gravity

Without help, the best I could do was 88 days.

With AA, 3 1/2 years and counting.

Missy7

I've never done 88 days. Amazing. And even better now.

I am going to try to spend the summer going to AA meetings. I live way out in the country and will try to use my trips in that way.

Spawn

It is said picking up your drug of choice is the end result of a relapse.

StPeteGrad

I don't know what I can tell you, Missy. I haven't relapsed and it's been over 4 months. I'm not better than anyone - I have just used every tool that I had at my disposal.

Up until I quit in February I no reason to believe I had my last drink yet. Then I got nailed for DUI, realized I was in a heap of s*&% and took a close look at myself and my health.

I did treatment and am very active in AA. I get those phone calls on a regular basis that remind me that I am part of a new life. One that is sober with sober people.

IMHO every 6 days doesn't sound like a relapse, it sounds like you're not done drinking.

I've been here with you since the start. People can and do quit. Obviously what you're doing now isn't working by itself. Perhaps it's time to look at a more active approach where you can practice sobriety outside of your house.

I understand that your husband isn't thrilled with you quitting. That's why some sort of step group might help you get the moral support you really need for quitting alcohol and do it in a meaningful way.

SSIL75

That was me. But really I didn't want to quit. I felt like I had to/should quit.

Once I really believed that every part of my life would be better with NO ALCOHOL EVER , things changed.

Nothing good can come from me drinking. Can you say the same thing? Until I understood that I was pissing in the wind, really.

Dee74

I never got past the 3 day bit usually.

I kept going back to drinking until I accepted drinking was not a viable option for me anymore.

I had a lot of reasons I used to keep drinking - I didn't want to change my life, I didn't want to be different, I didn't want to lose face...I was intelligent stubborn and resourceful - I could control this....

3 months of sobriety later I looked at all those things in a very different way - it's amazing how my addiction shaped me and my perceptions.

Once I accepted my lot, the days ceased to matter - it was a whole new life...a whole new ballgame.

To paraphrase an old TV catchphrase, I used my stubbornness ingenuity and resourcefulness for good instead of evil - and I'm loving it

I've never regretted it

D

Cog

I think (for me) the time has come to just be honest with myself. This cycle of weekend (sometimes longer) binges that I am on at the moment are really just failed attempts to quit.

It's very strange. If I say to myself "I know I can moderate, I've done it before, all I need to do is stop for a few months then go easy after that" it is impossibly difficult and I feel like a fraud. However, if I accept that I am an alcoholic, and that I cannot moderate (for long), it just feels honest, like my true identity.

Even if I could stop for a while, yes, I would moderate for a while. Then I would have periodic binges punctuated by moderation, then continuous binges while I tried to stop in between.

The idea of stopping for a while (under the delusion that I will then moderate) is impossibly difficult (and I haven't managed it yet anyway). However, the idea of quitting for good with the knowledge that I am an alcoholic and cannot maintain moderation is so much easier, because it feels real, who I am, and I am no longer lying to myself.

Missy7

From reading on SR, I am so surprised that the weekends have such a big impact on so many people. Oh, don't get me wrong, I know I have a weekend problem, but seems everyone does. I just thought I was a weakling.

But in this thread, I really just wanted us to talk about the idea...and I think my answer that it's the weekend, no matter how many days that falls from the quit.

4thekidz

I found that the desire to quit can easily be trumped by the subconscious desire to cycle. We convince ourselves that this time is the real deal (but really not), just a superficial chance to stump, to seem "normal," and exclaim (or try to convince yourself, others)" I'm not really an alcoholic...SEE??!!"


Then IT hits you....and IT can be very different things to different people...that epiphany (or revelelation for the pious)....I. AM. AN. ALCOHOLIC.

Anything less propagates the sham.....go deeper....and

welcome to step one

Boleo

I had a 14 - 30 day relapse cycle. For me it was never a matter of forgetting I had a problem. I knew for certain I had a problem but around 2 weeks I felt like I was suffering more without alcohol than with it.

I had to find a way to end my suffering before sobriety was worth having.

grateful101010

The demon alcohol has many tricks in its bag. The "I was good all week; I deserve a drink" is one trick thought the demon alcohol inserts in your brain. So that you will keep the demon alive.

You think you are thinking these thoughts, but you're not, it's the alcohol taking over your thinking. Don't let it.

serious

at least for me the weekend was always a time to "unwind", after all i had a hard week at work (and even gym in not so distant past)...
in the early days, when i was clearly crossing over from social drinker to alcoholic, i would rarely drink during the weekdays, which gave the false sense of having control over the problem. it didn't take very long before "unwinding" started happening on a much more frequent basis...

frances2011

Hi missy7, I'm still here, you responded to my first post. My sober date is march 1 so i hang with the march people. I know what you mean about wondering what happened to people.

I find weekends harder than the week routine. Been thinking about you and am glad you posted.

rubennbl

The best I have done lately is two weeks. It's the weekends for me as well when I end up going out to clubs and bars with my friends. That's the only reason I drink when I'm in that environment. When I stay away from those places, I can go pretty long without drinking.

I am so glad I have found this site.. Tired of relapsing over and over and relying on alcohol.

LaFemme

I usually relapsed within 16 hours....seriously. for 5 years I quit every night...poured the wine down the drain many times...woke up certain that I wouldn't drink and by 2:00 o'clock I was itching for a drink. A couple times a year I might get a couple days. I've seen it said that its not really relapse in those cases...just taking a break. In all that time the longest I made it was 5 or 6 days...which is why I don't consider those proper relapses. Were I to drink today it would be a relapse. Thankfully I have no desire to drink these days and with work that will never ever change.

Terminally Unique

Dangerous, perverse "wisdom" - best not to count on those "bottoms" for motivation - they tend to have trap doors.

One can easily get to thinking "well, maybe I haven't hit bottom yet, and things still haven't gotten that bad, really, so bottoms up!"

Things can always get worse, and they will. Until you hit the only real bottom, of course, which is six feet under.

Terminally Unique

I went through many three or four day off, then back on cycles. Quitting just for today ended up not cutting it. Had to be for keeps.

StPeteGrad

There was a guy in our meeting tonight that was on AA leave. His last relapse got him 2 years jail- where he gets to go back to and sleep tonight.

This is the paradox of alcoholism - we have to surrender to win.

Zencat

Having gone through a lengthy period of constant relapses in the past with recovery. I was the drink/drug, recuperate and do it all over again type.

Learning how to live life alcohol/drug free came from me being resourceful, determined and focused.

I'm shifting my energies from analyzing the problem of alcohol addiction to examining my actions to remain sober.

wellwisher

Well said, Zencat.

That is the beauty and simplicity of working a program one day at a time.

I don't regurgitate about yesterday, I live in today, I analyze the day I just went through before I go to bed and look to see what I did right, and if I did something "wrong", I make a mental note and strive to do better tomorrow. I also spend a few moments each day looking at what is good in my life; rather than focusing on the negative.

I stepped out of the lion's den (bars), continued to meet up with friends worth keeping and who still drank on a different basis (breakfast out, trips to the beach instead of the bars etc), and made many sober friends.

Early on, it was helpful when those cravings hit, to "keep playing the tape". The cravings tell you "just one drink, you'll have fun, you worked hard, you deserve it," but if you keep playing the tape, you can see yourself having regrets, falling down the stairs, acting like an idiot, feeling like crap for two days, going through the withdrawals again, etc. (you fill in the blanks).

That little trick worked for me quite well.