Do i really have a problem?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Newcastle
Posts: 10
Do i really have a problem?
I am a 24 year old male with a wife to be and a 5 and a half moth old child.
I joined on this forum after lurking for some time to ask this question.
Do I have a problem with alcohol?
I don't have an issue as in I don't drink everyday, but I think maybe my circumstances have stopped me from doing so e.g work and son.
however when I get the chance to go out I cannot seem to have a moderate drink! I literally drink and drink and end up doing something I regret and hate myself for most the time. the follow 3 days are the beer blues where I say I need to change (use my age as an excuse for the slip ups, as in only young once etc) then 4thday comes around or next chance to drink I do the same again.
I lost my mother in October just gone, and since then I feel self destructive expecially with a beer in my hand. I am never abusive to my partner or anything just seem to drink to total excess!
I live in Newcastle upon tyne in England, can anyone recommend someone to speak to or a group to join as I stayed sober for the whole of January but feel like I have regressed 100 fold!
thanks
TJ
I joined on this forum after lurking for some time to ask this question.
Do I have a problem with alcohol?
I don't have an issue as in I don't drink everyday, but I think maybe my circumstances have stopped me from doing so e.g work and son.
however when I get the chance to go out I cannot seem to have a moderate drink! I literally drink and drink and end up doing something I regret and hate myself for most the time. the follow 3 days are the beer blues where I say I need to change (use my age as an excuse for the slip ups, as in only young once etc) then 4thday comes around or next chance to drink I do the same again.
I lost my mother in October just gone, and since then I feel self destructive expecially with a beer in my hand. I am never abusive to my partner or anything just seem to drink to total excess!
I live in Newcastle upon tyne in England, can anyone recommend someone to speak to or a group to join as I stayed sober for the whole of January but feel like I have regressed 100 fold!
thanks
TJ
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Welcome to Sober Recovery
Sounds like a problem to me if you can't stop drinking once you start. Doesn't it to you?
Want someone to talk to in your area?
Regional & Local Websites (new) | Members | Alcoholics Anonymous (Great Britain) Ltd
Originally Posted by SeemFine 
however when I get the chance to go out I cannot seem to have a moderate drink! I literally drink and drink and end up doing something I regret and hate myself for most the time.TJ
Want someone to talk to in your area?
Regional & Local Websites (new) | Members | Alcoholics Anonymous (Great Britain) Ltd
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Washington
Posts: 99
Only you know for sure if you have a problem... but you're on here (Welcome by the way) for a reason.... I'd say it's a problem if you feel it is, and by the sound of your post... I don't think if it wasn't a problem you would be feeling guilty (beer blues) and beating yourself up, or wishing you didn't drink so much... You're in a great place to start right here... and I'd look for some AA meetings.
Very sorry to hear about your mom.
If I could throw my 2 cents out there, if you're really wondering if you have a problem, at least try staying sober while you figure it out. Good luck.
Very sorry to hear about your mom.
If I could throw my 2 cents out there, if you're really wondering if you have a problem, at least try staying sober while you figure it out. Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Washington
Posts: 99
I have only been to 4 AA meetings, and it was hard to walk through the door the first time.... and I only have been to the same meeting, so I don't have a well rounded experience of AA. Most of our meetings we've read from the Big Book and then it's opened up to people sharing stories... some I can relate to, others not but I find a lot of little bits of information and help that I can apply to my own challenges of sobriety.... I haven't shared or spoken and nobody has put any pressure on me to do so...
I think it's a great help.
I think it's a great help.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,067
AA meetings last about an hour. People share their experience, strength and hope to solve their common problem of alcoholism.
There are many threads here devoted to discussing AA--for example:
Alcoholism-12 Step Support - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Secular 12 Step Recovery - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ast-night.html
There are many threads here devoted to discussing AA--for example:
Alcoholism-12 Step Support - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Secular 12 Step Recovery - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ast-night.html
Doing Business Since 11/3/2012
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,143
Welcome. Problem or not, I am to the point where I see alcohol as just bad in every way. It's just unhealthy as hell, even if we don't get smashed. So bad for the liver. Took me 25 years of over doing it to get to this point. At 24, good for you to be evaluating your drinking. My drinking got much worse when we had kids, the added stress, etc. Even long before I became a daily drinker, I could never have just one. Even from the time I was 18 years old. I can tell you that never changes, never gets better, and is impossible to ever control. I finally just gave up hoping that some day I wouldn't 'always want just one more'. Good luck and welcome. This is a great place.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: ON
Posts: 766
walk thru that door and you will not regret it.
I think that if you are searching the internet for an answer to if you are an alocholic then perhaps you are a potential alcoholic.
If you have a young child now is the perfect time to learn how to accept the fact, as that in itslef is abit of a process. It was for me anyway.
You can do it.
I think that if you are searching the internet for an answer to if you are an alocholic then perhaps you are a potential alcoholic.
If you have a young child now is the perfect time to learn how to accept the fact, as that in itslef is abit of a process. It was for me anyway.
You can do it.
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,169
Haway, Seemsfine, you live in a tough neck of the woods for the drinking mentality. My personal criteria for whether I had a problem, was asking myself if I could imagine life without. I just couldn't. My hubby on the other hand? 'I'd be a bit pissed off, but wouldn't be the end of the world' you are young enough to have a fantastic future, especially with your young family. Ask yourself what really matters to you. And then I recommend going to your GP and asking if he can arrange some bereavement counselling, as I feel you are a little stuck on how to deal with your loss. Geordie men don't cry do they? Unless they lose to Sunderland at home! ( or if you are from the stadium of light; those Magpies sneak one in offside!)
