Class of March 2011 Part 2
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Class of March 2011 Part 2
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Sober Recovery
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Today was so predictable. It has always been day 5 for me. It has gone this way for so long, my confidence is up, and the previous 4 days have been the most productive I have had in the past 2 years. The craving hits me when I am an easy target, because I feel so good that I forget I have a problem. I really wanted a cold beer today, the weather was so nice and I had no obligations. Did I drink? I think I have learned my lesson one too many times, and I am sticking with my obligation to stay sober this time. The craving has since worn off, in fact I am now laughing at how unimportant having that beer really is. I had a whole day of having a clear mind, and got an entire weeks worth of school work done, which I usually push to the last minute and stress myself out.
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I always started to feel good, then would convince myself that I must have overreacted to my drinking problem because I felt so good....so....
I don't get the logic now, but it made sense to me back then.
Good for you for getting past that Germanos.
D
I don't get the logic now, but it made sense to me back then.
Good for you for getting past that Germanos.
D
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Sober Recovery
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You simply forget, and say I feel fine. "I must have just overdone it last time." I'll moderate this time.. haha yeah yeah yeah. Keep telling yourself that. Plus it is hard to let go of something that is such a part of you. I finally learned that you just have to let go. I told myself that today, "man just let it go... think about everything you accomplished yesterday." It felt like a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulder.
Something feels different this time, I am not sure what it is. I use to just tell myself "I'll take a month off" if I can do that I can control it. I have never felt awakened like I do right now. I know the road will still be tough, but there is no turning back. Last week, I have learned that I have so much more potential than I ever knew. I just need a clear mind and a healthy body. I do not think I would be here if it wasn't for you all, and I look forward to sharing the progress we all make together.
Something feels different this time, I am not sure what it is. I use to just tell myself "I'll take a month off" if I can do that I can control it. I have never felt awakened like I do right now. I know the road will still be tough, but there is no turning back. Last week, I have learned that I have so much more potential than I ever knew. I just need a clear mind and a healthy body. I do not think I would be here if it wasn't for you all, and I look forward to sharing the progress we all make together.
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Join Date: Sep 2009
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LOVE to hear that, Germanos!! I love the 'laughing at how unimportant having that beer really is'. It's so true, but sometimes so hard to believe. Retraining our brains to understand that it doesn't make our lives more fun or enjoyable is tough. Good job! 
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Sober Recovery
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Thanks! Yes that is one thing I have done differently this time, I have changed my entire lifestyle. I am more organized, keep my house clean and make to do lists, make it a point to finish tasks that I start, I cut down on watching tv shows drastically and am reading A LOT more than I ever have. I am really not the same person anymore and it is only day 5. I really like the direction that I am heading so I really hope I do not make a bad decision in the near future.
How are you all doing? Anything new?
How are you all doing? Anything new?
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: The Great White North, eh? Beauty.
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Wow - our big March bus has officially pulled onto the Part 2 Expressway. Right on.
@Rachel1980 - Thanks for the avatar compliment. I actually chose it to remind myself of the main thing I lost through drinking, which is my love of writing music. I just couldn't follow through with anything anymore.
@nancyj - Glad you made it to a meeting - you sound really upbeat!
@yoli - You are too much, man. You'd better keep your raccoon butt on this bus.
@germanos - I've also done the 'take a month off thing'. In fact, I did it the last couple times. For me that just made it easier to give up. If I made it a week then surely I could have made it for a month, right? There's no need to prove it to myself. Same old screwed up logic.
@Rachel1980 - Thanks for the avatar compliment. I actually chose it to remind myself of the main thing I lost through drinking, which is my love of writing music. I just couldn't follow through with anything anymore.
@nancyj - Glad you made it to a meeting - you sound really upbeat!
@yoli - You are too much, man. You'd better keep your raccoon butt on this bus.
@germanos - I've also done the 'take a month off thing'. In fact, I did it the last couple times. For me that just made it easier to give up. If I made it a week then surely I could have made it for a month, right? There's no need to prove it to myself. Same old screwed up logic.
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Join Date: Mar 2011
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hah yeah, I never made it more than 14 days and I didn't even care. The whole F*** it thing. It was always just a state of oblivion, eventually I asked myself why I quit "I like drinking." Then I drink myself into a fever 2 weeks later. Okay wow "I have to take some time off." 1 Week later I feel good again and am at the pub. 
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Somewhere west of the Mississippi
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Seeing a lot of myself in so many of these posts tonight. The whole "take a month off" thing was a good one for a while, the "oh, I really am not so bad, I'm not as bad as THAT drunk over THERE, so I must be able to control it" thing was big for me at one time, too.
This one feels different for me too. I feel like I have the stubborn conviction in me now to see this through. Always in the past I felt (knew) I was letting myself have just a leeeetle bit of wiggle room and that's all it takes. This time I'm so sick of this that I just want to do this now and never have to go through it again.
This one feels different for me too. I feel like I have the stubborn conviction in me now to see this through. Always in the past I felt (knew) I was letting myself have just a leeeetle bit of wiggle room and that's all it takes. This time I'm so sick of this that I just want to do this now and never have to go through it again.
