katysue22

Hi guys. Just wondering if anyone here could share any experience. I've been sober for just over two years in the fellowship. Those two years have been the happiest of my whole life. However, recenty,i've been waking up in the morning in a total panic/anxiety. Sometimes i'm not sure why, othertimes i'm panicking about something really trivial at work which when i'm fully awake doesn't concern me at all. But i've been feeling really on edge. I know it will pass, but i'm worried i'm not doing something right. I've shared it with my sponsor, i've been doing written inventory, saying my Step 3 prayer A LOT, going to plenty of meetings, working with my sponsee. All the stuff that usually shifts a weird mood or feeling. But it's not shifting. Anyone have any ideas of other thinngs i could try? xx

Caledonia1

hi Katysue, you sound like you're doing everything you possibly can.

For myself I'm tend to worry when everything is hunkeydorey........lol Keep waiting on the bubble to burst.

Sorry I haven't got anything more profound to offer. Hope the feeling passes quickly.

Tommyh

one suggestion
before you go to sleep at night,lay in bed counting your blessings untill you go to sleep,then see what happens when you wake up

I`m serious
I used to do it,and wake up grateful

bbthumper

Sounds like you are doing the right things. Especially working with others.

Where are you at with amends? What is your routine as far as steps 10 and 11?

freya

I've had good luck in situations like this with praying before I go to sleep, either to remember my dreams and/or for some sense of what is going on with me while sleeping that is causing the feelings I'm waking up with.

If I remember dreams or seem to be getting some "answer" that I don't understand, then I write it down as best and as thoroughly as I can and then read it to and talk with someone (sponsor, close friends who are good with this type of work, anyone who knows me and will listen) about it. For me, getting to the point where I am trying to explain it to someone else in words almost always ends up giving me clarity as to what's up.

freya

tomsteve

welp, when i get that stuff happening, i do this and keep on trudgin:

This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help.

It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all of our activities. "How can I best serve Thee - Thy will (not mine) be done."These are thoughts that must go with us constantly.


On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives.

As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action. We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day "Thy will be done." We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish decisions. We become much more efficient. We do not tire so easily, for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves.

It works - it really does.

We alcoholics are undisciplined. So we let God discipline us in the simple way we have just outlined.

muvinon

I found, like Tommy, that counting my blessing as well as doing a positive 10th step on my way to sleep made my sleep alot more peaceful.

katysue22

I've done majority of my amends- i hada sponsor that pushed me to do them as quickly as possible because she knew what a procrastinator i was! Maybe i need to try and down a few more....

I don't do a written step 10 but i do run through my inventory most nights and share if required. I pray every morning and every evening.

I think maybe it's a "this too shall pass" thing. We cant feel great all the time - normies don't! But thank you to everyone who has helped. Love SR X

2granddaughters

katysue, sometimes I just have those periods.

I look at them as an opportunity to continue "on the beam" and this too shall pass.

In the past when things got uncomfortable I was tempted to change things. Today, if I am doing my best, I continue to do so and soon the cloud disappears and I'm in a better place.

All the best.

Bob R

Veritas1

I have been getting up and reading pages 86-88 daily. I have a notebook next to me as I consider my plans for the day. I have created a routine to seek God, and spend time on the outline in the book.

I spend time in prayer and meditation each morning, but it takes discipline to do this as sometimes, I find myself into my day, and missed the time of sitting down with the book. I am making progress though.

I had an epiphany this morning. I saw that I had some things out of order.

The book tells me:

Upon awakening, let us think about the 24 hrs...let us consider our plans....

then I saw....

BEFORE....we begin....we ask God...we pray...

I rush right into MY day. I saw...before I begin....ask God to direct my thinking.

So, I learned that I have to get uncomfortable. I need to make the time to sit down in a spot where I have my book, and quiet time, to read each and every word, instruction, action, prayer in those pages of 86-88.

This is helping me.

I really try to understand what it is that the book is telling me to do. When they say it, what does it mean for example.

I look carefully at the verbs.

I understand all about panic, and fear.

What is helping me is to clear my thinking utilizing the instructions in the book, prayer and meditation, and pen and paper. Each day I take a page of paper, write down the date. Write down the time, schedule in my prayer and meditation, pages 86-88, then go to the book, I complete the pages, all of it, word for word, I do what it says to do.

I then consider my plans, create a plan for the day.

I then can go and do the next right thing.

Veritas1

I AM in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger and worry, self-pity and foolish decisions.

Thank you Bill W. Thank you God.

CaiHong

Good thread and very useful insights definitely what I needed to read. Thanks for posting Katysue.
I have been getting overexcited lately and in the past would reach for a drink to calm down. The other night I was so excited I decided to get on my motorbike and ride to the casino, on the way dropped in to see a friend and she asked me if I had been drinking I was offended by her comment but later on reflection I could see I was exhibiting similar behavior when was drinking I had also been fueling myself with strong coffee. it has taken me a couple do days to calm down and realize though the high is exciting it is also dangerous for this alcoholic. I am reminded that my primary purpose is to stay sober and to keep close to my HP.
The program does not work for me if I don't work the program. Steve what you posted really hit home.
CaiHong

katysue22

Thanks again everyone. Particularly to Veritas - i'm going to try the writing down thing each morning. I usually do it in my head because i don't think i have the time to write it all down. That woudl mean getting up 30 MINUTES EARLIER and how could i possibly do that!

Frankly, i would and did lose far more hours of sleep drinking and drugging. Tomorrow i'm getting up 30 minutes earlier.

Any lengths etc!!

Veritas1

That's awesome KatySue.

I'll be doing it right along with you.