topsykret

Hi guys, this is my first post here. I'm 36 yrs old and use to couldnt stand drug users, have no pitty on them or even understand what they were going through. I hated (still hate) drugs and never took anykind or drug or pill. I do have pretty have panic disorder/anxiety that i have suffered with since I was 16 yrs old. I have been on paxil since it came out on the market and xanax 0.5 for about 2 yrs now. I am not addicted to xanax at all, i take 1 pill at night and thats it. The problem lies with lortab 10/500. I have a ruptured disc in my back and stay in alot of pain in my lower back and left leg. My doctor tried several things, nothing worked. He didnt wont to do surgery because I own a business and I'm so young, so he put me on lortab 10, 4 times a day. Nice, although I don't like taking pills, i filled them and it really helped my back, gave me relief to continue working (fairly hard labor). So come to find out, not only did it help me work, it made me work harder, I felt great and was super social, loved talking to people and made me super friendly, lol wanted to talk to everyone. Only down side is it makes me sweat really bad, but not a real big deal. This is been a yr ago and now I can't make my script of 120 last me my full month as I become pretty tolerant to them now and when 1 was all I need, it takes 3-4 at one time. I have been taking about 6-8 a day of lortab 10. Now I realize I have a problem that I never thought I would EVER have. I am thinking about quiting all together, but it does give me relief from my ruptured disc while working. I realize now that I'm not reponsible enough to keep my own meds.
This happened last month too, I ran out about almost 2 weeks before my refill. I hit bad withdraws and got badly depressed, couldn't eat, stopped smoking, couldn't stand the taste from it, very bad diareha and just couldn't function. I managed through it by finding 1 or 2 here and there until I got my refill, then happy and back to normal.
Well, I just took my last one and its about 9 days to my refill. I know whats about to hit and pretty scared right now. I think I'm done all together and will try to manage pain with advil since I'm not responisble enough anymore.
My question is, a 1 yr user of about 6-8 lortab 10 a day (never missing a single day) how bad is this detox/withdraws gonna be for me? I'm pretty worried about this, never had to deal with anything like this before.

topsykret

Will I feel better maybe within a week? Last month I felt like I was living in a nightmare, bursting out in tears randomly throughout the day. Will I ever feel back to normal again?
I'm afraid if I talk to my dr. about this, they will see me as a addict, yank all my scripts and never give me anything again. My state has cracked down on this badly and just afraid if I tell my doc, it will do more harm than good. Also, my wife knows I take them, she has NO idea it is a problem now. Just super worried

fancyfee

You are capping out daily at the highest recommended dosage of tylenol if you take 8 a day. That's really risky for your liver. I'm just throwing that out there.

Your wd will be uncomfortable and comparable to what you went through before, BUT it does get better and it is better to cut it off now, than when it gets really bad. Most say the acute wd is over within 3-5 days. Then you have to make sure your brain doesn't trick you in to using again.

You should maybe talk to your doctor about trying different methods of pain control or tell him you would like to taper off this current script. I know Ky is very strict about laws there and for good reason.

Good luck and welcome! I understand what you are going through. You can do it!

christin1225

topsy,

Just throwing this out to you...

Anyone taking opioids for a period of time will build a physical dependence and tolerance. IMO, your doctor should not expect you to get the same relief with the same dose after taking narcotics for a year.

I understand that you mentioned the euphoric benefits of the pills... working harder, becoming more outgoing... this could mean that you have increased your dose more for the euphoria than for a building tolerance. If that is the case... well... yeah, you're definitely abusing your medication and need to do something.

However, if you don't crave the drug and the euphoria that it brings (the "good" feeling being just a "happy" side effect that you can take or leave), you may simply be UNDERmedicated for your pain issue and need a longer acting form or an increased dose. That is something that you and your doctor would work out.

Have you spoken to your doctor about your prescription not lasting or do you know, no question about it, that you're abusing your prescription and using it addictively?

christin1225

Just backed my browser up and saw this post. Sorry that I didn't see it before I posted my last reply.

I can assure you that you will feel back to normal again some day (can't say that from personal experience yet, but I've seen LOTS of proof).

I'm still curious, though... What is the REASON that you take more pills than prescribed? Is it to try to control the pain or is it because there's something inside of you that seems to keep you from regulating how many you take? Do you obsess about the pills and how they can (or did) make you feel? Do you have a compulsion to take more even AFTER the dose (whatever that amount may be) has been successful in decreasing the physical pain? Do you take the pills to change how you FEEL or numb how you feel (emotionally)?

longbeachone

My post is more to give you a few tips to get through the withdrawal that you are facing. I won't go to heavily into how I learned this, just that I had to taper off of prescribed Lyrica and did lots of reading on how to get through withdrawal. (By the way, even though lyrica is not a narcotic, getting off this prescription was hell on earth...i wish I'd done my homework before agreeing to try it for pain...took 6 months of tapering).