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Oak Harbor, WA
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Wow, it's great to know I'm not the only one with that kind of thought process. Up until this weekend, actually, I'd gone 3 weeks sober and convinced myself that I could "just have a couple" beers. I became insanely defensive when my boyfriend told me he was worried I wouldn't, yet 4 hours later I was on the phone slurring every word. I don't have any recollection of the phone call, but it ended our relationship and it ended my desire to keep doing the same damn thing over and over again like it's going to magically change.
I've never been a daily drinker, so it's always been easy to tell myself that I just "party too hard" when I do drink. Initially, I stop, but a couple weeks in I start to rationalize everything. I'm still having a really difficult time convincing myself that even though I don't drink every day, I have a serious problem.
I've never been a daily drinker, so it's always been easy to tell myself that I just "party too hard" when I do drink. Initially, I stop, but a couple weeks in I start to rationalize everything. I'm still having a really difficult time convincing myself that even though I don't drink every day, I have a serious problem.
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Congrats to everyone, sorry I don't know all your names yet!!!! This is a very supportive group Starting day 5 in 15 minutes, each day has been getting easier, although it sure is hard to get out of bed in the morning!!!
Starting day 5 in 15 minutes, each day has been getting easier, although it sure is hard to get out of bed in the morning!!!
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: The Great White North, eh? Beauty.
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@stacylove - Woo! Day 5! I found it hard to get out of bed too at that point - though it wasn't nearly as hard as doing it with a hangover.
@ anchors - Glad to have you on the forum. Being a daily drinker isn't a prerequisite to join...there are plenty of people like you posting here.
Just wanted to give you some food for thought - none of us who drank daily started out that way. I certainly didn't. It took a bad set of circumstances for me to start drinking more regularly, and I just ended up there. I was able to convince myself that my problem wasn't that bad because I only drank after 5:00, but whoops...a couple years later I was having beer for breakfast.
The fact that you aren't able to stop at a couple despite some pretty heavy consequences is an indicator that you might get into some trouble in the future.
@ anchors - Glad to have you on the forum. Being a daily drinker isn't a prerequisite to join...there are plenty of people like you posting here.
Just wanted to give you some food for thought - none of us who drank daily started out that way. I certainly didn't. It took a bad set of circumstances for me to start drinking more regularly, and I just ended up there. I was able to convince myself that my problem wasn't that bad because I only drank after 5:00, but whoops...a couple years later I was having beer for breakfast.
The fact that you aren't able to stop at a couple despite some pretty heavy consequences is an indicator that you might get into some trouble in the future.
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Oak Harbor, WA
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I appreciate the welcomes.
Bevin, I agree with that. I know in my heart that the day I turn 21, which is still a few months off, and I can buy myself whatever I want, whenever I want, things could get really really ugly for me. I've put myself and the people close to me through enough. I don't want things to get worse before they get better.
Bevin, I agree with that. I know in my heart that the day I turn 21, which is still a few months off, and I can buy myself whatever I want, whenever I want, things could get really really ugly for me. I've put myself and the people close to me through enough. I don't want things to get worse before they get better.
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: the stable bit of the shakey isles
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Hanging onto the towbar of the March bus here. Day zero but I HAVE to be a Marcher (April-er just sounds WEIRD!). I have been sober for more than half of this month...And I have learnt a lot
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Join Date: Mar 2011
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Wait to go, Germanos!
Hey, Yoli, that March Bus groove you put together cracked me up! Maybe repost it on this thread?
Bevin - Yeah, this bus sure is rollin' along at an impressive clip.. welcome aboard Anchors and hang on, TotallyOverIt.
Off to work my day three.. wishin' all of you a beauty day.
Hey, Yoli, that March Bus groove you put together cracked me up! Maybe repost it on this thread?
Bevin - Yeah, this bus sure is rollin' along at an impressive clip.. welcome aboard Anchors and hang on, TotallyOverIt.
Off to work my day three.. wishin' all of you a beauty day.
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
Good morning, Marchers. I appreciate all the "month off" posts, as that is what I am essentially doing for my Lenten sacrifice. But, I am also examining each day whether my sacrifice should be permanent. Thanks! Glad to be on the bus. March on!
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Join Date: Jan 2009
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Good morning, Marchers! Hey, I managed to get a pretty good sleep last night, and I'm ready to start working on day 5. Evenings are usually the worst for me since that's when I drank, so I expect the day to be okay. I feel pretty good, not exactly energized, but not dragging the way I would if I'd knocked back a bottle of wine or so last night.
Onward we go!
Onward we go!
On my way....
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 326
Bevin, have you started looking to write music again and if you don't mind, what kind of music do you write?
Germanos, I remember saying I was going to take a month off, lol, that was a joke, I may have made it three days! My reasoning was, I'm not hurting anyone and hey, I LIKE to drink! Well, the flaw in my logic is that I was hurting myself and when you get down to it, the actual buzz is never as good as you imagined it would be,.
