Hopefull
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 275
So thankful to be me, but want to be you (if sober!)
Merry xmas y'all! Just checking in. Since my last check in I have had really really good days and really bad days. The last week or so has been a solid mix with the last few days being very good, but not where I want it to be. I knew I wanted to wait to quit until after the new year, but I've been trying to moderate like crazy, and some days it's doable and other days there's just too many resources at my hands. All I know, is by next Christmas I will not be a drinker any longer! I am NOT going to put pressure on myself until after the new year, which I know might be a ticking time bomb... But come January, I swear on my life I will be getting this s**t together. I've been reading a lot of personal blogs about people recovering and they seem to be helping more than the recovery books. Hopefully in 2016 you will be seeing a lot more of me and not with negative posts like my average. I can't wait to be sober! (Sober tonight btw) but hopefully I will be able to do this as a LIFESTYLE!
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Pinot ,
when i was moderating there was no moderation , i was immoderate .
In chatting on these forums we've kicked quitting around for a few years now , i hope we're not saying the same thing christmas 2016 .
After 10 years of procrastination, awful things happening and things slowly getting worse I started asking myself how many more years , months , weeks or days am i going to give up to this merry-go-round .
I knew i should quit but i didn't want to climb outside my shrinking self delusional bubble and deal with stuff .
I hope 2016 is the time for you and you can find out how great and liberating being truly sober and free from the drink life can be .
m
when i was moderating there was no moderation , i was immoderate .
In chatting on these forums we've kicked quitting around for a few years now , i hope we're not saying the same thing christmas 2016 .
After 10 years of procrastination, awful things happening and things slowly getting worse I started asking myself how many more years , months , weeks or days am i going to give up to this merry-go-round .
I knew i should quit but i didn't want to climb outside my shrinking self delusional bubble and deal with stuff .
I hope 2016 is the time for you and you can find out how great and liberating being truly sober and free from the drink life can be .
m
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
I do this type of thinking with everything I want to quit.
I feel ' safe' that I'm going to stop something in the near future.
Its just buying time really.
I hope you are successful! The sooner the better, there's not really a ' good time' to start
Xoxo
I feel ' safe' that I'm going to stop something in the near future.
Its just buying time really.
I hope you are successful! The sooner the better, there's not really a ' good time' to start
Xoxo
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,431
Wishing you good luck Pinot, but it does really sound like you are just
"buying time" as Jsbodhi suggests.
I've done it often as well, so no judgement, just observation--
I really hope 2016 is your year for finally quitting for good
"buying time" as Jsbodhi suggests.
I've done it often as well, so no judgement, just observation--
I really hope 2016 is your year for finally quitting for good
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
You can do this Pinot!!
"Lifestyle" really is the key word, and once I realised that was what I was trying to achieve rather than mere abstinence that was when the penny dropped, the reality being this new Sober lifestyle must be strong enough to get you through next Xmas Sober.
There's always going to be events, we just have to change things up to be a non drinker moving forward!!
"Lifestyle" really is the key word, and once I realised that was what I was trying to achieve rather than mere abstinence that was when the penny dropped, the reality being this new Sober lifestyle must be strong enough to get you through next Xmas Sober.
There's always going to be events, we just have to change things up to be a non drinker moving forward!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 275
Originally Posted by Purpleknight 
"Lifestyle" really is the key word, and once I realised that was what I was trying to achieve rather than mere abstinence that was when the penny dropped, the reality being this new Sober lifestyle must be strong enough to get you through next Xmas Sober.
There's always going to be events, we just have to change things up to be a non drinker moving forward!!
There's always going to be events, we just have to change things up to be a non drinker moving forward!!
"You're transforming yourself into someone who is certain to succeed."
Here's hoping!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,431
I totally get it Pinot--After my last relapse I was also
really tempted to put off quitting until after the "holiday season"
It is hard to quit during this time, but I knew it was just going to delay
what I knew I had to do anyway, and I might not quit when I said I would if I really got rolling.
So I bit the bullet and now have accumulated 39 sober days I wouldn't have if I
had given myself an extended deadline.
If you quit today, you will have nearly a full week of sobriety to begin the New Year with.
That means you'll be through most of the detox and other difficult symptoms and
really able to focus on building a better life right from January 1.
That's worth something.
Is getting drunk on New Years and the days between that important?
I know I would get so loaded on New Years I had to have a Bloody Mary
on New Years Day just to settle my headache and stomach ache.
Then I was off an running again. . .
Maybe that's just me, but it is a risk you are running.
Make that plan and weigh your options.
You're smart--you'll know what's best
really tempted to put off quitting until after the "holiday season"
It is hard to quit during this time, but I knew it was just going to delay
what I knew I had to do anyway, and I might not quit when I said I would if I really got rolling.
So I bit the bullet and now have accumulated 39 sober days I wouldn't have if I
had given myself an extended deadline.
If you quit today, you will have nearly a full week of sobriety to begin the New Year with.
That means you'll be through most of the detox and other difficult symptoms and
really able to focus on building a better life right from January 1.
That's worth something.
Is getting drunk on New Years and the days between that important?
I know I would get so loaded on New Years I had to have a Bloody Mary
on New Years Day just to settle my headache and stomach ache.
Then I was off an running again. . .
Maybe that's just me, but it is a risk you are running.
Make that plan and weigh your options.
You're smart--you'll know what's best
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 275
The title of this post is crap. I'm not hopeful, I'm hopeless. I don't think I can be helped. Even after only a few drinks last night I managed to cause a major problem in my family, and now today I just don't even want to exist. My family would be better off without me anyway. If im around they'll grow up with a drunk mom, who can't even figure out her own problems. I have acknowledged that I have a problem for 4 years now! FOUR freaking years!! And Here I am having the same damn problem that I had this week 4 years ago. I can't do this anymore. I can't pretend that I can figure this out, & I can't pretend that I actually will get this accomplished. I'm so over everything. Hello rock bottom. Here I am. Now what!? I give up.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Now what, is that you stop drinking, right now, today, this minute. That's a really good place to start. Get rid of the alcohol in the house if you can and work on coming up with a plan to stay sober. Look at what you can do.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
Quit.
Resolve right now to never again consume alcohol.
What makes you think you can't? <--that's rhetorical , I know what makes us think we can't, best choice for me ever was choosing not to listen to that kind of thinking , to stop letting the addiction do the thinking about drinking. You Can Choose to stop letting it do the thinking too. The doubt is It 'thinking 'you into believing the lie and perpetuating the cycle, break it , You Can
rootin for ya
Resolve right now to never again consume alcohol.
What makes you think you can't? <--that's rhetorical , I know what makes us think we can't, best choice for me ever was choosing not to listen to that kind of thinking , to stop letting the addiction do the thinking about drinking. You Can Choose to stop letting it do the thinking too. The doubt is It 'thinking 'you into believing the lie and perpetuating the cycle, break it , You Can
rootin for ya
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Anna's exactly right Pinot. You start right now. No one is destined or doomed to keep drinking, you have a choice just like all the rest of us did. You can accept that moderation will never be an option and not picking up the first drink is the solution to many of your woes. That is a choice you can make right now, this minute.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 275
I have no skills, no hobbies, no interests, no use. All I am is a mom and I don't even deserve to be that. My family deserve better. All I like to do is drink and I can't even do that properly. Why haven't I changed? Why can't I do what's best for me and my family? Maybe because I don't deserve one thing I have been given. If I can't fix my self for the people I love more then life itself then maybe I truly am hopeless. Seriously can't believe I'm putting us through this again... I make plan after plan and never follow through. I am 31 freaking years old. I can't imagine battling this for the rest of my life.
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