A new day
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 79
A new day
Hi everyone, this is my first time here. I wanted to make a post to put it out in the universe that I really want and need to stop drinking.
I hope by being here I can keep myself accountable and find support in the amazing people here.
I have so many good things in my life to be thankful and happy for, but the deep pain in my heart from past and current experiences sometimes overshadows it all, then I drink, and it's a vicious cycle I'm sure you all know. I am also starting counseling again this weekend so I will have more one-on-one support and make a plan. I will be going to face to face AA meetings starting tomorrow, and online meetings as well.
Thanks for being here. It feels really hopeless because I have tried this so many times and fail..and I just don't even trust myself. But I can't give up...this time has to be different.
I hope by being here I can keep myself accountable and find support in the amazing people here.
I have so many good things in my life to be thankful and happy for, but the deep pain in my heart from past and current experiences sometimes overshadows it all, then I drink, and it's a vicious cycle I'm sure you all know. I am also starting counseling again this weekend so I will have more one-on-one support and make a plan. I will be going to face to face AA meetings starting tomorrow, and online meetings as well.
Thanks for being here. It feels really hopeless because I have tried this so many times and fail..and I just don't even trust myself. But I can't give up...this time has to be different.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 327
Welcome it sounds like you have a good start already this time around. Don't ever give up. The times that you have slipped or relapsed have only taught you that this time you need to be prepared with a plan. You got this! Keep posting here.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Welcome to SR Gretel! This is a wonderfully supportive community. You should join the August class, it is for anyone who has decided to stop drinkin in August, it helps to have people at the same point in their recovery journey.
Looking forward to seeing you on here!
Looking forward to seeing you on here!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Hi. Glad you found us. Read and post frequently. It's a great support forum, with a real sense of community.
Good luck for your first AA meeting. If three is anything you want to ask about what to expect, please feel free to post questions. I'm an AAer and there are plenty of others here as well.
I'd also suggest having a good read of Dee's thread about making a plan... http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-plans-2.html
If yiu haven't a little money with you at the meeting, often there will be a literature stand. My personal recommendation would be the AA big book and Living Sober, which is a little book and an easy read - perfect for when I had early-sobriety-washing -machine-made. They're also available for Kindle by shopping online if you prefer to read that way.
Between meetings , I found the speaker tapes are good way to improve crease my understanding of the program, and immerse myself in my sobriety daily while I was getting my head round everything. There are lots in youtube, and loads and loads on this site... 5500+ AA Speakers & Tapes - Organized & Mobile-Friendly!
Likelihood is that some ladies at the meeting will give you their phone numbers. These are for you to call or text if you have any questions, but also to just get used to touching base with others in the fellowship. For example, it would be fine to text something along the lines of 'it was lovely to meet you at the meeting. Thanks for making me welcome. Struggling a little but I'm. ... / Getting on okay, and I'm. ... Hope to see you at the next meeting.' I only say this, because it took me a long time to suss out what people gave the numbers for, and when it was okay to contact. This meant I didn't make the most of the fellowship. As far as contact outside meetings is concerned, it is strongly recommended that men stick with men, and women stick with women (obviously more complicated it the case of gay and bisexual members of the fellowship - there are always grey areas aren't there). But, if men give you their numbers, it's probably best to lose them, even if you don't want to cause offense by refusing to take them. Our emotions can be all over the place in early sobriety and our alcoholism can kind of pop out sideways in other behaviour that we mistakenly think will offer us relief, so it does keep things much much simpler.
Anyway. Typically enough for me, that turned into a bit of a waffle. Sorry to go on lol.
Wishing you all the best in tackling you alcoholic drinking through sobriety, and your alcoholic thinking through recovery. BB
Good luck for your first AA meeting. If three is anything you want to ask about what to expect, please feel free to post questions. I'm an AAer and there are plenty of others here as well.
I'd also suggest having a good read of Dee's thread about making a plan... http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-plans-2.html
If yiu haven't a little money with you at the meeting, often there will be a literature stand. My personal recommendation would be the AA big book and Living Sober, which is a little book and an easy read - perfect for when I had early-sobriety-washing -machine-made. They're also available for Kindle by shopping online if you prefer to read that way.
Between meetings , I found the speaker tapes are good way to improve crease my understanding of the program, and immerse myself in my sobriety daily while I was getting my head round everything. There are lots in youtube, and loads and loads on this site... 5500+ AA Speakers & Tapes - Organized & Mobile-Friendly!
