This Will Pass
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This Will Pass
I wanted to share this w/anyone here who might need it. I found this online right about the time that XAH was going to be moving out. As I posted in another thread today, I was terrified--terrified of being alone, terrified of not being able to handle my own life and responsibilities, terrified of heading into the unknown future w/o anyone beside me to lean on. Terrified.
I printed it out and posted it on my closet door where I could read it as often as needed. And I survived--I'm here to tell the tale. Hope someone else finds the strength and grounding they need from it today too.
This Will Pass
Breathe. You’re going to be okay.
Breathe and remember that you’ve been in this place before. You’ve been this uncomfortable and anxious and scared, and you’ve survived.
Breathe and know that you can survive this too. These feelings can’t break you. They’re painful and debilitating, but you can sit with them and eventually, they will pass. Maybe not immediately, but sometime soon, they are going to fade and when they do, you’ll look back at this moment and laugh for having doubted your resilience.
I know it feels unbearable right now, but keep breathing, again and again. This will pass. I promise it will pass.
~ Daniell Koepke
I printed it out and posted it on my closet door where I could read it as often as needed. And I survived--I'm here to tell the tale. Hope someone else finds the strength and grounding they need from it today too.
This Will Pass
Breathe. You’re going to be okay.
Breathe and remember that you’ve been in this place before. You’ve been this uncomfortable and anxious and scared, and you’ve survived.
Breathe and know that you can survive this too. These feelings can’t break you. They’re painful and debilitating, but you can sit with them and eventually, they will pass. Maybe not immediately, but sometime soon, they are going to fade and when they do, you’ll look back at this moment and laugh for having doubted your resilience.
I know it feels unbearable right now, but keep breathing, again and again. This will pass. I promise it will pass.
~ Daniell Koepke
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And as so often happens, in the process of finding a picture/quote to post along w/the Daniell Koepke reading in my post above, I stumbled across Doe Zantamata, the author of the quote in the picture.
A quick search showed me a number of other quotes. I thought that this one was especially appropriate for us here at SR:
You cannot convince someone to see something that they do not want to see, no matter how much you know it would improve their lives. You have to love and accept them exactly as they are today. If you cannot do that, you have to let them go and find their own way, in their own time, if they ever choose to do so.
Otherwise, you'll be giving them the power over your happiness, too.
I'm going to be checking my local library system to see if I can find any of her books. If not, I'll look online at a couple of used book sellers' sites. I can't tell you how often something like this happens, where searching for one thing leads me to another thing that I need to learn. And I'm learning not to ignore those "chance meetings"!
A quick search showed me a number of other quotes. I thought that this one was especially appropriate for us here at SR:
You cannot convince someone to see something that they do not want to see, no matter how much you know it would improve their lives. You have to love and accept them exactly as they are today. If you cannot do that, you have to let them go and find their own way, in their own time, if they ever choose to do so.
Otherwise, you'll be giving them the power over your happiness, too.
I'm going to be checking my local library system to see if I can find any of her books. If not, I'll look online at a couple of used book sellers' sites. I can't tell you how often something like this happens, where searching for one thing leads me to another thing that I need to learn. And I'm learning not to ignore those "chance meetings"!
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 415
Love this post. Thank you Honeypig! I needed to see this today.
I feel like I am learning so much this week regarding myself and what I need to do for myself. Unfortunately it seems all of life’s lessons worth learning come hard and with a lot of pain. I am finding that self growth is NOT easy, however so very worth it because I am worth it! Thank you again!
I feel like I am learning so much this week regarding myself and what I need to do for myself. Unfortunately it seems all of life’s lessons worth learning come hard and with a lot of pain. I am finding that self growth is NOT easy, however so very worth it because I am worth it! Thank you again!
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,349
Ohhh, i love that second quote you shared Honeypig! It's what I'm battling right now with my ex bf. I can't get him out of his own denial and I can't fix his perspective to open his eyes to reality. I know that, and I still love him but I know it's not healthy for us to be together.
The greatest thing I learned in recovery is that I can love someone and accept them, but still choose to walk away and turn them over to their Higher Power. I don't need to fix them....I can leave that to God and turn myself over to forgiveness and grace and peace.
