Zeiger

Here goes... I'm 26 years old. When I was in England I had a terrible experience with alcohol and got into serious debt problems. I met a girl from Norway, she was beautiful and caring and took me into her life from the very beginning. I found an amazing job as a carer and we built a life together. For a while everything was perfect and thought my life was coming together for once. Then I decided to start drinking, at first just sociably and then I became worse. I would arrive at work half drunk, I started becoming angry and aggressive towards the person I loved. Eventually I did lose my job and that was the beginning of the end for me, my drinking got worse as I became depressed. I started acting like a total jerk to most people, eventually people cut me off and also my girlfriend left me, I lost my job, my house, my car, my lover and my life. Eventually I moved out of Norway, I blamed a lot of our relationship problems on her (she was no saint either) but it was mostly my fault. She did love me a hell of a lot and my drinking changed me and I pushed her away. At the moment I am so lost, she has cut contact with me because I did send her a lot of abusive messages and emails. I became obsessive and the drinking just made it worse. Today I have decided enough is enough, if I carry on I will probably die at some point. I just wish that she could see the person I was and not what I have turned into but I think it's a bit too late for that. I am so sorry Marte.

Just needed to get this out somewhere.

Live2Run25

Hello there. Today is my first day here as well. You are on the right path.

ttbp

Hello and welcome to both of you xx

MrsKing

Hello. Today is my first day here, also. I can completely relate to your story - my drinking pushed away countless people, ruined my employment and generally made me a complete waste of space. The thing is - you are here. You have realised there is a problem and you are admitting that something needs to be done about it. With courage and determination you can achieve what you wish for.

sugarbear1

Welcome to SR!

Glad you are here!

Impurrfect

((Zeiger)) - Welcome to SR!! I, too, lost a lot due to my addiction, but am steadily trying to get it back in recovery.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Zebra1275

Welcome to SR!

This can be the day that you start to turn things around. You can't change the past, but at 26 you have a lot of future ahead of you. Now do you have a plan to get and stay sober? The combination of this website and AA has worked for me.

cat1961

Zeiger - I can relate to your situation and this is my first day back here since 2010. My drinking has become out of control recently, loosing contact with friends and family and my job being jeopardized. I've decided once again to quit drinking cuz I know it will get better over time. If you pull the plug from the alcohol and stick with it, you too will be a much better person. I'll bet your girlfriend will find the same.

Glad to meet you! :ghug3

least

Welcome to the family! :ghug3

Endofline

Well how refreshing it is to have someone say sorry even of it's too late to repair your relationship it's just nice to hear. I don't know if she is on this site o get your apology but I hope she knows that you do realize that she really loved you and you pushed her away. There are no mistakes inlife just lessons learned. O hope you take this experience and treat the next woman in your life better and of your not feeling like your healthy enough for a relationship and to be a good partner that you don't take one on, and have them fall in love with you just break their heart because your going to drink and blame them. I say this because I have been the one on the other end and it really destroys the person that loves you and sees how sick you are and are helpless to get you to stop. Good luck. Thank you for your honesty and sharing.

graceful

Hi this is my first week here. My boyfriend died of a drug overdose and my drinking for the last two years to deal with that has led me here. Hope you don't go down that same road. You are taking the right steps. Just left my 2nd AA meeting and i loved it. Keep it going you can do it.

DoinThis

to SR

Zeiger

Thank you guys for the response, I have vowed never to go near a drink anymore. I realize exactly what I lost due to it and I never want to hurt anyone like I did to her again. I didn't see it at the time, I just thought I was having fun when she was desperately trying to reach out to me.

She stood by me and changed my life, She will probably never see these messages but my intention was try to apologise to myself and her. We had a great life together and because of me I have ruined it for the both of us.

Now she says she hates me for what I have done and is so dissapointed and hurt that she has lost trust with not just me but almost everyone.

I don't know if it's repairable, She does still contact me about various things such as "how the computer is set up" or car problems. I don't know exactly what this means if it means anything but something tells me she still wants contact if only minor contact.

It's not going to be easy but with the right help and advice such as this board I know I am a strong enough person to get on with my life sober. At the moment I'm just so anoyed with myself for messing things up.

Endofline

Keep posting it helps when your feeling down not only you,but also all of us that are experiencing some dark moments as well. I hop it's true that we will find good out of all this bad, that there is happiness out there if we continue to work on our own recovery. I take it day by day.