cassandra2

I ask because my x is currently in a pretty intensive program and is still acting like an addict.

He is angry with me because I walked away. Treats me terribly. He has only been there a week but to me he is getting worse.

I also found out today that he is called his md's office for his next script of oxy's!!!!!! I dont really know how he was gonna fake a drug test but addicts are pretty resourceful when it comes down to it. He voluntarily went to rehab and I guess he is just going through the motions. He is on suboxone but to me its not really doin anything but keeping him from going through withdrawals.

I had so much hope. I should have realized when another addict said "Man I've never known an addict that would voluntarily go to rehab so easily, I'm pretty proud of him".

It just kills me that all week I have been praying that he receives this like a sponge and really starts to move in the right direction. Now he just spews even more hate towards me. Its sad really very sad.

How can you go to a program and act like your just there to take the tour not actually do anything?

Sugah

I probably "faked" my way through the first three weeks. It was only during the last week (when I was already a month clean--I detoxed seven days before going) that recovery started looking desirable to me.

We don't change over night, or in a week. That's why most programs are 28 days minimum, and they're only a starting point. You don't come out cured.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

cassandra2

Thanks for your reply. Did you also try to fake your way back into substance abuse? I just cant believe he had the nads to call his doc office and ask for a refill!!!!!!

What was he thinking? I cant understand why it hasnt dawned on him that he should go out and get a job and pay his bills. Why would you think that you could participate in rehab but still be a drug dealer??????

I know I probably was expecting too much but come on you have to be dead in your head to think that......

madriley

I have never been to rehab myself although if I could afford it and had someone to take care of my kids I would go willingly. I think the difference is if the addict has had enough or not. From my personal experience with detoxing the last two weeks and now trying to recover, the first week I was detoxing at home I was in an alright mood. I was actually still getting little "surges" of happiness and I felt great. This week I am irritable, impatient, grumpy, tired, sad, mad, depressed, you name it. I don't know how long your bf used for but I know especially with Oxy's (that was my drug also) the more you do them the more numb you get. You think that you are living a normal life and the drugs are allowing you to do that but they just kind freeze up your mind so you do not process any real emotion. Now that he is getting clean those emotions are going to start surfacing. Hopefully rehab will teach him how to COPE with these emotions as that is a top reason why people start using in the first place because we do not know how to deal with life in general.
The only thought I have about him calling in his next script (and I am trying to think on the positive side) is maybe he plans on selling them and making money? I say this because my brother who is pretty much close to a hopeless Oxy addict gets a script of them every month. For the last year or so he has been buying Suboxone off the street and every month he says he is just going to fill his script so he can get money, that never happens though, he makes enough to pay for the script and the rest goes up his nose.

I have never been on the other side of an addicted boyfriend so I do not understand everything you are experiencing, but I am on the side of the addict and I know that even when I was my worst towards my husband it really was not about him at all. It was me being angry with myself or someone else and who better to take it out on than the person closest to you? I am not saying that it is right or fair but I am trying to hopefully help you understand him a little more. I hope at least some of this helps a little.

Pam08

Well, i am an alcoholic, I went to out patient rehab, which sounds like what your x is doing. If out patient, they drug test you every morning...urine test,, if you fail..i am not sure what they do..kick you out?? not sure.....he is in first week...it is intense and the first week is stressfull, After my first week the therapist pulled me aside and said that he didnt think I was in it..that my head was not there..but by the last week..i was totally in it...so don't go on the first week thing..and another thing..i did relapse once during it..i went and told the therapist next time i went ot rehab......it doesn't work over night...and if he really wants it he will do what he needs to do in the long run...it is not easy....I do not know if you talk with therapist..where i went..my husband had consult..he should tell yo uhow he thinks he is doing..and you can say what is on your mind....goo dluck..and just remember..this takes a life time...there is no cure.. god bless

Sugah

No, I've been clean since rehab. 10/28/2002.

The rehab I went to notified (with my permission) all my medical providers. When I was serious about staying clean (which, like I said, was a few weeks into my stay), I signed releases so that the rehab could send a letter to every doctor I'd seen in the past year, including my dentist, to notify them that I was in treatment for opiate addiction. After that, I didn't have to worry about calling for refills.

