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Really scared

Old 09-16-2015, 02:38 AM
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Unhappy Really scared

Hi everyone, how are you all? I'm here because, as the title suggests, I am really really scared. I drank 5 bottles of wine the other night (Five!!) and then had liver pain all day the next day. Swore to myself and to my partner and my Dad that I would stop. Then, two days later, I'm manipulating them into buying more wine for me. They both tried to stop me but I'm a little bit unstoppable once the urge is there.

I think my liver is hurting again and I'm frightened but I don't know if I can stop

I really need some kind of support system so here I am. I hope this works.
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Old 09-16-2015, 02:41 AM
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Hi and welcome to SR

you'll find a lot of support here - if you want change, this is a great place to help make it happen

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Old 09-16-2015, 03:08 AM
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Welcome, Scared! This is a great place to seek help
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Old 09-16-2015, 03:16 AM
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Welcome aboard. Check out the class of september thread to see lots of people who have started on a new day 1 and are treating this as a new beginning
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Old 09-16-2015, 03:16 AM
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Hi! Of course you can stop. Don't care to die, do you? Go see your doctor. It's amazing the help they can give.
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Old 09-16-2015, 04:02 AM
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Hi.
There are different ways to stop including continuing on the path which results in a miserable death.
Mu sober time started with getting honest with myself about MY drinking and accepting I cannot drink alcohol one day at a time in a row in safety. We need to want to stop and stay stopped instead of some wishy washy BS “I’m feeling bad so I’ll stop for now.” Then in a few days repeat the same insanity over and over again. I observed that alcohol is powerful, baffling, cunning and insidious, alcoholism is progressive and is always within us waiting for the next drinks.

This is a good place to get many good answers if we use them. A detox may be a good safe way to go also, so much depends on the individual.

A great life is waiting with achieving sobriety which requires work and change.

BE WELL
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Old 09-16-2015, 04:41 AM
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Welcome to SR, it's a good place to start the process of quitting.

You can do it. Don't drink today. Call your doctor to be checked out and for help quitting. I needed treatment when I started because I just couldn't go a day without drinking.

You'll do what you have to when you need to. Keep coming back.
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Old 09-16-2015, 05:41 AM
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Welcome to SR!
You can learn a lot here as well as get support. Stick around and keep reading and posting.
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Old 09-16-2015, 07:20 AM
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Hi everyone, it's lovely to meet you all. I'm going to go to my local AA meeting on Sunday and find out more about it and yes, I think speaking to the doctor is a good idea (terrifying though).

I hate that I've got myself in this state. I've been self medicating due to mental illness for a long time and at first it worked (or I thought it did) but now I know that it just makes things worse.

I'm fat, poor, unemployed and having liver pains at 28. This is not what I want out of life. I really want to be better. I don't want to end up just another dead drunk.
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Old 09-16-2015, 07:56 AM
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Originally Posted by IOAA2 View Post
Hi.
We need to want to stop and stay stopped instead of some wishy washy BS “I’m feeling bad so I’ll stop for now.” Then in a few days repeat the same insanity over and over again. I observed that alcohol is powerful, baffling, cunning and insidious, alcoholism is progressive and is always within us waiting for the next drinks.
A great life is waiting with achieving sobriety which requires work and change.
IOAA2 is right. The AV inside of us is always trying to convince us to have "just one", or worse yet, tries to convince us that drinking isn't so bad and we can live like that. It's wrong. We have to believe in ourselves that we will NEVER drink again, or the insanity will never end. We are more powerful than our AV, if we allow ourselves to be. It's a choice, and I choose to live. Happily. Sober.
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Old 09-16-2015, 08:02 AM
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Alcohol Voice?

I'm on Day 2 of quitting (recovering/sobering up/whatever you want to call it) and I've never done this before. I've done the whole 'cutting down for a while' thing which never lasted as long as I wanted it to because I cant cut down, I cant just have a drink and then go home. It has never been like that for me so I need to stop completely.

