New to Recovery....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 344
New to Recovery....
So,
quick intro. I'm a 31 year old lawyer who has always had a problem with alcohol - quitting alcohol and drugs years ago was easy.
Been to rehab once. Thought I could 'moderate' my drinking, and it's just reached the point where I hate who I've become and what my life has become.
My fiancee came home to find me passed out having drank three bottles of wine.
I'm losing days and I don't want to lose my health.
Tomorrow will be my first time going to AA in a very long time. I just wanted to be 'normal'. But If I don't stop I will die. My LFT's are all normal (as of a month ago) but this bender was worse then the last ones and I'm absolutely terrified.
My fiancee finally believes me when I tell him I'm an alcoholic. He always tried to convince me I was just a heavy drinker before. I don't think it likes how it reflects on him (for instance, when I put a limit on his drinking to two bottles of wine in a night on a weekend he thought that wasn't enough).
There's been a lot else going on in my life, miscarriage and anxiety disorder and it's made the drinking a lot worse. Also, i'm in between jobs at the moment so lots of wine, depression, anxiety and being home alone...well.
I just remember when it was one bottle. then it was two. Then three. what's next?
death.
I had withdrawal symptoms today that terrified me, shaking so much I couldn't text, pins and needles, vomiting and uncontrollable nausea.
I just want to be okay. So this is my first step in fighting for my life.
Thanks for reading.
quick intro. I'm a 31 year old lawyer who has always had a problem with alcohol - quitting alcohol and drugs years ago was easy.
Been to rehab once. Thought I could 'moderate' my drinking, and it's just reached the point where I hate who I've become and what my life has become.
My fiancee came home to find me passed out having drank three bottles of wine.
I'm losing days and I don't want to lose my health.
Tomorrow will be my first time going to AA in a very long time. I just wanted to be 'normal'. But If I don't stop I will die. My LFT's are all normal (as of a month ago) but this bender was worse then the last ones and I'm absolutely terrified.
My fiancee finally believes me when I tell him I'm an alcoholic. He always tried to convince me I was just a heavy drinker before. I don't think it likes how it reflects on him (for instance, when I put a limit on his drinking to two bottles of wine in a night on a weekend he thought that wasn't enough).
There's been a lot else going on in my life, miscarriage and anxiety disorder and it's made the drinking a lot worse. Also, i'm in between jobs at the moment so lots of wine, depression, anxiety and being home alone...well.
I just remember when it was one bottle. then it was two. Then three. what's next?
death.
I had withdrawal symptoms today that terrified me, shaking so much I couldn't text, pins and needles, vomiting and uncontrollable nausea.
I just want to be okay. So this is my first step in fighting for my life.
Thanks for reading.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: OZ
Posts: 2,055
You are far from being alone in this. Welcome...It is great that you are here and testimony in itself that you are committed to making a change for the better.
You appears true, a lot of people don't like to know you have issues with alcohol as it can put a mirror up to their own drinking habits.
There are a lot of great resources and information as well as some wonderful people to join and support you.
You appears true, a lot of people don't like to know you have issues with alcohol as it can put a mirror up to their own drinking habits.
There are a lot of great resources and information as well as some wonderful people to join and support you.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Welcome lawgirl. It's great to have you join us. This is a wonderful place for encouragement from those who really understand.
You're doing a great thing for yourself by admitting that things spin out of control once alcohol's in your system. You're young - and you'll be saving yourself so much heartache and misery. Wish I hadn't waited so long to see the light. You can do this!
You're doing a great thing for yourself by admitting that things spin out of control once alcohol's in your system. You're young - and you'll be saving yourself so much heartache and misery. Wish I hadn't waited so long to see the light. You can do this!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Manchester
Posts: 19
Welcome Law girl! I can't really advise you, im on my third quit attempt day 2. But i can relate to u when you talk about your partners reaction to your drinking. Sometimes when im functionally drinking my boyfriend says to me that i don't have a problem and i just like my wine, he says i just have a moderation problem, then the next night he'll have to come pick me up because I've passed out somewhere, hit my head, done goodness knows what and hes not so sure i don't have a problem then! Hes always really loving and supportive with me, hes never mad at me, but i think he finds my drinking problem a really difficult subject that he likes to skirt round and pretend isn't there. Wishing you all the best in your recovery Xxx
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 158
Coming from another lawyer, I'm betting that quitting booze will help multiple facets of your life--professional and personal. I'm curious as to how you feel the decision will affect your professional networking, etc. I wondered about that concept before I decided to stop, but I figured the benefit of being sober outweighed all else. Can't do my job if I'm hungover, after all.
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