yep! and faked it all! cheated their urinalysis testing (wont tell how) started going to meetings...did all the assignments and "graduated" I lied that I was clean at the NA meetings and received the key tags!
then when I was finally done using....I went back to the same facility and had the same counselors and got honest.
I knew what their treatment consisted of...I'd had a head start! They welcomed me back and I began my real recovery.
I attended an outpatient program. The first exposure to their program(when i was still using and faking being clean) was a minimum of 16 weeks...I completed it in 21 weeks. Then when I went back more than a year later the same counselor put me into an abbreviated program of 5 weeks. See, he knew that I knew what to do and he knew I had a foundation for my recovery if I would just root my self into it and build on it.
I have been clean and in recovery ever since!
I not only cheated the treatment program and got away with it....I cheated the probation deptartment for 15 weeks in a row(pre-trial agreement)...then for the following year at random.
It was total hell to keep using and lie that I wasn't. My experience is that when I was on my own (out of the watchful eye of the law) and alone with my continued and progressive addiction did I reach a point of surrender. If I didnt stop for myself and for no other reason but to save myself....I would die.
Today I am free!
The members of Narcotics Anonymous welcomed me home. (and I had never left!) I got honest and they embraced me.
Gratefully recovering,
Missybuns
Last edited by Missybuns; 11-21-2008 at 05:14 PM.