Um, I don't know how the doctors in your area work, but here, a refill for oxycontin must be picked up at the doctor's office. It cannot be faxed, mailed, etc. It cannot have "refills" but requires a new prescription each time it is filled. So, if he's sitting in rehab, calling the doctor's office wouldn't do him much good. Unless, of course, he's planning to be out soon.

I also can't see how he could either get a legitimate job or continue dealing drugs while being in rehab...??

Peace & Love,
Sugah

Sugah

Oh.....outpatient? Why not inpatient? Just curious.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

Pam08

I read the post by sugah..when you do the paperwork, you do not have to put doctors or anything down..it is a privacy thing...my records can not be seen by anyone but people at the rehab center..no doctors, no therapist, not relatives....that is an option...just thought i would let you know

Pam08

Sugah, my insurance wouldnt pay for inpatient..didn't think I needed it..i told the ins. company I guess I should have been drinking a half gallon a day instead of a 1/5 maybe i would have needed inpatient.....ins. dont want to pay nowadays......I wanted inpatient..

madriley

Tell me about it Pam! I actually went in to the head of my insurance company in tears and told them I needed help couldn't handle it, I wanted to stop, everything, they told me to file a claim fighting my denial and I still lost. I told them I was documenting everything and if anything happened, everyone would know that I tried to get their help and was denied. Not that it fixed anything but I was angry so it just came out...Insurance companies suck...

Pam08

Yeah they do..this is the first time I have taken a claim on them in 4 years....same company..just thru two different employment companies....and they have been holding out paying for anything ,as they wanted to know if i had a pre existing condition....geeez...i have blown up at them a 100 times..I still dont' know what or if they have paid...unreal....scares me to get help when i need it.i am not rich enuf to pay outof pocket......better off if you don't have a job..and no insurance....it is free...the rehab i mean..

cassandra2

Ok I am gonna try to cover it all. Insurance would NOT cover inpatient. The program he is in drug tests each morning. If you abuse at all they give you an "out". Call the clinic within 12 hours of relapse and we wont kick you out. Come up positive on your drug test we kick you out.

I am positive he wants to sell the script because he moved out and in with a relative telling her he would pay half of the expenses. He has NO JOB. This person is an idiot.
So I told the doc office about him abusing the scripts and they called the clinic. I am sure that he did NOT sign a release to contact the docs office. But what I am curious about is when the docs office calls the rehab center to inquire wouldnt they confront him.

Sorry dont remember who said it but someone said their therapist recognized that they were not in it and pulled them aside.

Do you think that they will talk to him???? I cant understand all of this....

Missybuns

yep! and faked it all! cheated their urinalysis testing (wont tell how) started going to meetings...did all the assignments and "graduated" I lied that I was clean at the NA meetings and received the key tags!

then when I was finally done using....I went back to the same facility and had the same counselors and got honest.

I knew what their treatment consisted of...I'd had a head start! They welcomed me back and I began my real recovery.

I attended an outpatient program. The first exposure to their program(when i was still using and faking being clean) was a minimum of 16 weeks...I completed it in 21 weeks. Then when I went back more than a year later the same counselor put me into an abbreviated program of 5 weeks. See, he knew that I knew what to do and he knew I had a foundation for my recovery if I would just root my self into it and build on it.

I have been clean and in recovery ever since!

I not only cheated the treatment program and got away with it....I cheated the probation deptartment for 15 weeks in a row(pre-trial agreement)...then for the following year at random.

It was total hell to keep using and lie that I wasn't. My experience is that when I was on my own (out of the watchful eye of the law) and alone with my continued and progressive addiction did I reach a point of surrender. If I didnt stop for myself and for no other reason but to save myself....I would die.

Today I am free!
The members of Narcotics Anonymous welcomed me home. (and I had never left!) I got honest and they embraced me.
Gratefully recovering,
Missybuns

Sugah

Yes, that's right, Pam. If I didn't want them to be notified, they wouldn't have been. Having come into rehab with a lot of pain issues, I talked to my counselor there, told her I feared going back out because my physical health made it easy to rationalize.

That doesn't mean that I could never have strong pain meds prescribed. When I crushed my leg, I had no choice. But, for chronic pain, no doctor was going to prescribe opiates for maintenance. And that's what I wanted.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

cassandra2

I also have to add that every month like clock work the doctors office MAILED his scripts!!! I am unaware of any laws that prohibit them from doing that. I put them on notice so now I would think they are liable.