The poster who told you to go to your Doctor is absolutely right. If you have chronic pain and take this kind of narcotic medication, tolerance will change over time. By doing what you are doing now (running out early and going through withdrawal) you are "kindling" (Google it), making withdrawal worse every time you go through it. This is a viscous cycle going nowhere fast. However, opiate withdrawal, though miserable, is not nearly as dangerous as alcohol withdrawal, just more unpleasant.

So, for now, to make you a bit more comfortable during the"coming storm" (I hope this doesn't break any forum rules...everything listed here is over the counter medication) here are some things that helped me:

You should purchase loperamide (over the counter). Loperamide is an anti-diarrhea medication (it is the active ingredient in Immodium), and it is an opioid medication, but it doesn't pass through the blood brain barrier, so it does not affect your mood, cause euphoria or any of the other stuff regular opiates do. Since your body has many other opiate receptors, Loperamide can help you avoid the worst of withdrawals. You should have 200 on hand. You can buy a bottle of 500 for five or six dollars at Walmart. You should also purchase grapefruit juice and tonic water (these "potentiate" the loperamide...once again, Google it).) Drink 8oz of each 30 minutes before taking loperamide. 20-30 mg should be enough. This will hopefully take care of the worst of your withdrawal symptoms, and one dose lasts for a good 12 hours. For more information Google "Thomas Remedy".

I also found the natural supplement Valerian to be so helpful, it is calming, helped with sweating and helped me sleep. It should be near the vitamins. Buy the capsules, I used the liquid, which tastes disgusting. One benedryl at bedtime also helps with sweating, and is a sleep aid. A good vitamin supplement and Gatorade by the gallon helps flush toxins. You mentioned that you took a benzo for anxiety. These are very helpful for withdrawal, but I'm sure you know how addictive these are, and they have terrible, awful withdrawals. Use with caution.

If sweating gets too bad. (I hated this) the herb sage is well known to help with this. You will have to go online to find it. I used sage oil and rubbed it on my wrists throughout the day.

I hope that this helps you get through...I have a neurological disorder called Reflexive systemic dystrophy, very painful, so I rely on pain medication too. I found that the various pills like oxycontin and such caused such fogginess and other bad side effects that I couldn't stand it. I found fentanyl patches to be my best treatment. I change one every three days, and notice no euphoria or other side effects. I've been on this for four years, and have only had to go up twice in dosage. Without these, I would be homebound.

Take care, and I hope you feel better soon.

overitall

Unreal how exact our stories are!! Same age I tan out last month bad withdrawals quit smoking sick then I was like okay I'm going to be responsible and just take them when I need them. Yea right 10 days till appt and I wasn't going to have enough for a day! So 5 days ago flushed what I had and it had sucked but NOTHING like last month. I honestly think because I went through those withdrawals so bad last month that my body adjusted and this time it wasn't as "addicted". I'm tired like no energy but not living in bathroom can still clean up and take care of business. It's almost day 6 and my appt to get my refill is on Wednesday and I have got to NOT go to it. It's the day before my 36 birthday I do not want to have some stupid pill run my life.
So in short I think and hope you will be surprised how much easier it is this time. . Keep me posted!
A-

topsykret

Thanks guys for the replies. I really do need them for pain, but like I said, I'm starting to take to much and its not all from the pain. I realize for once in my life I'm hooked on something. Today is starting to suck pretty bad. Still shaking my head in disbelief that a pill can control my life like that. I mean waking up early in the morning, like 6am and the first thing on your mind is to jump up and run to take a pill??

TiredEnough

Topsykret,

I used to think alot like you concerning addicts. I thought, well why dont they just quit??? Its just that easy, folks

Mornings are a great indicator of dependency. If you wake up like we did and just cant get to a pill fast enough, there is a problem.

christin1225

Yeah... sounds like a problem.

So, I'm going to suggest something REALLY tough to do. Tell your spouse AND tell your doctor (you can even write your doctor a letter for them to flag your chart for no opiates because you're having trouble controlling your intact of pills).

Trust me, I know that both sound absolutely impossible to do. I tried to avoid it with every ounce of strength in me. But, if your addiction is anything like mine... any bridges not burned WILL be crossed again because your head continually insist that you cross them "because you can" even if for "just one more time" to "quiet your head for a short while" until the Siren Song of addiction finally wins and you go to a walk-in or call your doctor for a "legitimate" refill.

I cried like a baby in front of my husband, my kids, even my father when I finally realized that the only hope that I had to stay off the drugs for any period of time was to tell them and to write to all of the doctors who had prescribed for me or allowed me to pick up scripts prescribed for family members. My father LOCKED his prescriptions in his safe for me. It was humiliating. I felt like I had let them all down in a HUGE way. But, it was necessary.

That's my experience anyway.

GJClay

I feel for you tremendously; I only had to read a couple of the first lines of your post and I knew what the rest of the story was going to be (though I still read it). It couldn't possibly have turned out any differently.

