Stupid Christmas...
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Stupid Christmas...
Perhaps it's the holidays. I really have no idea. Suddenly...I just want to throw in the towel.
I want to smoke ...
I want to drink ...
I'm tired of this process.
I really hate Christmas.
I want to smoke ...
I want to drink ...
I'm tired of this process.
I really hate Christmas.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Christmas can be a really frustrating time.....
I remember when I was really struggling with it one year. The little girl across the street asked me where my lights were and I gruffly said something like "BAH HUMBUG".
Then I saw the stricken look in her eyes as she said "But, Mister....you HAVE to have Christmas lights.... it's.... CHRISTMAS".
That little girl touched my heart and gave me back a reconnection to my Christmas spirit. As recently as an hour ago I was kind of loathing Christmas too, as i panic-shopped and dealt with traffic and felt stressed and overwhelmed and as I dealt with some family crap already starting to emerge....
But then I can back off and take a breath and realize that I DO love the Christmas lights. I DO love the excitement my kids have and the fact that they wake up and put on their elf hats and get thrilled about their Elves on the shelf and I can be grateful to see the part about people thinking about gratitude and kindness....
It's my choice, really, whether Christmas sucks.
When I choose that it sucks, I've found that it definitely sucks a lot more than when I choose that Christmas has some magic to it.
hang in there Nuu..... don't drink, don't smoke....
I remember when I was really struggling with it one year. The little girl across the street asked me where my lights were and I gruffly said something like "BAH HUMBUG".
Then I saw the stricken look in her eyes as she said "But, Mister....you HAVE to have Christmas lights.... it's.... CHRISTMAS".
That little girl touched my heart and gave me back a reconnection to my Christmas spirit. As recently as an hour ago I was kind of loathing Christmas too, as i panic-shopped and dealt with traffic and felt stressed and overwhelmed and as I dealt with some family crap already starting to emerge....
But then I can back off and take a breath and realize that I DO love the Christmas lights. I DO love the excitement my kids have and the fact that they wake up and put on their elf hats and get thrilled about their Elves on the shelf and I can be grateful to see the part about people thinking about gratitude and kindness....
It's my choice, really, whether Christmas sucks.
When I choose that it sucks, I've found that it definitely sucks a lot more than when I choose that Christmas has some magic to it.
hang in there Nuu..... don't drink, don't smoke....
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Thanks FreeO....wish I had some kids...or a partner...
Ya see...Christmas seems to be the time where one can REALLY convince themselves that those things are necessary for happiness...
It so effin' easy to throw a pity party during the holidays...
Ya see...Christmas seems to be the time where one can REALLY convince themselves that those things are necessary for happiness...
It so effin' easy to throw a pity party during the holidays...
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Berlin
Posts: 9
Nuudawn,
think you should allow yourself to experience those emotions if that's how your feeling now. Certainly doesn't mean you need to jeopardize your sobriety.
'I feel lousy, so what'.
Be gentle with yourself
think you should allow yourself to experience those emotions if that's how your feeling now. Certainly doesn't mean you need to jeopardize your sobriety.
'I feel lousy, so what'.
Be gentle with yourself
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Originally Posted by Tums 
Nuudawn,
think you should allow yourself to experience those emotions if that's how your feeling now. Certainly doesn't mean you need to jeopardize your sobriety.
'I feel lousy, so what'.
Be gentle with yourself
think you should allow yourself to experience those emotions if that's how your feeling now. Certainly doesn't mean you need to jeopardize your sobriety.
'I feel lousy, so what'.
Be gentle with yourself
It's the "addict" in me who is wanting to change the way I feel...
It's the "addict" who doesn't want to tolerate these emotions..
Thank you... you are exactly right. I need to allow myself the grace..to feel.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Hey girl 
Not necessary. I guess it's just something about why traditions evolved in human history in general.
Maybe my memory is wrong but... don't you live with your sister, who is also in recovery? If so, couldn't you guys do something cool together at Christmas?
