New to Recovery....
 

So,

quick intro. I'm a 31 year old lawyer who has always had a problem with alcohol - quitting alcohol and drugs years ago was easy.

Been to rehab once. Thought I could 'moderate' my drinking, and it's just reached the point where I hate who I've become and what my life has become.

My fiancee came home to find me passed out having drank three bottles of wine.

I'm losing days and I don't want to lose my health.

Tomorrow will be my first time going to AA in a very long time. I just wanted to be 'normal'. But If I don't stop I will die. My LFT's are all normal (as of a month ago) but this bender was worse then the last ones and I'm absolutely terrified.

My fiancee finally believes me when I tell him I'm an alcoholic. He always tried to convince me I was just a heavy drinker before. I don't think it likes how it reflects on him (for instance, when I put a limit on his drinking to two bottles of wine in a night on a weekend he thought that wasn't enough).

There's been a lot else going on in my life, miscarriage and anxiety disorder and it's made the drinking a lot worse. Also, i'm in between jobs at the moment so lots of wine, depression, anxiety and being home alone...well.

I just remember when it was one bottle. then it was two. Then three. what's next?

death.

I had withdrawal symptoms today that terrified me, shaking so much I couldn't text, pins and needles, vomiting and uncontrollable nausea.

I just want to be okay. So this is my first step in fighting for my life.

Thanks for reading.

Welcome to the family. :hug:

I'm glad you found us. You'll find lots of support here for quitting drinking. I hope we can help you stop for good. :)

@Least thank you. It's just good to know I'm not alone. It's very difficult explaining to people about my drinking problem. People don't like to hear it if it puts a spot light on their drinking.

Welcome Lawgirl. You have come to a good place xxxx

Welcome LawGirl. This is a great place. I got sober back in August 2012 and Sober Recovery was my main source of support. Glad you're here!

Welcome, lawgirl82. I am glad you are here with us. I hope you will post often and keep us informed of your progress. Good luck.

Welcome to SR. I find it helpful to get support here and I hope you do too.

Welcome lawgirl82, you will find lots of support here. :)

Welcome, LawGirl. You will find a lot of support on SR.

You are far from being alone in this. Welcome...It is great that you are here and testimony in itself that you are committed to making a change for the better.
You appears true, a lot of people don't like to know you have issues with alcohol as it can put a mirror up to their own drinking habits.
There are a lot of great resources and information as well as some wonderful people to join and support you.

Welcome lawgirl. It's great to have you join us. This is a wonderful place for encouragement from those who really understand.

You're doing a great thing for yourself by admitting that things spin out of control once alcohol's in your system. You're young - and you'll be saving yourself so much heartache and misery. Wish I hadn't waited so long to see the light. You can do this! :)

Welcome Law girl! I can't really advise you, im on my third quit attempt day 2. But i can relate to u when you talk about your partners reaction to your drinking. Sometimes when im functionally drinking my boyfriend says to me that i don't have a problem and i just like my wine, he says i just have a moderation problem, then the next night he'll have to come pick me up because I've passed out somewhere, hit my head, done goodness knows what and hes not so sure i don't have a problem then! Hes always really loving and supportive with me, hes never mad at me, but i think he finds my drinking problem a really difficult subject that he likes to skirt round and pretend isn't there. Wishing you all the best in your recovery Xxx

Coming from another lawyer, I'm betting that quitting booze will help multiple facets of your life--professional and personal. I'm curious as to how you feel the decision will affect your professional networking, etc. I wondered about that concept before I decided to stop, but I figured the benefit of being sober outweighed all else. Can't do my job if I'm hungover, after all.