So thankful to be me, but want to be you (if sober!)
 

Merry xmas y'all! Just checking in. Since my last check in I have had really really good days and really bad days. The last week or so has been a solid mix with the last few days being very good, but not where I want it to be. I knew I wanted to wait to quit until after the new year, but I've been trying to moderate like crazy, and some days it's doable and other days there's just too many resources at my hands. All I know, is by next Christmas I will not be a drinker any longer! I am NOT going to put pressure on myself until after the new year, which I know might be a ticking time bomb... But come January, I swear on my life I will be getting this s**t together. I've been reading a lot of personal blogs about people recovering and they seem to be helping more than the recovery books. Hopefully in 2016 you will be seeing a lot more of me and not with negative posts like my average. I can't wait to be sober! (Sober tonight btw) but hopefully I will be able to do this as a LIFESTYLE!

Don't wait, the time will never be just right.

Thanks GhostFace! Sober tonight, hoping I'll make it through the new year... but so gosh darn determined after that.

This is a double post from me editing the title. Please ignore!

I'm hoping 2016 is the year that it "sticks" for you, PinotNoMore!:scoregood:grouphug:

You had two identical threads so I merged them.

I hope you can make this your turning point PNM.
Don't be afraid to try anything you can think of you help you stay in recovery.

D

Pinot ,
when i was moderating there was no moderation , i was immoderate .

In chatting on these forums we've kicked quitting around for a few years now , i hope we're not saying the same thing christmas 2016 .

After 10 years of procrastination, awful things happening and things slowly getting worse I started asking myself how many more years , months , weeks or days am i going to give up to this merry-go-round .
I knew i should quit but i didn't want to climb outside my shrinking self delusional bubble and deal with stuff .

I hope 2016 is the time for you and you can find out how great and liberating being truly sober and free from the drink life can be .

m

Why not get sober today? Why wait til new year's?

I do this type of thinking with everything I want to quit.
I feel ' safe' that I'm going to stop something in the near future.
Its just buying time really.
I hope you are successful! The sooner the better, there's not really a ' good time' to start
Xoxo

Have you got a plan

Wishing you good luck Pinot, but it does really sound like you are just
"buying time" as Jsbodhi suggests.
I've done it often as well, so no judgement, just observation--

I really hope 2016 is your year for finally quitting for good :)

You can do this Pinot!!

"Lifestyle" really is the key word, and once I realised that was what I was trying to achieve rather than mere abstinence that was when the penny dropped, the reality being this new Sober lifestyle must be strong enough to get you through next Xmas Sober.

There's always going to be events, we just have to change things up to be a non drinker moving forward!! :)

Today is an excellent day to stop drinking.

It does seem like I'm buying time after rereading my post. And for what? Who knows. And why do I think New Year's will be any different then every.other.deadline I've set over the years. I need to sit down and write out my plan. Then follow it. I'm feeling sort of low today, maybe the slow down after a busy week, maybe the insecurities of not knowing how to make this happen? I'm on vacation for another week, so I think not being home makes it hard for me to commit to anything. Maybe that's just another excuse. However, I did open a fortune cookie that was just sitting on the table this morning. It said:

"You're transforming yourself into someone who is certain to succeed."

Here's hoping!

I totally get it Pinot--After my last relapse I was also
really tempted to put off quitting until after the "holiday season"
It is hard to quit during this time, but I knew it was just going to delay
what I knew I had to do anyway, and I might not quit when I said I would if I really got rolling.

So I bit the bullet and now have accumulated 39 sober days I wouldn't have if I
had given myself an extended deadline.
If you quit today, you will have nearly a full week of sobriety to begin the New Year with.
That means you'll be through most of the detox and other difficult symptoms and
really able to focus on building a better life right from January 1.

That's worth something.
Is getting drunk on New Years and the days between that important?
I know I would get so loaded on New Years I had to have a Bloody Mary
on New Years Day just to settle my headache and stomach ache.
Then I was off an running again. . .

Maybe that's just me, but it is a risk you are running.
Make that plan and weigh your options.
You're smart--you'll know what's best :)

The title of this post is crap. I'm not hopeful, I'm hopeless. I don't think I can be helped. Even after only a few drinks last night I managed to cause a major problem in my family, and now today I just don't even want to exist. My family would be better off without me anyway. If im around they'll grow up with a drunk mom, who can't even figure out her own problems. I have acknowledged that I have a problem for 4 years now! FOUR freaking years!! And Here I am having the same damn problem that I had this week 4 years ago. I can't do this anymore. I can't pretend that I can figure this out, & I can't pretend that I actually will get this accomplished. I'm so over everything. Hello rock bottom. Here I am. Now what!? I give up.

Now what, is that you stop drinking, right now, today, this minute. That's a really good place to start. Get rid of the alcohol in the house if you can and work on coming up with a plan to stay sober. Look at what you can do.

Quit.
Resolve right now to never again consume alcohol.
What makes you think you can't? <--that's rhetorical , I know what makes us think we can't, best choice for me ever was choosing not to listen to that kind of thinking , to stop letting the addiction do the thinking about drinking. You Can Choose to stop letting it do the thinking too. The doubt is It 'thinking 'you into believing the lie and perpetuating the cycle, break it , You Can
rootin for ya

Anna's exactly right Pinot. You start right now. No one is destined or doomed to keep drinking, you have a choice just like all the rest of us did. You can accept that moderation will never be an option and not picking up the first drink is the solution to many of your woes. That is a choice you can make right now, this minute.

I have no skills, no hobbies, no interests, no use. All I am is a mom and I don't even deserve to be that. My family deserve better. All I like to do is drink and I can't even do that properly. Why haven't I changed? Why can't I do what's best for me and my family? Maybe because I don't deserve one thing I have been given. If I can't fix my self for the people I love more then life itself then maybe I truly am hopeless. Seriously can't believe I'm putting us through this again... I make plan after plan and never follow through. I am 31 freaking years old. I can't imagine battling this for the rest of my life.