating the same patterns.

I really need something to focus on after work. I finish mid afternoon so plenty of late afternoon/early evening time. I don't really have any hobbies as such and no classes of group activities as live in a very remote place. I've always said I could be a recluse and am pretty insular. Maybe I need to shake that up. I'm on a couple of local village committees which take up some evenings.

I am going to paint the house and have ordered the paint today. I love painting and decorating and find it very therapeutic. That will keep me busy. I just feel I've lost my sense of self and sense of being,

I don't even know why i'm posting this. Maybe looking for ideas for things to do. Just writing thoughts down too. Thank you

mariposa

doggonecarl

A project is a fine idea, but a poor solution for alcoholism.

Nonsensical

Maybe you could make a project out of finding your sense of being.

I did. Made a project of it. I think it might be one of those projects that never truly gets finished.

Still, I highly recommend it.

Anna

ReadyatLast, I'm glad you're looking for things to do and that you will enjoy. It's good to pay attention to what you need in your life as your recovery journey continues.

Mummyto2

Dee74

Hi RAL

I think it's important to feel productive and occupied and engaged - but as I think you know that alone will probably not solve all your alcoholic/addictive problems.

Whatever else you do, make your recovery a project too?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

D

Tetrax

Get into nature maybe? I mean you have a tiger avatar so maybe you already are, and if you live in a remote place you may very well have wildlife to see on your doorstep.

djlook

What happens after the painting and decorating are finished?

gymratgirl

Maybe find some kind of group activity? That way, you have a place to be, people to interact with? Kind of keep yourself on track if you know that others are expecting to see you?

listae

It's nice to hear from you RAL. I've been thinking about how you are doing. I wish that I had a solution to offer for your question but I don't. All I know is that I drank to not be bored once and then really couldn't function for most of the day until the next drink. That may not be your story, however. But that is where boredom took me.

Now, I just take life 30 seconds or five minutes at a time and I'm much happier. I'm not numbed out anymore or looking for a fix. I just focus on what is before me and try not to let my mind sabotage my serenity. It's not easy for me and I'm just learning how to do this...but I've learned a lot by researching spiritual techniques of presence.

Anyway, I've missed your posts. So, I'm glad to hear from you!

Happyvale

Hi Ready....
I certainly relate. I have often joked to friends that I need to find a new hobby...that drinking just wasn't intended for sport. I've had periods of sobriety and today I realized I want that again. I drink when lonely and bored yet suddenly today I thought...it's the drinking that is boring and lonely. Easier to reach for a bottle than reach out for life. My relationship with the bottle is long tenured. We've had break ups but I always go back. I hope you find that project you're looking for. I hope I do too. I hope I stick to this awhile. I hope I find some community here again. I had it once before. And I see some old familiar names that I'm happy to see still here. This could be my hobby for the next while I think : ) Oddly enough, I was sober when I moved to the city I live in now a few years back. My life was in shambles really. I'd only been a few months sober. I now have many of things I didn't back then. I have a great job where I make good money. I have a furnished place of my own and travel often. I can afford what I need...... but I'm not happy. No use drinking a bottle of wine every night and telling myself otherwise.

ReadyAtLast

Thank you for your replies. I will reply individually later.

I'm fully aware that a project in itself is not a solution but it's a start. It's much better than sitting in the house night after night trying not to drink.

Ayers

Hi RAL, I think wanting to get into a project is a great idea. I also struggle with boredom - and for a while I couldn't even get myself to get stuck into something that I would finish.

It sounds silly, but I found just browsing through Pinterest now and then, gave me some sort of inspiration to start at least planning some ideas. I love to crochet, so I have finished a pile of blankets - more than we need - and I am going to donate them to the help fund for the people in Mozambique - who need help after the 2 cyclones. But I'm getting bored with that now.

Think of getting a basket/box with stuff at the ready for you to grab when you feel bored. Put stuff in there that you like - adult colouring books, some nice glitter pens, make giftcards, crochet/knit, start making some jewelery . Or just check out Pinterest - I am sure you will find something to get your creative juices flowing.

Years ago I got stuck into scrapbooking - that was great, but petered out after everything became so digital. I often think about starting that again - the children still love looking at those albums, even though they are grown now.

Hope you find something engaging to rock your boat

AAPJ

RAL - thanks for posting your thoughts. I hope you find the following thoughts helpful.

Life Really Does Get Better Sober

"I often remember reading other people’s posts who had been sober for several months/years and more saying how much better their lives were and wondering if that really could be me...

I've now been sober just over 6 months and can honestly say life really is much better...

Don't get me wrong. life's not all great of course, there are bad days as well as good but overall life is a hell of a lot better than it was. For all those starting out at sobriety, stick at it, you can do this, this can be your life. It really is worth it. I do get thoughts of drinking, but they are fleeting rather than constant."

Doris47

I'm the same I always need to be doing something in these early days, I decorated my house, I joined a gym, I go running, I now have a puppy, I'm constantly on the go, I found when I have nothing specific to do my mind wanders. I know 100% I would not act on the occasional thought, but it doesn't stop it popping up time to time.
I'm committed now, I don't want to fall back,now I've come so far. Even though I picked up since Christmas,I learnt from those stupid choices.
I hope you find something 😊

MyLittleHorsie

I probably have some sort of disorder, I cannot sit still. I hate being still. My kids have stuff 4 nights a week. Weekends, busy... It is who I am. Boredom, absolutely figured into my boozing. I tried, like really tried to meditate, hate it. However, I like yoga, except those 10 minutes at the end where you have to lay still.

So, I use my horses for my thinking time, especially mucking the barn. This time of year picking stones and seeding. A huge one, gardening. In January I study seed catalogues, in February seeds start arriving, by March planting, April and May, prepping beds for planting late May. June through September is the never ending war with weeds and squirrels. Bleeping tree rats. I have the morning home today, so spreading soil and hardening seedlings, a squirrel climbed to my balcony and ate the leaves off a seedling. I see it is on, I got some rat shot for that squirrel's butt! Kidding, I will do nothing but curse it
Gardening also led me to the garden club and our property is on two annual tours. Just as the kid with a pool is uber popular, so is the lady with plants. This Sunday a bunch of friends are coming to dig out and separate plants for themselves. Not only am I popular, I get about 8 hours of work done for me and they bring baked goods and presents for letting them!
Search out your local library or church. Our church has a half dozen groups that meet there that have nothing to do with the church and don't advertise they exist. There is always stuff to do.

Jeni26

Hi RAL,

So sorry you’re struggling with this.

I’ve currently got a thread in the mental health forum talking about some reoccurrence of trauma flashbacks I’ve had recently. My counsellor has recommended me concentrating on self-care while we do some work around this.

I’m turning this into a little project too, and starting journaling what I’m doing to look after myself, eating healthily, jotting down recipes, writing about fun times with family and friends, maybe attaching some photos of walks in the woods or along a beach...

Giving up the drink has enabled me to really value myself and look at lots of different aspects of my life. Not always easy to do and I’m prepared for some difficult times ahead, but always worth it.

You are worth it too. Maybe journaling could help you too. A recovery project?

Sending you love ❤️

ReadyAtLast

Thank you I do play the piano too though haven't for years. We got one last year for my son to learn. It's a great opportunity for me to re=start. Thank you .

ReadyAtLast

I know Carl. It was more something to do in conjunction with recovery not instead of.