Laura, glad you're sticking with us, this time also feels different for me. I've toyed with the idea of quitting here and there but never gave it serious thought, because, Hey, I'm not THAT bad. But this time, I feel like I am 30 years old and I really need to get my life on track before it seriously derails at some point - or I destine myself to bad health, a bad marriage, or worse. Quitting now might (more like probably will) save me from a lot of future misery, because as I understand it, this disease is very progressive and eventually we WILL be that drunk over there.
Anchors, I'm really glad you're here!
Hey Stacey! Good to see you, I know what you mean about not wanting to get up! I thought when I quit drinking I would be bounding out of bed at 6 in the morning! Erm, I guess it doesn't help that I stayed up last night (until 2am) watching The Capture of the Green River Killer or (on other nights) posting here til all hours! lol
TOI, glad you're still here, we have to have you (and that very cute pooch) on our bus! I also wanted to make sure my date was in March. Why? Because you people are so awesome!!! Hang on and if you ever need to talk I pop in and out all day, except for when I'm at work on Thursdays and Fridays, and even then I check the site from my phone. Stay with us!!
Nancy, I agree that Yoli should do a repost, that post makes me happy! lol I hope you are also having a beautiful day 3.
Hey Lofty, I'm glad you are here with us today, you have to make yourself happy because this is our one life (unless you believe in reincarnation, then never mind lol) and you have to live it for you! Personally, I started being unhappier drinking, or after drinking then I felt it was worth. I would feign for the buzz and then get it, and be disappointed, it was never what I imagined it would be - it just wasn't worth it anymore. ((hugs))
Howdy to all the others...becoming, mirage, Saphira, Sara1956, Yoli, Mida, Lookinforward, countryrose, bella, Ozgirl (how did you Dr's visit go?), DFeazell, PBC, Akasha, Iancal, kimbie, Willow, elfgirl, Limbo, and anyone else I missed.......let us know how you are! Thinking about everyone.
Plan today is to go to the gym and then come back home and take one of the pups to the vet as she's limping, I think it may be arthritis.
I also wanted to mention that I actually woke up in a good mood today. That is more "me", I've always been the happy-go-lucky, glass is half full, rosy colored glasses type (the rosy part may have been the wine lol) so I felt more like myself today, I have a sunny outlook. I didn't feel like I was missing something (weed), I grabbed my laptop and cigarettes (yes, I went back) and started posting first thing! I love this place, the support here is AMAZING!!!! I absolutely know, without a doubt, that without SR I would be drinking and smoking. You guys rock!
Germanos, I remember saying I was going to take a month off, lol, that was a joke, I may have made it three days! My reasoning was, I'm not hurting anyone and hey, I LIKE to drink! Well, the flaw in my logic is that I was hurting myself and when you get down to it, the actual buzz is never as good as you imagined it would be,.
Laura, glad you're sticking with us, this time also feels different for me. I've toyed with the idea of quitting here and there but never gave it serious thought, because, Hey, I'm not THAT bad. But this time, I feel like I am 30 years old and I really need to get my life on track before it seriously derails at some point - or I destine myself to bad health, a bad marriage, or worse. Quitting now might (more like probably will) save me from a lot of future misery, because as I understand it, this disease is very progressive and eventually we WILL be that drunk over there.
Anchors, I'm really glad you're here!
Hey Stacey! Good to see you, I know what you mean about not wanting to get up! I thought when I quit drinking I would be bounding out of bed at 6 in the morning! Erm, I guess it doesn't help that I stayed up last night (until 2am) watching The Capture of the Green River Killer or (on other nights) posting here til all hours! lol
TOI, glad you're still here, we have to have you (and that very cute pooch) on our bus! I also wanted to make sure my date was in March. Why? Because you people are so awesome!!! Hang on and if you ever need to talk I pop in and out all day, except for when I'm at work on Thursdays and Fridays, and even then I check the site from my phone. Stay with us!!
Nancy, I agree that Yoli should do a repost, that post makes me happy! lol I hope you are also having a beautiful day 3.
Hey Lofty, I'm glad you are here with us today, you have to make yourself happy because this is our one life (unless you believe in reincarnation, then never mind lol) and you have to live it for you! Personally, I started being unhappier drinking, or after drinking then I felt it was worth. I would feign for the buzz and then get it, and be disappointed, it was never what I imagined it would be - it just wasn't worth it anymore. ((hugs))
Howdy to all the others...becoming, mirage, Saphira, Sara1956, Yoli, Mida, Lookinforward, countryrose, bella, Ozgirl (how did you Dr's visit go?), DFeazell, PBC, Akasha, Iancal, kimbie, Willow, elfgirl, Limbo, and anyone else I missed.......let us know how you are! Thinking about everyone.
Plan today is to go to the gym and then come back home and take one of the pups to the vet as she's limping, I think it may be arthritis.
I also wanted to mention that I actually woke up in a good mood today. That is more "me", I've always been the happy-go-lucky, glass is half full, rosy colored glasses type (the rosy part may have been the wine lol) so I felt more like myself today, I have a sunny outlook. I didn't feel like I was missing something (weed), I grabbed my laptop and cigarettes (yes, I went back) and started posting first thing! I love this place, the support here is AMAZING!!!! I absolutely know, without a doubt, that without SR I would be drinking and smoking. You guys rock!
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