Christmas seems to be the time where one can REALLY convince themselves that those things are necessary for happiness...
Maybe my memory is wrong but... don't you live with your sister, who is also in recovery? If so, couldn't you guys do something cool together at Christmas?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Nuu.... this would be a fantastic time to just practice acceptance. Tums has a great point!
It's OK to feel glum. That's human!! It's also something to be grateful for. Believe it or not.... we can actually be THANKFUL for being sad. Or frustrated. Or even angry.
You might want to pick up a booked called Start Where You Are.... Pema Chodron. I'm reading it now and it's been really helpful in working with acceptance and allowing myself simply to experience my emotions - 'good' or 'bad'.
There is both 'good' and 'bad' with a partner, or with children. Christmas can engender lousy feelings even with those - TRUST ME!!!!
You can allow yourself those feelings, and you can also go for a walk and look at Christmas lights.... you can look for people smiling.... you can summon a smile or a kind word yourself and you can witness the simple magic of that smile or kind word to make you feel a piece of positivity even in your glumness.
It's OK to feel glum. That's human!! It's also something to be grateful for. Believe it or not.... we can actually be THANKFUL for being sad. Or frustrated. Or even angry.
You might want to pick up a booked called Start Where You Are.... Pema Chodron. I'm reading it now and it's been really helpful in working with acceptance and allowing myself simply to experience my emotions - 'good' or 'bad'.
There is both 'good' and 'bad' with a partner, or with children. Christmas can engender lousy feelings even with those - TRUST ME!!!!
You can allow yourself those feelings, and you can also go for a walk and look at Christmas lights.... you can look for people smiling.... you can summon a smile or a kind word yourself and you can witness the simple magic of that smile or kind word to make you feel a piece of positivity even in your glumness.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Christmas is just another day to get through .
Today is just another day to get through .
No need to rush in and throw away your hard won sober time … the drink will still be there in one months time … in two and you ono exactly what it will be like and where it will led …
You don't know what being sober for another 3 weeks , 6 weeks or 9 will be like ..
I like the odds of something better happening if i stay sober .. I stay sober ..
hope you do too Nu .
m
Today is just another day to get through .
No need to rush in and throw away your hard won sober time … the drink will still be there in one months time … in two and you ono exactly what it will be like and where it will led …
You don't know what being sober for another 3 weeks , 6 weeks or 9 will be like ..
I like the odds of something better happening if i stay sober .. I stay sober ..
hope you do too Nu .
m
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 2,459
Christmas is a time of reflection and getting ready for the promised renewal of the coming new year. Ignore all the materialism and sappy movies that tell you that you need a partner and/or kids. Enjoy the lights and color and know it will only be 24 hours and then it's the 26th! Another day, another (Nuu)dawn to be thankful for for your health and sobriety. Hang in there GF!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas
Posts: 1,736
Originally Posted by Tums
Nuudawn,
think you should allow yourself to experience those emotions if that's how your feeling now. Certainly doesn't mean you need to jeopardize your sobriety.
'I feel lousy, so what'.
Be gentle with yourself
think you should allow yourself to experience those emotions if that's how your feeling now. Certainly doesn't mean you need to jeopardize your sobriety.
'I feel lousy, so what'.
Be gentle with yourself
Feel those feelings for as long as you need to. Sometimes it's our job to just sit in the poop of life & eat cookies. Only after sitting can you get up & move on thru.
I need ya here, Nu. You ARE a gift to me & my sobriety.
Xoxo, Sweetie Darling.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 985
I was intending to do Christmas alone (well, with the pup), but a crisis sent my adult daughter to Alaska to heal (emotionally and physically) in my quiet little house in my quiet little forest.
It was completely unexpected and generated a whole whirlwind of "stuff"; I've lived mostly alone these last five years, and am now sharing my small space for an indefinite period with a being whom I love deeply but have had some challenges with in the past (because mothers and daughters have challenges...).
