Went to the meeting, couldn't speak
Went to the meeting, couldn't speak
Day 3. I went to that women's meeting, but I didn't speak up like I intended to. I couldn't speak. I kept getting all teary and choking on holding back my tears. Even that was kind of embarassing. I know I need to speak up and work the program, so I'm a little disappointed in myself. I really do think that this will be a good meeting in which to find a sponsor... I really don't want to sit there and start crying in front of everyone. The topic was about taking action too... Ugh. Well, at least I went and got my newcomers chip.
I think you are amazing for going to the meeting and getting to day three. I get really nervous in groups and my mind goes blank. I think drinking leaves us shaken, and it takes a minute for us to get grounded... I think you are doing fantastic
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Sydney, NSW
Posts: 104
Hey relax. Stop being so hard on yourself. You are doing incredibly well! You got to a meeting. You'll start to work the program when it feels right. You are not the first person to blubber a bit at a meeting by the way. People have been doing it for decades.
it is ok if you shed a few tears
that is a nice step taken
even though you didn't share sounds like the meeting went pretty well
I have been to thousands of meetings
and there were many times that I kind of wanted to share
but just didn't for some reason
thank God we have a next time -- right ?
it is ok if you shed a few tears there
believe me
many of us have also done that before
best of luck sent to you
and many blessings
from
onehigherpower
even though you didn't share sounds like the meeting went pretty well
I have been to thousands of meetings
and there were many times that I kind of wanted to share
but just didn't for some reason
thank God we have a next time -- right ?
it is ok if you shed a few tears there
believe me
many of us have also done that before
best of luck sent to you
and many blessings
from
onehigherpower
NotSoIvory, congrats on 3 days and well done for getting to the meeting! You're so brave to go up and get your newcomers chip. I'm 17 days back and I still haven't gone up to get up my 24 hour chip. But you've inspired me and hopefully I'll go up to get it this Saturday.
Don't beat yourself up for not sharing during the meeting. If you think asking someone one-to-one for help would be less daunting, get to your next meeting a few minutes early and talk to someone, or wait until after the meeting and approach someone. Whoever you speak to, I'm sure she'll be happy that you singled her out for help and will be happy to tell you more about sponsorship and everything else you want to talk about.
Don't beat yourself up for not sharing during the meeting. If you think asking someone one-to-one for help would be less daunting, get to your next meeting a few minutes early and talk to someone, or wait until after the meeting and approach someone. Whoever you speak to, I'm sure she'll be happy that you singled her out for help and will be happy to tell you more about sponsorship and everything else you want to talk about.
So I'm right over 7 years, and I felt the same way you did. I still do every meeint I go to.
I think @ this point, I go cuz I know what I need......... Eventually, U will let urself cry or u will find a meeting better for you. But don't give up.. Personally I only opened up when I was ready........
I think @ this point, I go cuz I know what I need......... Eventually, U will let urself cry or u will find a meeting better for you. But don't give up.. Personally I only opened up when I was ready........
Day 3. I went to that women's meeting, but I didn't speak up like I intended to. I couldn't speak. I kept getting all teary and choking on holding back my tears. Even that was kind of embarassing. I know I need to speak up and work the program, so I'm a little disappointed in myself. I really do think that this will be a good meeting in which to find a sponsor... I really don't want to sit there and start crying in front of everyone. The topic was about taking action too... Ugh. Well, at least I went and got my newcomers chip.
There's an old-timer at one of the meetings I attend who tells the story of when he was 12-stepped by an old timer 50 yrs ago. The guy told him to sit there & shut up for a whole year. The first time I heard that story, I thought, "what a jerk!" Recently though, about the 15th time I've heard this guy tell the story.....it hit me that at least that took all of the pressure off of the newcomer. Silver lining of the old hardcore days I guess.
Great job on 3 days, going to meetings & having the desire to stay stopped! Don't wait a year to share.....
Great job on 3 days, going to meetings & having the desire to stay stopped! Don't wait a year to share.....
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 14
Everyone can cry. They're simply remembering the gut-wrenching environment and choices that got them there in the first place...
You're not forced to say anything. At all. Sometimes all anyone needs is a hug, and it is left at that.
You're not forced to say anything. At all. Sometimes all anyone needs is a hug, and it is left at that.
good on ya ivory!!! im reading a good quality you have: you say you" kept getting all teary and choking on holding back my tears." that tells me you have a heart and are hurtin, prolly because where you have ended up. if ya didnt give a crap and werent sorry, ya wouldnt have done that. dont feel bad about it. there i was, 36 years old at my first meeting and all i could say was ," im tom im an alcoholic and i cant take it any more." then i broke down cryin. didnt have to say anything else. those people knew what was goin on.
i cried quite often at meetings for a while, but me and my life got better!! it took footwork, but all worth it. i was actually able to start smiling and laughing, smiling at who i saw in the mirror!! i liked him!
i cried quite often at meetings for a while, but me and my life got better!! it took footwork, but all worth it. i was actually able to start smiling and laughing, smiling at who i saw in the mirror!! i liked him!
Well done for going on day 3. Thatīs fantastic. I didnīt speak for weeks! I just sat there and took everything in. Like you I really had to fight back the tears when someone would say somthing relevant, which was most of the time. After a while I began to share, but there would be times when I just wouldnīt feel like it, or have the emotional energy. Donīt be hard on yourself, you did amazingly amazing!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: CAPE COD, MA
Posts: 1,020
Welcome and congratulations for the beginning your adventure. A good suggestion when I first came to AA was you never have to feel this way again if you dont pick up the first drink AND KEEP COMING. At discussion meetings as it went around the table it was suggested to NOT think about what I was going to say, just listen and if my thoughts were ready to express them let them out. I Listened to the old timers and found them usually correct because they lived through the same things. BE WELL
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)