DreamAngel

Is there a way to find out if the person is taking Suboxone? I read online and it says that it does not show on a regular drug test... Any ideas?

Thank you!!

DreamAngel

I did.... And he said that he is not taking them, but when I was driving his car the little bag fell out with Suboxone... I guess I know the answer my self....

suki44883

Anvil took my answer!

DreamAngel

close! his excuse was that these were old and he took them while he was still trying to get clean. And he still has that bag to prove me wrong that he's not taking them . Bunch of BS... oh and that if he was taking suboxone he wouldn't be taking AMBIEN to go to sleep.

DreamAngel

i hope so... first in was methadone, then hell, relapse, clean, relapse, and now i'm guessing suboxone... great

hello-kitty

Hi. Good to see you! Sorry that you're still dealing with the same song and dance though - trying to make a relationship with someone you can't/don't trust is exhausting. Did you ever end up marrying him?

DreamAngel

hello-kitty, No we never got married, I actually stayed away from him for 3 month. Tried to date, went out with friends, started medicall school and then I found out that he went to detox and few weeks after that we started talking again. He started going to kick boxing gained few lbs but now these pills... I guess some people never change

Kelrunran

What I have found is that I don't even need to ask the question "are these yours", "are you using", "where were you last night" etc. These questions just set me up and it really didn't matter. I can tell when my AS was clean so just having the "feeling" that I needed to ask the question, pretty much answered the question. The answers to these were of no value.

It's part of what I used to do as a codependent, constantly! Well now we kicked our AS out. I pray to my higher power to take care of him and cry when I need to but I (we) am moving on. I have found that it is a tough and exhausting way to live. I also attend meetings regularly which has helped me a lot.



Take good care ((())). Kelly

outtolunch

When someone is in a Suboxone Program, they are prescribed the medication. MDs/pharms do not put meds in plastic bags.

Sounds more like Plan B, if the DOC is not available or something to trade for the DOC.

Oh well. Either accept him as is or move on, cause the the tween place is called hell.

DreamAngel

Thank you!!
Yes I know that he is probably taking it. And he called today and said that he wants to talk to me about the whole suboxone thing and its not a telephone conversation... he will come over tonight .
I've been helping him, i feel like i need to finish this process... and let him make his own choices. Really, by him telling me that he is confused and he doesn't know what to do , and that he is scared to relapse? there is nothing I can do, right?

DreamAngel

Outtolunch,

Yes, my gutt is telling me that he takes these everyday. He sees his addiction specialist once a week and he prescibes him AMBIEN for his insomnia thats he's having after getting clean. His excuse is that he wouldnt be having insomnia if he was on suboxone. but I guess tonight i'll find out more... hopefully!

DreamAngel

anvilhead,
helping, by staying away and let him find the way to his recovery... and when he got clean i came back.
He also wants my advise about a job offer that he got, its good money, but in the area where he used to get his drugs. I said that it is up to him, of course there is a bigger chance of him relapsing while he is there. but on the other hand, you cant hide, you got to face it....

outtolunch

People serious about recovery do not buy drugs off the street in plastic bags.

The effects of Ambien are similar to that of benzos, like Xanax and Valium.

I have had chronic insiomnia for years and have never once taken anything to assist sleep. I know that sooner or later the body wears out and will sleep without any medication.

DreamAngel

Anvilhead,

You are right...
as to the reason he would lie? because he knows that if I found out that he is on Suboxone i would leave him again...

DreamAngel

what do you think I should advise him about that job? ... take it and u might go back to using heroin.... or don't take it but you still might go back to using..... hmmm....

hello-kitty

I'm sure you'll make the right choice based on all the information that you have.

Keep us posted on how the conversation goes tonight?

I'm curious what his next story is going to be.

I recently found a crack pipe in my ex's bag when he came over to visit his son. He said it wasn't his. He said he didn't know it was in there.

But you know what? Who cares what his excuse is. I could go round and round if I listened to his stories and tried to get "proof" he was using drugs. Even if I caught him with the pipe in his mouth he'd still lie because thats what addicts do. They lie to protect their addiction. It's not about you. It's not about me. Addicts are sick people and we cannot save them. No advice we give will help them. They won't quit using drugs until they are done using drugs. And we can't help them reach that point.

I won't accept excuses anymore.

You shouldn't either.

DreamAngel

hello-kitty, did you go thru his bag?
Yes all the story's that they make up are ridiculous!!!
I'm focusing on my self, staying VERY busy but Its hard to stay away and watch him make the wrong step once again.

Beantowngirl

Be careful with this conversation. My ex used to lie-lie-lie right up until he knew I had caught on, and then all of a sudden he would have a big confession about how much he had been struggling, and how he had messed up, and how he was now on the right track, and how sorry-sorry-sorry he was. His timing was impeccable and it kept me hooked in for a long time. I would go straight from being mad he was lying and ready to walk away to feeling relieved that he was coming clean with me and resolving to stick around to see what happened.

It's harder to walk away when you feel like they've 'turned a corner', but when it is one corner after another that is a maze you will have a hard time finding your way out of.

coffeedrinker

how did the talk go, angel?

you know about the tactic "a little truth inside a larger lie" don't you? if they "confess" and tell a portion of the truth, yet are still being dishonest about their lifestyle, it feels like they have come clean, when in fact it is very calculating. he probably wanted the stall time to work out what he was going to say to you.

for what it's worth, i think he scored the sub on the street, and hangs onto it for the times he can't or doesn't want to use -- what is his d.o.c, heroin? that will keep him out of withdrawal

hello-kitty

Yes. I did. (I know... I know... I heard somewhere you're not supposed to do that.):-)

It was lying there - it was open - and it was STUFFED with loose crumpled up papertowels which is total crackhead behavior. I knew what I was looking for and I found it. He tried to tell me it wasn't his. Then he tried to tell me he didn't know it was in there. but I wasn't born yesterday... so I kicked his butt out of my house immediately and he hasn't seen me or his son since.