Here we go again.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 50
Here we go again.
Feeling like total crap today. Haven't been on here in a long time. Been drinking heavily again and am most likely going to go through withdrawals again. I am treating my wife like crap, I have a 4 year old. I work from home all day so I just drink from morning until night. I barely drive anymore because I am usually too drunk. I have quit for a couple weeks before and actually felt better than I have in my entire adult life. I started drinking at 14 and I am turning 37 next month. I have convinced myself multiple times after quitting that I can control it. I can for a couple weeks or even months but then I start drinking all the time again. I just bought my second house and moved half way across the country with my family. I have finally convinced myself that I am not capable of drinking and am no longer in denial. Not another drop! Here is to Day 1 folks!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 50
I appreciate that. I got a buddy that just boozes on the weekends and he used to drink like me. I have finally figured out that he is not an alcoholic. I used to say to myself, "if he can control it so can I". That is definitely not the case.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 50
I just came back to Mexico with my family (they drink a pretty good amount) and I could see the look in my Mother's eyes each time I would order another drink. I can see me killing myself is killing her as well.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 72
Yes, I have a son who had addiction problems (speed) Even though I was drinking then, it still killed me to see what he was doing to himself.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Washington State
Posts: 39
Hi WizingUp - here is to a new start, I am on Day One (can't even count how many have come before). The romantic lure of thinking a glass of wine sounds good just doesn't cut it. It truly baffles me that after so many mornings and days of feeling horrible, guilty, shamed, etc, that I would ever have another drink. But I did. Several. Okay, a lot. All we can do is face the fact that drinking does us NO good and go from there. Quit. Stop. Recognize it for the poison it is. That's what I am doing, and am with you on this (last) first day for us both. -Pips
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 596
Welcome aboard. It really does not matter what your buddy considers himself, or what society considers him, or what role alcohol might play in his life. It helps to focus on how alcohol is destroying your life, and not how your drinking compares with others.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
For me, stopping drinking gave me real freedom.
The fact I could drive anywhere I wanted, at anytime was something I had not been able to do for years.
In the evening, I would drink.
That was as far as I got in terms of making plans for my time after work.
I also started to stop answering the phone at night as I did not want family or friends to notice my speech was slurred.
My world got smaller and smaller.
I have not drunk for 5 years now.
My world is as big as I want it to be.
I am in control of my actions, drink no longer dictates my time.
Honestly it is the best thing I ever did stopping drinking.
I never thought I would be able to do it.
I could not imagine life without drink.
I wish you the best xx
The fact I could drive anywhere I wanted, at anytime was something I had not been able to do for years.
In the evening, I would drink.
That was as far as I got in terms of making plans for my time after work.
I also started to stop answering the phone at night as I did not want family or friends to notice my speech was slurred.
My world got smaller and smaller.
I have not drunk for 5 years now.
My world is as big as I want it to be.
I am in control of my actions, drink no longer dictates my time.
Honestly it is the best thing I ever did stopping drinking.
I never thought I would be able to do it.
I could not imagine life without drink.
I wish you the best xx
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 3
I'm glad you're here. It sounds like you really want a change, like me. Why do you feel like it's so hard to take control of something we despise so much? I like to be responsible for my decisions and alcohol makes me feel out of control.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 50
I am more determined then ever. I am going to end up losing my family if I don't. Between them and alcohol it is a no brainer. Glad my wife got lorazopam in Mexico (scared of planes) because the next 3 days are going to be a roller coaster ride. I no longer fear alcohol. Not another drop! I am in control of my destiny. I plan on visiting the forum daily for the foreseeable future.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 50
Checking in. Day 2 has arrived. I feel much better than I thought. Sweating but not so much shaking. Took a lorazopam before I went to bed and actually got a little sleep which I am sure helped with the shakes. Doing much better than the last couple of times I went cold turkey. Feeling pretty good. No appetite still but this should be a cake walk vs the last two times. Head is foggy, but it always is when I am drinking so no surprise there.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 50
Well, I made it to Day 3. I am Feeling very good. Had very little withdrawal symptoms which was a pleasant surprise. A bit of brain fog is setting in, but I am looking forward to being able to go out into the world without being in a drunken stupor. I took my kid to school today and it is a nice, sunny, windy day. I appreciated that for the first time in a long time. This forum has made it that much easier. Thanks everyone!
if you need ideas on how to make an even better plan - I recommend this link
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
D
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)