Likelihood is that some ladies at the meeting will give you their phone numbers. These are for you to call or text if you have any questions, but also to just get used to touching base with others in the fellowship. For example, it would be fine to text something along the lines of 'it was lovely to meet you at the meeting. Thanks for making me welcome. Struggling a little but I'm. ... / Getting on okay, and I'm. ... Hope to see you at the next meeting.' I only say this, because it took me a long time to suss out what people gave the numbers for, and when it was okay to contact. This meant I didn't make the most of the fellowship. As far as contact outside meetings is concerned, it is strongly recommended that men stick with men, and women stick with women (obviously more complicated it the case of gay and bisexual members of the fellowship - there are always grey areas aren't there). But, if men give you their numbers, it's probably best to lose them, even if you don't want to cause offense by refusing to take them. Our emotions can be all over the place in early sobriety and our alcoholism can kind of pop out sideways in other behaviour that we mistakenly think will offer us relief, so it does keep things much much simpler.
Anyway. Typically enough for me, that turned into a bit of a waffle. Sorry to go on lol.
Wishing you all the best in tackling you alcoholic drinking through sobriety, and your alcoholic thinking through recovery. BB
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 79
I notice others updating their original thread, and I find them inspiring and helpful, so I'm deciding to do that as well.
I've been on here every day since signing up, and posting on other peoples' threads and in the August class, and reading links and articles here.
I'm still in the early days. According to my Sober Time app, I've been sober for 5 days and 50 minutes
and I've saved $30. Although money isn't the reason I stopped, I must admit it is a nice plus!
I posted in some other threads about this, but wanted to put it here too, so if I come back and read I will remember. I was cleaning my room 2 nights ago and found 3 full beers in my suitcase. I had a second of "oh wow, nice find!" but snapped out of it quickly. I didn't really want them, because it would kill all the work I've done so far. 3 days at the time, and that might not seem like a lot, but that's 3 days I'd have to do over, and have the guilt and shame, and distrust in myself. I also knew if I started with 1, I'd have 2, then 3, then go buy a 12 pack. The AV is a liar, and I wasn't giving in. So I poured them out.
I kind of feel scared saying this, but I have not had a hard time at all so far. I feel scared because I know it's coming..the day it hits me hard, and the AV is screaming in my head. I'm thankful it's easy right now, but I am on guard for sure.
I've also been cigarette free for 5 days. Sometimes that feels harder to give up than drinking. Maybe because it was such a daily thing..the habit part. The "everything I do reminds me of smoking or wanting to" feeling. I wasn't a daily drinker, but a binge drinker, so it's sort of different in that way. But I have found a lot of this board helpful if I replace "alcohol" with "smoking/cigs".
Well I've rambled a lot. Here's to my first sober weekend in a long time. I'm looking forward to it
I've been on here every day since signing up, and posting on other peoples' threads and in the August class, and reading links and articles here.
I'm still in the early days. According to my Sober Time app, I've been sober for 5 days and 50 minutes
and I've saved $30. Although money isn't the reason I stopped, I must admit it is a nice plus!I posted in some other threads about this, but wanted to put it here too, so if I come back and read I will remember. I was cleaning my room 2 nights ago and found 3 full beers in my suitcase. I had a second of "oh wow, nice find!" but snapped out of it quickly. I didn't really want them, because it would kill all the work I've done so far. 3 days at the time, and that might not seem like a lot, but that's 3 days I'd have to do over, and have the guilt and shame, and distrust in myself. I also knew if I started with 1, I'd have 2, then 3, then go buy a 12 pack. The AV is a liar, and I wasn't giving in. So I poured them out.
I kind of feel scared saying this, but I have not had a hard time at all so far. I feel scared because I know it's coming..the day it hits me hard, and the AV is screaming in my head. I'm thankful it's easy right now, but I am on guard for sure.
I've also been cigarette free for 5 days. Sometimes that feels harder to give up than drinking. Maybe because it was such a daily thing..the habit part. The "everything I do reminds me of smoking or wanting to" feeling. I wasn't a daily drinker, but a binge drinker, so it's sort of different in that way. But I have found a lot of this board helpful if I replace "alcohol" with "smoking/cigs".
Well I've rambled a lot. Here's to my first sober weekend in a long time. I'm looking forward to it
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