soberlife123

So,

quick intro. I'm a 31 year old lawyer who has always had a problem with alcohol - quitting alcohol and drugs years ago was easy.

Been to rehab once. Thought I could 'moderate' my drinking, and it's just reached the point where I hate who I've become and what my life has become.

My fiancee came home to find me passed out having drank three bottles of wine.

I'm losing days and I don't want to lose my health.

Tomorrow will be my first time going to AA in a very long time. I just wanted to be 'normal'. But If I don't stop I will die. My LFT's are all normal (as of a month ago) but this bender was worse then the last ones and I'm absolutely terrified.

My fiancee finally believes me when I tell him I'm an alcoholic. He always tried to convince me I was just a heavy drinker before. I don't think it likes how it reflects on him (for instance, when I put a limit on his drinking to two bottles of wine in a night on a weekend he thought that wasn't enough).

There's been a lot else going on in my life, miscarriage and anxiety disorder and it's made the drinking a lot worse. Also, i'm in between jobs at the moment so lots of wine, depression, anxiety and being home alone...well.

I just remember when it was one bottle. then it was two. Then three. what's next?

death.

I had withdrawal symptoms today that terrified me, shaking so much I couldn't text, pins and needles, vomiting and uncontrollable nausea.

I just want to be okay. So this is my first step in fighting for my life.

Thanks for reading.