ONE THING THAT STRUCK ME: The doctor didn't want to do surgery at your young age, but he/she didn't mind getting you addicted to opiates at this young age!! I literally feel sick when I think about how twisted this is. Good for you for realizing what was what before getting deeper in and believe me, there is way further to go on the prescription meds and the longer you're on them the harder they are to kick. A comparison is that in the type of withdrawal you're in, you feel like you've been hit by a motorcycle maybe; take opiates for ten years, when you quit you'll feel like you're being run over by a train because it hurts way worse and last a lot longer. You can do it!!

overitall

How are you doing and what did you decide to do?

overitall

I replaced my morning pill that I took at 6:30 sharp so I could get up in about 30 mins after it kicked in with B-12 and B-6 vitamins. I also take klonopin like your Xanax but have had to beef up my dose to make it through this. Energy is the killer. I take adderall for adhd and that doesn't even get me going. When I first started that I would take it at 6:30 and my eyes would literally pop open insane! Now I can fall back asleep? I will go off that next then klonopin too. So tired of being ruled by meds!

topsykret

I tell you it is tough. I would never thought I would be addicted to anything. Like I said, I have pretty bad panic disorder and have been on xanax for years. I'm NOT addicted to them, I can go without them, I forget about them all the time and my 1 month script will sometimes last me 3-4 months. If I have no anxiety or panic, I go days without taking them, but I'll be damn this lortabs are something else. And actually I think alot of it is in my mind and I'm making it worse than what it really is, besides the explosive diahrea. I have a few other friends that have all had back surgery and are prescribed pain killers to, they have been on them for years, they don't abuse them or really "addicted" to them. I thought I could talk to one of them about it but they thought I was crazy and now look at me like a "addict". I guess not everyone gets hooked on them like some can...like me with my xanax, I could care less about them and they don't help one bit with kicking opiates for me, well helping me sleep better i guess, but other than that I don't "enjoy" taking xanax, but do keep them around incase of a major panic attack. I'm just taking it one day at a time and see how this goes, I can't really talk to anyone about, that's why I came here. Thanks for listening

lilyjane

I don't think any of us thought we would become addicts. It is shocking and disheartening at first, but once you get over the shock of being an addict and get through the denial - denial came up for me a lot...still does, you can treat your addiction.

There is no shame in being an addict just as there is no shame in having cancer.

Opiate detox just gets worse the more you use. This withdrawal will be WAY different from your future withdrawals.

It's uncomfortable for sure, like having a horrible case of the flu, but it will pass. Once your withdrawal has passed, you will then have your head telling you that you are not an addict - that you can control your intake of pills - you'll take them differently next time and on and on it goes until you admit you are powerless over opiates. Unfortunately once we cross over the line into addiction, that first pill will leave you craving more - you might not give in the first, second or third time, but if you are an addict like me, you will end up using more pills each time you pick up again.

Good luck and keep posting - your story is helping a lot of people.

hellomynameis

I want to first acknowledge your strength in coming to this forum. Second, you can be frank with yourself and others which is a sign of humility and honor. Finally, there are lots of medical options for PAIN management which your doctor may not know about that do not have to do with taking drugs. You should consider finding an interventional pain specialist. These people are specialists at long term pain control w/o the heavy reliance on opiates. Trust me when I tell you, chronic pain is a pathway to addiction as you are finding out. Your self awareness will save you, but what you do next will keep you clean.

Tryin2Recover

Its like that old anti drug commercial from the early 90s-nobody says "when I grow up, im gonna be an addict"...For some of us, it just happens, and your thoughts and behavior fits the bill. Come clean with your Dr, get over that fear. Docs know the addictive power of narcotic pkers, it is not a weakness of your character by any means.

joygirl

Topsykret,

I know exactly what you're thinking and feeling. I was there. Only I denied the problem for nearly 8 years! I'm clean now, and let me tell you this- I would never choose that path if I knew then what I know now. After pills, I used a non-med pain mangmnt route and I'm doing great. Actually, the real pain from my back was not that bad. It hurt a lot when I first quit, but that's just the w/d. I think you are awesome for seeing this for what it is now instead of later! Ask me anything, I'd like to help if I can.

finaltime

My opinion? Be honest with everyone, your wife, your doctor, and tough out the withdrawals even though you are going to hurt, and hurt bad. THis is just my opinion, the withdrawals will suck super bad, however you will get better. The biggest thing is get support so you don't go back to this, get rid of every drug in our house or your care and don't get anymore. Read through my threads if you need too, I have been one that has went back and forth and back and forth, last one was an overdose! imagine that! And I would like to think I am as normal as they come... well I am an addict and normal, but my addict in me is super strong. The withdrawals suck so bad that they can help to keep you clean, then if you stay strong you won't have to live your life around these pills anymore, don't you want that freedom?

wiscsober

topsykret no longer are you alone! Peace always.