HUGS! thanks for sharing!
The greatest thing I learned in recovery is that I can love someone and accept them, but still choose to walk away and turn them over to their Higher Power. I don't need to fix them....I can leave that to God and turn myself over to forgiveness and grace and peace.
HUGS! thanks for sharing!
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I was looking for something in my Recovery folder on the computer and stumbled across some writing I'd done about a year after XAH and I had split. I was astounded at how much pain I was still in, how much I was still struggling. I absolutely knew that we were done as husband and wife, there was not one iota of doubt, but the amount of pain I was still feeling was incredible.
But it passed. It really did. I feel so much better now, 3 years after the split and 2 years after the writing I found. I am amazed that I was strong enough to have withstood all I felt, and I'm grateful to have found that writing to remind me of it.
I would strongly, strongly encourage you to keep some sort of journal. Even if you don't write in it every day, even if you just jot down a line or two. Mine has been simply invaluable to me in my recovery--looking back has done me so much good and taught me so much about myself, where I've been and what I've learned and lived through.
My friends, we are ALL so much stronger than we ever imagined!
But it passed. It really did. I feel so much better now, 3 years after the split and 2 years after the writing I found. I am amazed that I was strong enough to have withstood all I felt, and I'm grateful to have found that writing to remind me of it.
I would strongly, strongly encourage you to keep some sort of journal. Even if you don't write in it every day, even if you just jot down a line or two. Mine has been simply invaluable to me in my recovery--looking back has done me so much good and taught me so much about myself, where I've been and what I've learned and lived through.
My friends, we are ALL so much stronger than we ever imagined!
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Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 462
[QUOTE=honeypig;6961534]I wanted to share this w/anyone here who might need it. I found this online right about the time that XAH was going to be moving out. As I posted in another thread today, I was terrified--terrified of being alone, terrified of not being able to handle my own life and responsibilities, terrified of heading into the unknown future w/o anyone beside me to lean on. Terrified.
I printed it out and posted it on my closet door where I could read it as often as needed. And I survived--I'm here to tell the tale. Hope someone else finds the strength and grounding they need from it today too.
This Will Pass
Breathe. You’re going to be okay.
Breathe and remember that you’ve been in this place before. You’ve been this uncomfortable and anxious and scared, and you’ve survived.
Breathe and know that you can survive this too. These feelings can’t break you. They’re painful and debilitating, but you can sit with them and eventually, they will pass. Maybe not immediately, but sometime soon, they are going to fade and when they do, you’ll look back at this moment and laugh for having doubted your resilience.
I know it feels unbearable right now, but keep breathing, again and again. This will pass. I promise it will pass.
~ Daniell Koepke
That's beautiful thank you for posting it, it's going in my journal for a rainy day
I printed it out and posted it on my closet door where I could read it as often as needed. And I survived--I'm here to tell the tale. Hope someone else finds the strength and grounding they need from it today too.
This Will Pass
Breathe. You’re going to be okay.
Breathe and remember that you’ve been in this place before. You’ve been this uncomfortable and anxious and scared, and you’ve survived.
Breathe and know that you can survive this too. These feelings can’t break you. They’re painful and debilitating, but you can sit with them and eventually, they will pass. Maybe not immediately, but sometime soon, they are going to fade and when they do, you’ll look back at this moment and laugh for having doubted your resilience.
I know it feels unbearable right now, but keep breathing, again and again. This will pass. I promise it will pass.
~ Daniell Koepke
That's beautiful thank you for posting it, it's going in my journal for a rainy day
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
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Excellent reminders honeypig, thank you for these.
Sometimes when I'm at my lowest all I can manage to keep mindful of is that "No one ever died from discomfort" and that holding on through that "hot loneliness" is the only way to count myself among the survivors.
So far I have 100% success rate at that part.... even if sometimes I feel like, given the choice, I'd opt for a root canal instead.
Sometimes when I'm at my lowest all I can manage to keep mindful of is that "No one ever died from discomfort" and that holding on through that "hot loneliness" is the only way to count myself among the survivors.
