WizingUp

Feeling like total crap today. Haven't been on here in a long time. Been drinking heavily again and am most likely going to go through withdrawals again. I am treating my wife like crap, I have a 4 year old. I work from home all day so I just drink from morning until night. I barely drive anymore because I am usually too drunk. I have quit for a couple weeks before and actually felt better than I have in my entire adult life. I started drinking at 14 and I am turning 37 next month. I have convinced myself multiple times after quitting that I can control it. I can for a couple weeks or even months but then I start drinking all the time again. I just bought my second house and moved half way across the country with my family. I have finally convinced myself that I am not capable of drinking and am no longer in denial. Not another drop! Here is to Day 1 folks!

Outonthetiles

That's pretty much where I was about 14 months ago. If I can quit, you can too.

WizingUp

I appreciate that. I got a buddy that just boozes on the weekends and he used to drink like me. I have finally figured out that he is not an alcoholic. I used to say to myself, "if he can control it so can I". That is definitely not the case.

joey112

Here's to Day 1
You can do it if you choose to do it!!!

WizingUp

I just came back to Mexico with my family (they drink a pretty good amount) and I could see the look in my Mother's eyes each time I would order another drink. I can see me killing myself is killing her as well.

WizingUp

Thanks Joey!

joey112

Yes, I have a son who had addiction problems (speed) Even though I was drinking then, it still killed me to see what he was doing to himself.

Pipster

Hi WizingUp - here is to a new start, I am on Day One (can't even count how many have come before). The romantic lure of thinking a glass of wine sounds good just doesn't cut it. It truly baffles me that after so many mornings and days of feeling horrible, guilty, shamed, etc, that I would ever have another drink. But I did. Several. Okay, a lot. All we can do is face the fact that drinking does us NO good and go from there. Quit. Stop. Recognize it for the poison it is. That's what I am doing, and am with you on this (last) first day for us both. -Pips

SoberHoopsFan

Welcome aboard. It really does not matter what your buddy considers himself, or what society considers him, or what role alcohol might play in his life. It helps to focus on how alcohol is destroying your life, and not how your drinking compares with others.

Harryho

Day 1 is the hardest day. Thing is, you are here, yay for you SoberHoopsFan. Hugs.

Dee74

Welcome back

Any ideas on how'll you make this time different WizingUp?

D

Sasha4

For me, stopping drinking gave me real freedom.

The fact I could drive anywhere I wanted, at anytime was something I had not been able to do for years.

In the evening, I would drink.
That was as far as I got in terms of making plans for my time after work.

I also started to stop answering the phone at night as I did not want family or friends to notice my speech was slurred.

My world got smaller and smaller.

I have not drunk for 5 years now.
My world is as big as I want it to be.
I am in control of my actions, drink no longer dictates my time.

Honestly it is the best thing I ever did stopping drinking.
I never thought I would be able to do it.
I could not imagine life without drink.

I wish you the best xx

wemzyemz

I'm glad you're here. It sounds like you really want a change, like me. Why do you feel like it's so hard to take control of something we despise so much? I like to be responsible for my decisions and alcohol makes me feel out of control.

Hevyn

Good to have you with us, WizingUp. I was drinking all day, every day, when I came crawling in to SR. I was able to stop a life long dependency. We know you can too.

WizingUp

I am more determined then ever. I am going to end up losing my family if I don't. Between them and alcohol it is a no brainer. Glad my wife got lorazopam in Mexico (scared of planes) because the next 3 days are going to be a roller coaster ride. I no longer fear alcohol. Not another drop! I am in control of my destiny. I plan on visiting the forum daily for the foreseeable future.

Hevyn

I certainly wish I'd made that decision in my 30's. So much needless grief. I'm glad you're determined.

Delilah1

Glad you are back. Keep posting, and follow up with your doctor if you are struggling tomorrow. Looking forward to hearing from you on day two.

WizingUp

Checking in. Day 2 has arrived. I feel much better than I thought. Sweating but not so much shaking. Took a lorazopam before I went to bed and actually got a little sleep which I am sure helped with the shakes. Doing much better than the last couple of times I went cold turkey. Feeling pretty good. No appetite still but this should be a cake walk vs the last two times. Head is foggy, but it always is when I am drinking so no surprise there.

WizingUp

Well, I made it to Day 3. I am Feeling very good. Had very little withdrawal symptoms which was a pleasant surprise. A bit of brain fog is setting in, but I am looking forward to being able to go out into the world without being in a drunken stupor. I took my kid to school today and it is a nice, sunny, windy day. I appreciated that for the first time in a long time. This forum has made it that much easier. Thanks everyone!

Dee74

Trying harder is what most of us instinctively do, but I there we need to institute some changes as well - there needs to be some difference for us to achieve a different outcome.

if you need ideas on how to make an even better plan - I recommend this link

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

D