I make light, but my support is sincere, I feel you have the desire and the ability to make the right changes, now, before drink really takes charge. And help is definitely out these if you look. And stick around here, we're pretty ok to hang out with.
I make light, but my support is sincere, I feel you have the desire and the ability to make the right changes, now, before drink really takes charge. And help is definitely out these if you look. And stick around here, we're pretty ok to hang out with.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
Welcome to the SR family. 
I recommend trying some AA meetings. Go to at least several to see how you like them. Each meeting is different so go until you find one you like that fits with you.
It is possible to stop drinking, it just takes some effort. You're smart to get this under control at a young age. Wish I'd been that smart at your age.
I recommend trying some AA meetings. Go to at least several to see how you like them. Each meeting is different so go until you find one you like that fits with you.It is possible to stop drinking, it just takes some effort. You're smart to get this under control at a young age. Wish I'd been that smart at your age.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,514
It is hard to accept that we've crossed the line to alcoholism and to know that there is no return. But, if you look around here, you will see that we can succeed in recovery and live happy lives.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
I lost my mom at 33. Alcohol became my dealing tool.
Please attack your grief for your mom. Ask for help and therapy. Nothing to be shamed about.
You are young, please don't follow my path, I am nearly destroyed at 39. I know the pain of loosing a mom. But Booze will get you no where.
Good luck and stay positive!
Please attack your grief for your mom. Ask for help and therapy. Nothing to be shamed about.
You are young, please don't follow my path, I am nearly destroyed at 39. I know the pain of loosing a mom. But Booze will get you no where.
Good luck and stay positive!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
welcome!!! Get yourself to a meeting and take control of this thing before it gets control of you!!
You really are blessed in the situation you describe. You're not yet fully 'in the grips' of it and you have the clarity to be concerned....
Your wife to be, your son and most of all YOU will be spared a lot of agony if you choose to take another path and opt for sobriety.
It really is the better option..... and that I say from the perspective of a guy who was once at that point you are but lacked the awareness or honesty to recognize and take action toward the problem. I can tell you that it never got 'better', only worse and worse.
Don't be nervous or afraid of AA, it is a great community and though you will doubtless find some elements at first that don't align with your own views or make you wonder whether it's really 'for you' - I urge you to go with an openness to consider what gifts it may offer you and a willingness to give it a fair shot.
You really are blessed in the situation you describe. You're not yet fully 'in the grips' of it and you have the clarity to be concerned....
Your wife to be, your son and most of all YOU will be spared a lot of agony if you choose to take another path and opt for sobriety.
It really is the better option..... and that I say from the perspective of a guy who was once at that point you are but lacked the awareness or honesty to recognize and take action toward the problem. I can tell you that it never got 'better', only worse and worse.
Don't be nervous or afraid of AA, it is a great community and though you will doubtless find some elements at first that don't align with your own views or make you wonder whether it's really 'for you' - I urge you to go with an openness to consider what gifts it may offer you and a willingness to give it a fair shot.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
Two things stood out in your post.
First, you said that drinking gets in the way of work and time with your son.
Second, you said that when you go out, you just can't stop at one or two drinks, and end up doing things you regret.
Those are definitely signs that you have a drinking problem. I would suggest going to AA meetings if you haven't already done so, and look into hooking up with an addiction counselor, and, of course, reading the posts on SR. These things might give you a more realistic perception of your situation. Good luck!
First, you said that drinking gets in the way of work and time with your son.
Second, you said that when you go out, you just can't stop at one or two drinks, and end up doing things you regret.
Those are definitely signs that you have a drinking problem. I would suggest going to AA meetings if you haven't already done so, and look into hooking up with an addiction counselor, and, of course, reading the posts on SR. These things might give you a more realistic perception of your situation. Good luck!
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Good for you for coming here! What you describe is binge drinking, and yes, it is a form of alcoholism.
I am not familiar with your area but I certainly hope you find help and deal with this!
Good Luck and God Bless!
I am not familiar with your area but I certainly hope you find help and deal with this!
Good Luck and God Bless!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by 2muchpain
Two things stood out in your post.
First, you said that drinking gets in the way of work and time with your son.
Second, you said that when you go out, you just can't stop at one or two drinks, and end up doing things you regret.
Those are definitely signs that you have a drinking problem. I would suggest going to AA meetings if you haven't already done so, and look into hooking up with an addiction counselor, and, of course, reading the posts on SR. These things might give you a more realistic perception of your situation. Good luck!
First, you said that drinking gets in the way of work and time with your son.
Second, you said that when you go out, you just can't stop at one or two drinks, and end up doing things you regret.
Those are definitely signs that you have a drinking problem. I would suggest going to AA meetings if you haven't already done so, and look into hooking up with an addiction counselor, and, of course, reading the posts on SR. These things might give you a more realistic perception of your situation. Good luck!
Sounds like he's at least at a place in his addictive journey that he still has the ability to keep his priorities in order.
for now.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: De
Posts: 1,333
Here is the link to the pamphlet 'Is AA for You'. It has 12 questions to ask yourself.
http://www.aa.org/pdf/products/p-3_isaaforyou.pdf
http://www.aa.org/pdf/products/p-3_isaaforyou.pdf
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Newcastle
Posts: 10
Thanks for your replies!!! Great comfort to hear hour opinions and thoughts. I am going to book an app with my doctor about grief councilling and also explain my drink binging to him.
Thankfully i have been able to open up to my partner who would like me to try and not to drink again which gives me a clear path. I wish i could fast forward 3 month without drink.haha
Thankfully i have been able to open up to my partner who would like me to try and not to drink again which gives me a clear path. I wish i could fast forward 3 month without drink.haha
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