Missy7

I have about a six day cycle. I think what is happening is that at six days I "forget" I have a problem. I wonder if that's about normal.

I certainly don't have a problem avoiding alcohol for the first two days sober. Day three I tend to feel good and want to "party." Day four and five I sort of forget it, then about five or six I am tempted and question myself.

I do feel that I will get this handled. And I appreciate the stories of SR compatriats who relapse after months or years, but gosh, it's amazing.

Also, from my start month, I don't see very many of my quit buddies on here. I think that's very sad. I'm guessing some have gone back to drinking and are ashamed to come on here. I imagine a very few are doing great and are too busy in their sobriety. Is that what others think?

As for myself, I'm going to keep coming back regardless because I must get this handled. It is not an easy thing for me, but I am getting better.

How about you?

eaglette

I "forget" about my addiction after about 30 days. At that time I feel great in my recovery and that I can now proceed to living like a normal person, including drinking casually at parties and whatnot. Last time I acted on the compulsion on day 39. Now I am on day 37 and have learned what my pattern is. I am not sure what comes after this, but I am sure that I want to push forward and find out.

susanlauren

Missy,
Are you working a program other than SR? If not, maybe you should consider some additional resources and supports.
Susan

TheTinMan

I never really could make it 6 days. I always made promises in the morning and by the afternoon I was well on my way again.

When I hit my bottom I was convienced that I could no longer drink. I started going to AA and coming here for support. I have fought off all cravings by following the program and changing my lifestyle.

Bikeguy

Sometimes that little voice creeps into my head saying "it's OK you can have a drink or two" at that point I remind myself about my detox, then I look at my kids and quickly come to my senses. That little voice is trying to kill me, now that I've realized that I can better handle any temptations from alcohol.

CarolD

In early sobriety....I kept a list of how horrid my de tox symptoms were.
When tempted to 'have just one' I read that and got back to sober thinking

i began a journal...first page had all the problems I had from drinking
2nd page were the reasons I wanted to improve my life.

I wrote down all sorts of feelings and events...and it was easy to see what needed to be worked on...

I also went to a daily AA meeting to learn how to enjoy my new lifestyle as a non drinker...

Jabbadabutt

I never "let" myself "forget" about being sober. This time around I made a moral promise to myself to live sober and that had made a world of difference, oh and also seeing a counselor and coming here to SR as an sctive sober participant.

Spawn

An old timer might say you haven't hit bottom yet.

serious

Missy7, this reminds me so much of how my typical cycles used to be for a long time.

weekend = drunk.
monday/tuesday = sober, recovering (perhaps with a little fix aka 2-3 beers).
wednesday = almost normal
thursday = feeling pretty good
firday = party time!?

(rinse and repeat)

on certain occasions it would get worse, other times it would get better, but that was pretty much my average life for years.

notsoberyet

This is my first post. I usually relapse on alcohol after 3 weeks. I am also trying to quit pot. I take ativan daily

LovesToTravel

You mustn't forget or you will continue the cycle forever. It is just like taking antibiotics or medicines you start feeling better and stop taking the medicine and get sick again...not a good thing. Hang in there. Stop for today. Think about tomorrow...tomorrow.

Missy7

Interesting guys. I posted this thread because I've noticed so many people coming on and talking about relapsing. So I thought it would be good if we talked about when that happens. I'll bet somewhere there is real research about it.

LovestoTravel's correlation to antibiotics is really a good one. I guess I'm guilty of that too.

Cog

I've been going through the same cycle. Get drunk at weekends, go through the god-awful detox for a few days with poor sleep. Then, start to feel better, get to Friday (having had a night or two of reasonable sleep), and totally forget why I tried to stop in the first place. And repeat, week after week ...

It's amazing really. Those first few days after stopping are horrible. Then, by the time I get to Friday and am feeling better, I feel that I have suffered so much to get to this point, what a hard week it was etc, that I really need a drink to get over the stress of it all.

Insanity indeed.

Luckyv2

I was stuck relapsing every three weeks for awhile than it was about every two too three months for awhile than not sure what happened other than making a using time line that was suggested to me by a member and than well...

Continuing each day to remain sober.

Reed22

Im on pretty much the exact same cycle as you Missy... just coming off another one as a matter of fact.

But lately I feel like I am getting a bit stronger each time, a bit closer to ultimate acceptance that I simply cannot drink... I mean I tell myself that only drinking 2 days a week means I am "in control" or that I don't have a problem. I then proceed to have about 20 drinks in those two days...

I find that the issue of the week long cycle has to do with emotion versus reason. I have the emotional ammunition for Monday- Thursday or Friday to resist drinking based on how mad I was at myself for drinking the previous weekend. But that wears off and it's just the reasoning side, and I find that the part of me that wants to drink is both convincing and devious.

Well, beginning another week... I hope I can be strong come this weekend!

instant

MY cycle was weekly, but was progressing. In he past I was a daily drinker, then my efforts at moderation became binges as well.

I guess people stop coming to SR for various reasons- you would have to think shame, and giving up would be part of it. I guess we have all had a number of go's at quitting.

It seems to be as long as we have that feeling/thinking somewhere that life would be/could be/ should be better with alscohol in it we are at risk. So for me when people talk about surrender- I think it is important.

This time I am trying to find a way to discover the richness of life as it is meant to be- wihtout the artifical 'release valve'.

Missy7

I do think I'm getting stronger as I continue the cycle too. I'm learning stuff on SR and will eventually have enough information and intestinal fortitude to step out of my drinking life and leave it and everyone in it behind. But it's like a massive divorce. Luckily, my drinking buddies have a way of dropping off too. So I'm noticing that as well. I really do go out because of who I will see. But they are temporary--apparently.

doggonecarl

While it is easy to characterize repeated relapsing as "two steps forward, one step back" to where you will eventually get to your goal of sobriety, in reality it is more like "one step forward, two steps back." Then you run out of steps. This is because of the kindling effect of detoxing on the alcoholic brain. Every time you return to drinking after you quit, the next attempt becomes that much more difficult.

While it may be encouraging to know that others in SR are going through similar problems with relapsing, the real lesson may be in considering what happened to the folks that no longer post to the forums. Was the last cycle of relapse the last "quit" in them?

How many more relapses do you have in the tank?

Missy7

I think many people relapse a series of times. And I think it is valuable to think about how far those of us in this cycle get before we give it up.

I do see your kindling effect and have wondered about that. In fact, I posted to someone with their first 60 days that it seems that first run at it is really important. But for those of us who are imperfect, we must navigate the return trip.

The reason the kindling effect might have merit is because if I can give it up a couple of times I assume I can do so again...I get it. But I don't know about the brain stuff. Do you have a reading recommendation?

And even in my thread today I've asked about the people not posting. But I don't think they've spent their last quit.

As one of my SR compadres has on their tag line, "It ain't over till you're dead."

That has to be my philosophy.

Zebra1275

What doggonecarl said!

How many more relapses do you have in the tank?

Eventually, you will run out. I wouldn't want to do it one time too many and have a seizure or a stroke during detox.

Remembering how bad drinking can be for me is one reason I go to AA reasons on a regular basis, lest I forget.