I want to be able to be proud of myself.
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Old 09-16-2015, 08:30 AM
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Hi Scared, and welcome! I've been where you are, so I totally relate. It's scary when you've never tried to get sober before and don't know where to start. Everyone has an Addictive Voice. It's that little voice inside of you that overrides any logic or desire to stop drinking. It's any thinking that supports or suggests the possible future use of alcohol . Once an addict, you can NEVER go back to moderating, because you eventually slide. It's inevitable. You CAN be proud of yourself. For some people, AA works, so I encourage you to look into meetings. They're faith-based, so they're not for everyone. My choice was Rational Recovery using the AVRT (Addictive Voice Recognition Technique) program. It's not a program, really, just a different way of looking at the addiction and how to overcome it. On the website there's a free crash course which worked for me. But like I said, everyone is different and you should explore different options to see what works for you. And us here at SR are always willing to give support, guidance, and suggestions anytime. :-)
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Old 09-16-2015, 11:29 AM
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You can do whatever you want to do, if you mind set is right. Liver pains? That is possible, and that is kind of scary when you are that young. Visiting a Dr/clinic and be honest and they will order simple blood tests to see what is/might be going on. It could be nothing. It could be cramps from drinking all those booze. But it could be something more.

You can always do things to better yourself. Exercise, eating better, drinking more water, going to yearly DR visits, educating yourself, empowering yourself, you can do a lot for yourself if you just make yourself do it. I suggest taking it slow. Try drinking a few glasses of water when you wake up to kickstart your internal organs. Remember you havent hydrated yourself since you went to sleep (and sounds like you further dehydrate yourself by drinking alcohol). Have a nutritious breakfast. Have a hard boiled egg, some toast, and a banana or orange (its hard especially if you are like me and like Trix, or sausage and egg sandwiches from McDonalds- yum) but just try. For lunch try a salad with chicken, or even steak- heck- just get some veggies slowly incorporated into your diet. Drink more water throughout the day.

Find something you like doing, and learn more about it. Read "Such and Such Book for Dummies" I like that series because it isnt in depth but it could give you an idea if you WANT to learn those things.

Just try to improve yourself, slowly, and good things will happen. But most importantly, but down the booze. Fill your NEW time with something you enjoy. I love to cook, so I find a few elaborate meals a week to cook. If you like to bake.

You can do it, just put your mind to it, and take that first plunge. It'll be hard, yes, but it is so worth it.
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Old 09-16-2015, 12:28 PM
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Welcome to SR!

The good news is, you don't have to drink anymore, and you don't have to feel as miserable as I'm sure you were after 5 bottles of wine.

The not so good news, is that long term sobriety doesn't usually just fall in your lap. You have to work at it. And you need an action plan. That plan can be individualized to you, or you can try more of a group approach such as AA.

A good first step is to spend hours and hours on this website over the next couple of weeks reading and learning everything you can.
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Old 09-16-2015, 12:34 PM
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Hi scared Please join us on the Class of September thread. My new day 1 was Monday. I am glad you are here
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Old 09-16-2015, 12:55 PM
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Glad you posted.

Think about how you feel right now and remember it. From my personal experience, remembering the state I was in when I got sober reminds my why I should not drink again. I, too, had abdominal pain and a few other physical maladies that scared me. I also had many maladies of the mind and spirit.

Today, I don't have to worry about that anymore. The pain is gone from my body, and a whole host of mental and emotional pain is beginning to heal. You can find healing, too. It's right there in front of you, and with the right plan you can begin to heal. As long as you keep drinking, you don't have much hope of finding healing.

Try finding some accountability and whatever help you need to be sober, whether it is professional medical help or the help of friends. This is a good place to start, and today is a good day to start.
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Old 09-16-2015, 12:58 PM
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Welcome to SR. Nice to meet you
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Old 09-16-2015, 01:39 PM
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Welcome to the Forum Scaredikklegoth!!
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Old 09-16-2015, 02:27 PM
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Welcome Scared. A lot of good advice here already. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for and stronger than your excuses to drink.

The good news is with some hard work, determination and will power you can get your life back. Come up with a plan, stick around here or any other recovery source that you have, and remind yourself every day why you aren't drinking today. Absolutely nothing good will come from an alcoholic having another drink.

You can turn your life back in the direction you want.

Lean on us, we are here for each other.
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Old 09-17-2015, 01:36 AM
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Awww, thank so much for the support everyone. I keep thinking my liver hurts again but I'm not sure if it does. I have GAD (generalised anxiety disorder) which means sometimes it's hard to tell whether I'm being rational or not. My partner says he thinks it's more likely my **TMI warning** lady times doing it as I suffer with them a lot. Either way, I am so freaked out right now that the thought of having a drink is giving me palpitations and making me feel sick.

At least I'm not craving it yet.
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