Pam08

From my understanding, if his doctor calls.they won't reveal anything to him, unless your x gave auth....so I am unsure if they will llisten to the doc...cofidentiality means they cannot acknowelge that he is there...see what i mean....if they are smart they will take the tip in hand..but not sure.....I guess Missy can get thru a urine test...soooo..who knows, he might know also, i know I can drink a 1/5 of liquor and blow a 0.0 12 hours later..we figure this stuff out....
I was the one pulled aside...if the therapist running the show there is as good as the one I had in rehab..they see alot more then we think..doesn't matter what he says..he will be picked up on, i guess body language, etc......the therapist at my place was very good....couldn't fake it with him...he could pick up on bi polar people, why people did drugs or drank..the root cause..etc.......
I guess you will have to see what happens..it all boils down to..does he really want to stop the insanity and be clean..if he doesn't..he won't..if he does.he will follow the path to recovery...he might have relapses.i did..but we can still do it.. he has to want it bad though... good luck,,keep us posted.

Missybuns

I wanted to add that my main motivation for treatment was to stay out of prison. Even though I "jumped through the hoops" so to speak...I knew deep down I needed help and that I was spiraling down into my addiction. I just wasn't done yet. I had motivation to fake it....I wanted to keep using but save face and freedom from lock up. I didnt wait to get sentenced to treatment I jumped at the chance. I had no idea I would choose to keep using...but I did! I really wanted to be done when I chose treatment voluntarily, I just wasn't quite there yet.

However, it was my exposure to treatment that introduced me to Narcotics Anonymous and that is where I found my path to freedom.


In my state:
I had to sign releases for any records to be released. Courts ask for them and get them if they are warranted. I'm pretty sure most licensed treatment facilities with counselors licensed their state are under some sort confidentiality agreements no matter what state you are in as far as the US goes. These laws may vary from state to state.

cassandra2

I pray that somewhere in all of this he too finds recovery. I believe that I saw the hand of GOD today. It was a miracle that I intercepted that phone message from the docs office and that they even bothered to call ME back and not only that but that I had the COURAGE to tell them the truth.

I can only have faith that maybe someday he will forgive me for that and realize that I didnt care if he liked me anymore all I care about is his very LIFE. I care if he lives or dies. I want to be able to tell our daughter that I did everything I could to save her father. It is my responsiblity to do what I can. I thank you all for your responses. I am trying very hard to keep the faith and when I see responses like all of yours I continue to have a small flicker of hope that he will come back and be better then he was before.

OhBrother

My sister has been back in her 2nd round of rehab for about 2 weeks now. Outpatient
at a clinic that treats both the physical addiction and offers counselling. She did well the first time around there for a few months before relapsing. (oxy and percs were her problem).
Now she' 2 weeks in, and I'm keeping a much closer eye. The problem is, like Cassandra, I haven't seen much improvement and I'm also worrying over questions like "is she faking it?"
She goes about twice a week and has a urine test everytime. They have been tweaking her methadone levels to find a stable level that works. She's also about a month pregnant this time around.
If anything she seems worse to me now on some days... more lethargic, moody, sounding dopy sometimes when I call. But maybe its the methadone, maybe its the hormones, stress etc. Or maybe its because I'm paying so much attention I'm only noticing these things for the first time.
I hate wondering the worst. Is she taking percs on top of the meth? Can she fake urine tests? Is she not taking the methadone at all?
I called her doctor and told her I had a million questions, so she'll see me when I go with my sister to her next appointment on Monday.

sunflower1776

Cassandra--I may have missed this somewhere, but what was his drug of choice? It is ILLEGAL to mail scripts for certain opiates. Let me get this correct though just in case we are all thinking something different--he is getting a piece of paper in the mail with his script written on it? Or, maybe this is what you mean--he has mail order pharmacy and gets his meds delivered monthly through them so he gets the pills sent monthly? My prescription coverage had a mail-order pharmacy and oxycodone (my doc) was on their plan--I never used it (lied that I was so I could get a 3-month script). So I want to be clear on what we're talking about--I'm assuming you mean he is getting a written script in the mail. Back to this then--it is ILLEGAL to do that! Your doctor's office could be held highly liable for something like that. That's why I'm asking what his doc is because some scripts can be mailed depending.