GreenEggsAndHam

I don't talk a lot about my back pain but I have chronic pain and problems with my back and many times I've just drank over it. Enough to numb it and black out and not have to deal with it. It's been pretty bad lately and it's wearing me out.

And I had a bad fall yesterday and messed up my knee and shoulder.

Last night I discovered a lump in my breast and am really worried. Now with all of this combined I can't stop crying and am feeling really sorry for myself.

I made the decision this morning to stop taking my meds (antabuse and anxiety med) because I don't like how they make me drowsy but I'm nervous that my real reasoning is so I can drink.

I'm an emotional mess today and wanted to get it out. Thanks for letting me share.

kadidee

Green eggs, I'm sorry you're having to deal with all that, and good on you for posting and getting it out. Hang in there. You can do this. Make an appt to see about the lump--it will make you feel better to know what it is. Thinking of you.

neferkamichael

GreenEggsAndHam, rootin for ya.

lovemesomeokra

Sorry about your fall and your pain, that sounds miserable. Drinking won't make it better, but you already know that. In fact, it will make it worse, but you already know that, too. Please see a doctor asap about the lump in your breast. Most of the time by far they are benign but you need to know asap. As for your decision to stop taking meds, it's yours to make but it's VERY risky to stop taking anxiety meds without consulting your doc. Cold turkey on those babies can have serious repercussions. I hope you reconsider and at least talk to a doc before you commit to stopping taking them. Lotsa people here care about you, Green, don't forget that. We're right here, glad you posted.

resolute50

Hi GE&H.

Are you sure it's a wise decision to stop those meds?
Perhaps you should talk with your doc first.
Don't freak out about things,just get checked out.

I've seen you on these boards a lot helping other folks with good advice.
You've been doing quite well. Don't let a couple set backs put you down.

adee

I'm sorry you are in so much pain and overwhelmed. Respectfully - please consider talking to your doctro before discontinuing your meds, especially if you have an inkling that it's an end run from your AV to allow you to drink.

The only thing you can do is the next thing - make an appt with your doctor. You will feel better doing something.

Hang in there. You are doing so well. This is one of those things that will make you that much stronger having gotten through sober. You can do it.

songthread

I'm wishing you the best GE&H, you're in my thoughts and prayers. Please consider taking your medication that you and your doctor have agreed on.

GreenEggsAndHam

Thanks everyone. I have an appt with my therapist tomorrow and a doctor on Wed for my back issues. Calling this morning about the lump.

I'm just tired of always having something physically wrong with me and being in pain. Hoping the lump is nothing but it's very worrisome as my sister had cancer.

BruceSA

Hi GEAH,

Keep strong and pace yourself. One thing at a time. You've been really supportive in your posts and I hope everything goes well for you.

All the best,

Bruce.

LBrain

HI green eggs and ham - yummy!

I don't wish to detract from your woes so I won't tell you all about mine. But I'm struggling with things as are many others. Our kind somehow seem to have many issues. ?

Keep up the good spirit you convey to all of us. You are so positive to everyone and I know you have brought a sense of joy to some of us. So right back at you. You go girl!

I have 2 bits of advice:
1) Confer with a medical professional about your meds before you just stop.
2) Shave that mustache and trim those eyebrows. I'm sure there is a pretty girl in the somewhere.

Mrsbee

Will be praying and sending positive energy your way! Keep your chin up

deeker

Call your sponsor asap. tell them all those thoughts going on, the relapse has already happened in your mind.

Your trigger was the pain. The pain triggered those thoughts in your head. Next you may act out on those thoughts.
The relapse happens long before we pick up.

You have to squash them thoughts, that is when we have to stop the momentum of the relapse.


We always have an opportunity to stop that relapse at thoughts and usually days earlier . We never just pick up.

trigger, thoughts, obsession, pick up.

Stop at thoughts.

Anna

Do talk to your dr about stopping the medication you are taking. I have to deal with anxiety too and I know that health issues sometimes scare me too much. Try to take a step back from the situation and breathe for a few minutes.

LBrain

Just curious, geah, have you been getting regular mammograms?
No need to answer. Just curious for your sake.

aasharon90

Knowing that you never have to be alone
or go thru anything in life alone ever again
is extremely comforting. Coming here to
share your struggles is to be commended.
It takes courage to reach out for help.

With a few yrs sober I recall noticing a lump
as well and began to worry. I did make my
appointment and had test done with news to
wait for the results. Happily it was just a
cysts.

It was comforting to know all they had to
do was insert a needle to puncture it and
drain the fluid. That procedure I was able
to watch on the ultra sound screen as I
watched the mass shrink smaller and smaller
as the fluid was drained.

They told me in the beginning that as long
as the mass was movable and not hard then
it was more than likely a cysts. Then the
procedure confirmed their thoughts of what
it actually was.

When I say moveable, it will float around
and not be hard and solid. So you may not
have much to worry about if you check
for urself till ur appointment.

It will be okay as you stay strong in faith
and recovery and allow others to guide you
alone.

GreenEggsAndHam

Thank you all for the kind words.

I took my meds today and will talk over how I'm feeling with the therapist tomorrow. Will call my sponsor today too.

Been wanting a drink lately to numb out.

No, I am supposed to be but it's something I've always put off. I'll (obviously now) be doing that asap.

Holli

I know the lump is scary, been there myself, but please keep in mind that the vast majority are benign conditions. They may want to do a baseline mammogram, but I think you'll be sent in for a sonogram first. Let us know how it goes.

Dee74

I know dealing with health issues can be terrifying but drinking just makes everything worse GEAH - both your heath and the worry.

The right thing to do for all your concerns is to see a Dr, so I'm really glad you're doing that.

I had a bad year health wise last year...it seemed neverending but I got through it. I know you will too

Wishing you the best - lean on us, not the bottle

D

BruceSA

Hello GEAH,

Any news? How did it go with the doctor and the reduction of the medication? Hope you're feeling better.

Keep strong, please.

Don't let the sneaky booze try and persuade you.

All the best,

Bruce.

AZliving

GEAH,

I too suffer from chronic back pain. I did my research, since my Dr. said he could do nothing else for my pain. I found that Ginger Root 550mg taken three capsules in the morning, and three capsules at night help reduce my inflammation and pain in my back. I no longer have to go to the pain institute for epidural cortizone shots....Just take my Ginger Root capsules daily. It is not expensive at the vitamin shops or even Walmart.

It is worth a try, since I did the same - I used to drink to numb the pain. Oh and I did run it by my Daughter - she is a Pharmacist...she says there are new studies ongoing about Ginger Root being an inflammation reducer.

IT truly has changed my pain level. Hope this information helps...and hang in there. I'm keeping you in my prayers.