Topsykret,
I know exactly what you're thinking and feeling. I was there. Only I denied the problem for nearly 8 years! I'm clean now, and let me tell you this- I would never choose that path if I knew then what I know now. After pills, I used a non-med pain mangmnt route and I'm doing great. Actually, the real pain from my back was not that bad. It hurt a lot when I first quit, but that's just the w/d. I think you are awesome for seeing this for what it is now instead of later! Ask me anything, I'd like to help if I can.