drshopperhelp

Hello this is my first time admitting that I have a problem, I am addicted to pain pills. It started out w/ a hysterectomy, the doc messed up and burned my ureter. After having painful surgeries to fix it, i was taking pain medicine daily for treatment. Then the doc sent me to a pain clinic to manage pain that I am told I will have the rest of my life. I have been going to a pain clinic for two years now this past August. Today I went for my normal visit where I would have received 120 Lortab 10's. I would take two to three at a time because I had become ammuned to the effects of them. Well I would run out after about two weeks or shorter some months. I have club feet, so I have a ortho doc, and he would give me 40 tabs of 5/500 tabs. That would not last me as long. So I would turn to my primary care doc, and receive Ultram to get me through. This month has been hard on me, we have lost our home, and I admit most of the time I was taking the meds to feel good, but also to feel normal physically. Without the pills I would begin getting w/ draws w/ in hours of taking my last dose. Well today when I went to the pain clinic he had a paper that showed my pattern of asking two other doctors for the same medicine. He told me he could no longer treat me, and I left his office, not knowing what to do next. I have been blacklisted, and cut off. All my doctors will receive letters of my drug seeking, and will now have a choice if they want to see me or not. I know what I was doing was wrong, but had no idea its illegal until looking on the internet. Well this is a definate wake up call for me. Please if any one knows what will happen to me now tell me? AM I going to jail? Will the police knock on my door? What should I do, I don't care about the pills anymore, just my freedom? I have never SOLD them, or committed prescription fraud. I know I am black listed now. Which is fine, I feel this is God sent, and saved my life. I hope none of you think badly of me... I have never been in trouble w/ the law, never even a speeding ticket. The story goes deeper though, my husband is not forgiving of this sort of thing. He will divorce me, and take my kids if he finds out. I want to get help and stop w/ out him knowing, is that possible? I have no one to turn to, and I don't want to feel the w/ draws. I feel confident, I will never touch them again... for fear of going through this again. I am so scared of my kids, husband finding out. I have read about suboxone clinics? does insurance pay, is it outpatient, and does it work? Please give me advice... I am very scared to loose everything that I hold dear. I know its my own fault, and I know I have done wrong, I am just so sorry and want to be forgiven and a chance to change. If your reading this and you are doctor shopping, STOP... they will find out, trust me. Insurance and Pharmacies talk... and they will tell the doctors you are seeing. Plus w/ all my reading, it is a felony.

lostbutterfly

Hi. Don't have experience of the US system. It's impossible to doctor shop here because we have a national health service.

Don't feel bad, you haven't done anything a thousand people before you haven't. And trust me, no-one here will judge you. I used to steal other people's pain meds without the bat of an eye!

There is lots of info here - take a look at some of the other suboxone threads here, I know there is a link on one of them to sub doctors. Good luck, hun!

Stubborn1

Yes they could prosecute you if they wanted to. Chances are they probably won't but no promises. I would suggest you looking into a treatment program because you need one.
This is illegal. And if you know you are an addict and you have children then you hopefully do what's right.
Best of luck.

madriley

I know a couple of people who have gotten caught doing the same thing and they were just cut off from their doctor. Two of them found different doctors who again prescribed them the meds. I guess it just depends on what the doc decides to do. Not a good idea, especially if you know there is a problem. The best thing for you to do would be to enter into a program. If you can't do inpatient then do out patient. I did an outpatient Suboxone program, my insurance covered some of it. It still cost me about $125 a week but it was less than I was spending on my addiction. When I moved and could not get onto Suboxone I started Methadone, which I DO NOT recommend, it was pretty much just like switching my Oxy's for another drug that was just as bad. Best of luck to you, don't lose sight of what the most important thing is right now, for you to get clean.

Kallista

It is unlikely that your doctors will report you for prescription fraud. They're just going to stop prescribing for you.

You need to see a treatment specialist who treats both addiction and chronic pain. There are treatment centers that specialize in this.

