RaggedyMan

So, this is day 3 for me and this is my first post...

I binge drink, I've never drunk every day, so reaching "day 3" happens pretty often. I do know that when I drink I am out of control and always drink more that I intend and my family put up with that. Lots of memory lapses and regrets... I've been to AA in the past and I don't think it's for me.

I've been reading about AVRT for the last few days and it looks more likely to be suitable for me. I've had enough of feeling crap all weekend and am never going to do it again. I think I have general addiction problems, but keep most things in check, alcohol has always been the big struggle.

Unfortunately I already feel anxiety setting in which is unusual on a Wednesday! I will be ready at 5pm on Friday when what I'm now seeing as the AV always gets loud...

So that's me...

Nonsensical

Welcome. You're in a good place. AA is not for me either, but sobriety sure is. For me knowledge is power, and I have learned A LOT since joining this site in January.

Check the newcomers section on Friday for a "Sober Weekend" thread. Those can be fun and motivational.

Good luck on your journey.

SoberKnitter

Welcome, RaggedyMan! Stick around here and post lots. I'm new as well (11 days). The AV can be pretty sneaky, and reading posts here is a great resource.

Have you made your Big Plan yet?

The anxiety you feel is not you, it's your AV. It's great that you know when your beast acts up, so you can be prepared for it. When Friday rolls around, be sure to post in the Funny Things My AV Said Today thread. Writing out what my AV says has been really helpful to me. It's tricks are pretty transparent when you spell them out.

RaggedyMan

Not really apart from "I don't drink any more and I will not drink in the future"... I don't think I'm a "one day at a time" type. I have started looking into relaxation techniques as stress/anxiety (as well as the weekend) set me off. Just doing lots of reading on this site at the moment.

I have concluded that I can control what is going and it's my responsibility to do that, but I do need some support - I don't like group sessions, but I think these forums will help me a lot.

Just a lot of garbled thoughts right now.

Probably will have to tell my wife soon, or she'll notice on Friday night...

SoberKnitter

It sounds like you've made it already. The Big Plan is nothing more than "I will never drink again, and I will never change my mind." You can read about it in the crash course on AVRT on the Rational Recovery site.

The Big Plan definitely doesn't involve one day at a time thinking. It's one decision, forever.

GerandTwine

AVRT is all about (and ONLY about) your present thoughts and feelings about alcohol being or not being in your future. So, I'm going to rewrite your post using AVRT.
Congratulations on your "never going to do it again". Feel free to express what positive thoughts and feelings that plan produces, as well.

RaggedyMan

GerandTwine - thanks for that, I get it. I was trying to think it the past tense, just obviously didn't quite get out that way. AV wriggling in already?

fini

welcome, RaggedyMan,
and congratulations on day 3.
no matter how many day3's there have been before, there hasn't been THIS one. brand new.
see you tomorrow

RaggedyMan

Thanks fini - day 5 now and it's Friday, the old binge day.

Been very busy today with my boy and the AV is suspiciously quiet. Looking forward to another long busy day tomorrow!

fini

"....suspiciously quiet"


you've heard the phrase "don't borrow trouble", yes?

this is the secular section. not to be confused with the avrt section. you may be here without having an av as defined by avrt

not trying to be argumentative, just noticed that this secular connections seems almost entirely related to avrt, and saying that you don't need to have a clearly-defined av to recognize an urge and a crazy-drinking-voice and go on being sober in a non-step way.

read about avrt and use it as a tool if it makes sense. use any tool that works. enjoy the quiet and day 5 with your son and being busy.
making concrete plans for predictable trouble spots and having a "daily do" that's recovery related has served me well.
see you tomorrow

Nonsensical

My observation is that many people recognize an urge and a crazy-drinking-voice and then type "AV" because it's a lot shorter. I have stopped automatically assuming that anyone using the abbreviation AV is practicing AVRT.

I also know people who google stuff on Bing.

fini

My observation is that many people recognize an urge and a crazy-drinking-voice and then type "AV"


yeah, and i did it, too, a few times. but i hadn't understood.now that i do understand better, i've seen i don't have an AV, just a crazy-alcoholic-thinking-blip at times
something like that.

RaggedyMan

Well, I have started reading about AVRT, but I admit I haven't got as far as I would have liked - kids are at home all the time at the moment which is slowing me down a bit. By the middle of the week I will have some peaceful hours to sit and read properly.

I do think I have an AV from what I have read so far as it applies to other [... here comes one of my children again ...] thoughts I have too aside from alcohol...

Oh dear.