What is wonderful is that we are both new to each other; I've visited her a number of times over these last years, but it's just a glimpse here and there, whereas this is a 24/7 situation - the kind where you talk late into the night and really experience each other.
Her blow-out had to do with alcohol, so I'm having the extraordinary gift of being available to support her in early sobriety. I'm able to take her to meetings and introduce her to others who can connect with her and support her in different ways. I don't know if she'll choose a forever abstinence, or will just heal and recover and make some healthy changes in her lifestyle, but whatever she does will be a growing.
So, my alone holiday just became something entirely different. I'm excited to be with her, but have actually come to love the alone Christmas in these last few years, so have a teeny sense of loss. I love the quiet, the snow falling, doing yoga in the cozy house while snow whirls outside, buying myself presents, eating yummy food, chanting and praying. It has become increasingly special as I develop new rituals that are meaningful to me.
I was sober last Christmas also.
My only advice would be to create the day for yourself.
As humans, we need ritual in our lives. We need the opportunity to look forward to things, to have markers of cycles.
One of the reasons that holidays with family have so much meaning IS because of the layers of family ritual, developed over time.
The universe sends us people as we are ready to receive them. I feel like my daughter came to me right now because I was ready to deal with some of our old issues now, and wasn't before.
So - we just need to remember that people appear in our lives when they should, and that honoring this season and these days held up as "special" can take all sort of artistic and personal forms.
There's a prayer that has helped me through so much -
God, thank you for all you have given me. God, thank you for all you have not given me. God, thank you for all you have taken away.
That's how I feel about this Christmas...
It was completely unexpected and generated a whole whirlwind of "stuff"; I've lived mostly alone these last five years, and am now sharing my small space for an indefinite period with a being whom I love deeply but have had some challenges with in the past (because mothers and daughters have challenges...).
What is wonderful is that we are both new to each other; I've visited her a number of times over these last years, but it's just a glimpse here and there, whereas this is a 24/7 situation - the kind where you talk late into the night and really experience each other.
Her blow-out had to do with alcohol, so I'm having the extraordinary gift of being available to support her in early sobriety. I'm able to take her to meetings and introduce her to others who can connect with her and support her in different ways. I don't know if she'll choose a forever abstinence, or will just heal and recover and make some healthy changes in her lifestyle, but whatever she does will be a growing.
So, my alone holiday just became something entirely different. I'm excited to be with her, but have actually come to love the alone Christmas in these last few years, so have a teeny sense of loss. I love the quiet, the snow falling, doing yoga in the cozy house while snow whirls outside, buying myself presents, eating yummy food, chanting and praying. It has become increasingly special as I develop new rituals that are meaningful to me.
I was sober last Christmas also.
My only advice would be to create the day for yourself.
As humans, we need ritual in our lives. We need the opportunity to look forward to things, to have markers of cycles.
One of the reasons that holidays with family have so much meaning IS because of the layers of family ritual, developed over time.
The universe sends us people as we are ready to receive them. I feel like my daughter came to me right now because I was ready to deal with some of our old issues now, and wasn't before.
So - we just need to remember that people appear in our lives when they should, and that honoring this season and these days held up as "special" can take all sort of artistic and personal forms.
There's a prayer that has helped me through so much -
God, thank you for all you have given me. God, thank you for all you have not given me. God, thank you for all you have taken away.
That's how I feel about this Christmas...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Strailya
Posts: 8,023
Hey Nu
Yes, I agree with Mech. Christmas is another day for us to enjoy as a day and nothing more. Try to see through all the hypocrisy of goodwill and cheer enthusiastically expressed by those folks who only practice such for 2 weeks of the year.
Yes, I agree with Mech. Christmas is another day for us to enjoy as a day and nothing more. Try to see through all the hypocrisy of goodwill and cheer enthusiastically expressed by those folks who only practice such for 2 weeks of the year.
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