So far I have 100% success rate at that part.... even if sometimes I feel like, given the choice, I'd opt for a root canal instead.
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,709
Breathe and remember that you’ve been in this place before. You’ve been this uncomfortable and anxious and scared, and you’ve survived.
Well, I did, you can, even when it seems you can't - reach out to someone you trust and talk it out, get different perspectives, come to SR and pour it out, discuss. You will get through it. There is comfort to be found and there will be brighter days.
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,618
This reminds me of the best medical advice I ever got about panic attacks (which I had a spot of trouble with about 15 years ago): It FEELS like a heart attack, but it IS NOT a heart attack. It FEELS like you're about to die, but you ARE NOT about to die. Feelings aren't facts, and they certainly aren't death sentences.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: The South
Posts: 59
Thanks for posting. The message resonated. Back after a year long absence and found that the postings I'd made two years ago, and one year ago could have been made two days ago or one day ago. Embarrassed because they should be zombie threads, but they're back...
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Sasha, I had problems w/panic attacks too, mostly in the past, and that was pretty much the advice I was given also--keep breathing, realize that it's unpleasant, but also realize that it will pass in a short time.
And it's true.
And it's true.
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Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1,355
I love that quote by Zoe zantamata, I can relate so much.
I have found what's helped me move on over the last year was figuring out why it happened and my role/responsibility in it.
I am now at a place where I'm accepting that it did. I feel time for figuring out why has been done and I have that awareness. Lesson learned and now to move on.
I have found what's helped me move on over the last year was figuring out why it happened and my role/responsibility in it.
I am now at a place where I'm accepting that it did. I feel time for figuring out why has been done and I have that awareness. Lesson learned and now to move on.
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Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 2
[QUOTE=Helianthus;6961965] Thank you for sharing. I needed to read these quotes as I am trying to come to terms with the fact that my husband may never stop drinking. He will if he wants to, but not because I want him to. I often ask and make mentions of it or express concern about how much he's drinking. It doesn't seem to make a difference. I've been withholding attention and affection when he is drinking, and I'm realizing it's time that I love him as he is in spite of the drinking because I can't force change and try and take care of myself.
Originally Posted by honeypig 
I wanted to share this w/anyone here who might need it. I found this online right about the time that XAH was going to be moving out. As I posted in another thread today, I was terrified--terrified of being alone, terrified of not being able to handle my own life and responsibilities, terrified of heading into the unknown future w/o anyone beside me to lean on. Terrified.
I printed it out and posted it on my closet door where I could read it as often as needed. And I survived--I'm here to tell the tale. Hope someone else finds the strength and grounding they need from it today too.
This Will Pass
Breathe. You’re going to be okay.
Breathe and remember that you’ve been in this place before. You’ve been this uncomfortable and anxious and scared, and you’ve survived.
Breathe and know that you can survive this too. These feelings can’t break you. They’re painful and debilitating, but you can sit with them and eventually, they will pass. Maybe not immediately, but sometime soon, they are going to fade and when they do, you’ll look back at this moment and laugh for having doubted your resilience.
I know it feels unbearable right now, but keep breathing, again and again. This will pass. I promise it will pass.
~ Daniell Koepke
That's beautiful thank you for posting it, it's going in my journal for a rainy day
I printed it out and posted it on my closet door where I could read it as often as needed. And I survived--I'm here to tell the tale. Hope someone else finds the strength and grounding they need from it today too.
This Will Pass
Breathe. You’re going to be okay.
Breathe and remember that you’ve been in this place before. You’ve been this uncomfortable and anxious and scared, and you’ve survived.
Breathe and know that you can survive this too. These feelings can’t break you. They’re painful and debilitating, but you can sit with them and eventually, they will pass. Maybe not immediately, but sometime soon, they are going to fade and when they do, you’ll look back at this moment and laugh for having doubted your resilience.
I know it feels unbearable right now, but keep breathing, again and again. This will pass. I promise it will pass.
~ Daniell Koepke
That's beautiful thank you for posting it, it's going in my journal for a rainy day
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