Originally Posted by
topsykret 
I'm starting to take to much and its not all from the pain.
Yeah... sounds like a problem.
So, I'm going to suggest something REALLY tough to do. Tell your spouse AND tell your doctor (you can even write your doctor a letter for them to flag your chart for no opiates because you're having trouble controlling your intact of pills).
Trust me, I know that both sound absolutely impossible to do. I tried to avoid it with every ounce of strength in me. But, if your addiction is anything like mine... any bridges not burned WILL be crossed again because your head continually insist that you cross them "because you can" even if for "just one more time" to "quiet your head for a short while" until the Siren Song of addiction finally wins and you go to a walk-in or call your doctor for a "legitimate" refill.
I cried like a baby in front of my husband, my kids, even my father when I finally realized that the only hope that I had to stay off the drugs for any period of time was to tell them and to write to all of the doctors who had prescribed for me or allowed me to pick up scripts prescribed for family members. My father LOCKED his prescriptions in his safe for me. It was humiliating. I felt like I had let them all down in a HUGE way. But, it was necessary.
That's my experience anyway.