And your husband knows. He may not be ready to do something about it, but he knows. Your kids know, too. So the only question is would you rather be their recovering wife/mother who realized her problem and handled it, or would you rather be their practicing addict wife/mother who can't get her stuff together?

ccgirl2

First off, please don't apologize. Some of us may not have done exactly what you've done, but trust me, we've all done stuff we're not proud of.

I truly believe you need your husband now. You can't get through this alone. You also need some kind of treatment plan. I was terrified to tell my husband, but it felt like the weight of the world was lifted from my shoulders when I told him.

As far as legal ramifications, I don't know anything about that.


Just get better and keep coming back here to talk.

ShellySprinkle

i just read your post and i want to tell you i'm sorry for what you are going through. my dad and brother both did the same thing, (doctor shopping), and it made their addictions so much worse. they both died within a year and a half of each other, both of them overdosed accidentally.

now i'm struggling with addiction to painkillers. i started treatment yesterday at a suboxone clinic. i don't have chronic pain, but at least i'm not going through withdrawals. the medicine really helps me to feel better. in fact, i feel better than i did while taking the lortabs.

i would google for a directory of doctors in your area that offer a suboxone program. i assume you have insurance, but there are some places that accept insurance and some that don't. that's how i found my doctor. you can call whatever offices are near you and get info on each one about the program and costs.

it seems since you have been blacklisted, that you really don't have much of a choice other than suboxone. maybe a doctor can help you with resources that can treat your chronic pain without the use of narcotics.

oh, and your husband... i just recently had to admit to my boyfriend about my drug addiction, and he was really p*ssed. but, i explained that i'm trying to get better, and we are now in therapy so he can understand what i'm going through and what he can do to help. you need your husband to get through this, and you aren't going to be able to be treated without him ever finding out. just tell him the truth and that you want to get better. it may take him some time to accept it, but if he really loves you, then he'll stand by you and help you get better.

we're all here for you too!

:ghug2

kj3880

Yep, I had to go through suboxone treatment to get off pain pills too. It was easy to find a good doc, and I liked the treatment. Easy. I urge you to go to at least one NA meeting today and see what it's all about. It helped me immensely. I got the name of my doctor there, and I got the support I needed to face hard stuff about not using, like dealing with feelings and work without drugs. And the folks at NA have done all the stuff you've done and usually more.

Don't feel ashamed about your addiction. You aren't a bad person trying to be good, you are a sick person trying to get well! You didn't plan it, but now you can be the one to recover from your active addiction. Your chances are excellent if you really want to do this.

When you go to the NA meeting, share about how you are afraid to tell your husband and need help with it. Members who have experienced just this situation will pull you up after and talk with you about it.

Wait until you hear some of our stories in NA and on here!!! You won't feel so bad, because we've all done what you have, and most of us, much worse stuff. Don't let that make you think you aren't an addict, just focus on the similarities, not the differences!

At seven months clean from the pain pills, I'm doing so much better, and so can you!
KJ

Thanks2HP

Just wanted to say welcome to SR & I wish you luck finding help. No judgment here!

barb dwyer

Welcome!

Wow. What a starting post.
My friends in 'show biz' used to call what you described as "working the docs".

I agree that you might be in trouble - legally - and I also agree that you've finally admitted that you've got a BIGGER trouble.
Addiction.

And my advice is to focus on that trouble first.

Surely there's a treatment facility - or even the doc who treated you gave you some info on a recovery center? There has to be something.

Well, maybe look at it this way -

Your moment has come.

I hope you'll decide to do what's best for your kids.
There's a solution.
There's always a solution.

This is where your addiciton ... can change your life for the better.

Contacting NA as soon as possible is a good idea.
I hope you keep posting and update us on your choices and progress.

Latte

My doctor was more than willing to refer me to an addictionologist.

Most doctors will not prosocute you but will "fire" you. I would call the other doctors before the reporting ones letters get to them and tell them. One of them will probably give you a referral to an addictionologist. They may also be able to find a pain clinic willing to take you and keep you off of narcotics but still get your pain treated. There are pain clinics out there like this.