Debbie

Hey all

I am going to warn you, right up front, this post is probably going to be a bunch of whining and bitching. Right now I am angry but I can feel myself getting upset.

We all know that my h relapsed recently. Well I guess that wasn't good enough for him. He actually drank all day today while he was out fishing in the boat. He doesn't drive, but he does have a boat and he has his buddies take him out now and then.

Well, when I came home from work, they were still out. I went and laid down and fell asleep. Well, while I was asleep, he came home and instead of waking me up to move my car, he decided to move it. I don't know what exactly happened but I was awoken by a neighbor telling me that he drove my car into another neighbors fence. My car is trashed, he was drunk.

It was a major circus out there, ambulance, police and fire department. He wasn't hurt but with the amount of people out there you might have thought someone was. So any way, he is at the police station. Probably looking at another DWI and he got a little nasty when they handcuffed him to take him in.

Anyway, now I don't have a vehicle and the neighbors fence is trashed. Not sure if my insurance will cover it since the claim lady said I might have to press charges since he didn't have my permission to take the car.

What a night. I think I am still in shock. My adreniline is pumped up.

Anyway, I just needed to vent. I am so mad!! Time to make a plan. I need to get these things fixed, especially the neighbors fence!!

Oh well, I am going to read some posts. Maybe try to calm down.

Thanks for listening.
Hugs,
Debbie

phoenix

((((((((((((((((Debbie)))))))))))))))))))


phoenix

Debbie

Thanks Phoenix, I really needed that. Its all just so unbelievable........I guess I need to try to sleep. I am sure it will all sink in more in the am......just hope I can sleep.

Talk to you later
Hugs,
Debbie

lyn_blossom78

From bad to worse, alright! I guess to look at the bright side (there has to be one, right?) at least you have the house to yourself, and it's peaceful without him doing "things" that drunk people do late at night (this said from experience).

You're in my prayers this evening.

Hugs,

Lyn

Debbie

Ah, the brighter side. There always does have to be one. Yes, its quiet but I have a feeling when he is no longer drunk or they don't want him at the police station, they will be calling me to come get him. Guess what? I don't know if my car is drivable and I am not going to chance it. So guess they will need to bring him home or he will have to take cab.

I have been sitting here crying a little, thinking a lot more. I know I won't be able to sleep yet, so I won't even try. I am a little surprised at myself that I am not more emotional. Oh well, I guess a person can only take so much.

So, I will be hanging out here for a little bit. Maybe I'll make myself a cup of tea and just try to relax. Too bad I don't have my tiara

Thanks for the prayers Lyn

Hugs,
Debbie

smoke gets in my eyes

Hmmm...

I was just wondering... d'ya think he'd have the nerve to ask you to use the money you found to bail him out?

Jon

We're here. Right here, whenever you need us...

Debbie

Hey Smokie,

Ha ha!! I think he would know better. I left a little part out of my story maybe because I just want to think it didn't happen or perhaps I blocked it out on purpose.

When they had him in handcuffs, he came towards me and asked me for my cigarette. I told him to get lost, and don't ask me for anything. He actually went to lunge at me, the cops knocked him to the ground and five firefighters jumped in front of me. Nice guy huh? All because I wouldn't give him cigarette. Not sure if he will remember it or not but if he does, I think he would know if I didn't give him a smoke, I am not bailing him out.

I hope they keep overnight. I really don't think I can deal with him tonight.

I need to make my plans for me. I know I've said it before but enough is enough. I really need to think about me. I was so relaxed and non--stressed when he wasn't drinking. My BP is probably sky high now, good thing I don't go see the doc tomorrow!!

I have a feeling he is going to be an alcoholic that never finds his true way to total sobriety. Rehab after rehab but then no program afterwards. Its such a shame, because he really is the nicest guy in the world sober.

Oh well, look at me rambling on again, sorry about that.

I need to go make that tea

Hugs,
Debbie

Stephanie

Oh my, barbieD

I can't believe it. You poor thing. I'm so sorry this is happening. I wish I lived near you so I could come get you and take you out for some icecream. I know everything will work itself out but I'm sure you feel very overwhelmed right now. When I find myself in situations like this I always find it makes things easier if I try to take things one step at a time. To look at the whole picture is just too overwhelming.

I just want you to know that we're here for you and we love you. You're going to be OK

smoke gets in my eyes

Big hugs Debbie!

Debbie

Thanks Jon and Steph,

I am okay, I think. At least I keep telling myself I am. I don't look forward to the tomorrow. Possibly facing him (maybe even tonight), the whole insurance thing (whether is covered or not) and wondering about how to get to work (I already called my boss and told her I am not coming in tomorrow).

I took the dogs out a little bit ago and now they are sleeping in the living room. I have decided I want to be a dog. Sleep, eat and no worries in the world.

I need that tea. Look at me becoming a real rambling girl

Hugs,
Debbie

Stephanie

I'm pretty sure insurance would cover it. Wouldn't it be under collision? The only thing is....do you know what your deductable is?

You should have your husband fix the fence himself tomorrow with a hangover. LOL

At least it's the weekend and you have some time to process everything and work some stuff out with the car.

I just wish I could do something like drive you to work (as long as you don't mind sitting in the car with 3 screaming kids.

journeygal

(((((Deb)))))

Geez, what a mess. I'm sorry you're going through all of this but I know you'll be fine whatever the outcome. And like Jon said, we're here for you.

Hugs,
JG

phoenix

Ramble all you want.We listen real good.Taking care of yourself...tea,talking...whatever you need.


More hugs

phoenix

osier59

((Deb))

Sorry for what you're going thru. Its a real *#$(*&#$ when THEIR consequences affect US isn't it??

Wish I had some pearls... but I don't. What I can tell you is that you are right, you need a plan. When I still lived with my A, I had a counselor who actually had a written outline of a plan. It had a series of questions to guide me thru things: who could I stay with at a moments notice? Who could I give an extra set of keys to just in case? How much money could I tuck away on a weekly basis for an emergency - and where could I put it?

It was a good exercise... and even if you never need any of those things, its nice to have a bit of that Courage to Change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference.

HUGS to you. Love ya lots
O59

Debbie

Well Steph, Did I ever mention that just because I refer to him as hubby, we aren't really married - kind of like a common law thing.

He's had so many DWIs I actually had to sign a paper saying I wouldn't let him drive my car. That is why the lady said I may have to press charges against him for them to cover it. What a mess! I do have a $500 deductible and I can take that out of a CD I had for an emergency. There will be a penalty but it would be worth it as long as the insurance company pays for the car and the neighbors fence. Yikes, not sure how much fences cost now adays but I know we are looking a thousands of dollars in damage to my car. He may just have to sell his boat if my insurance company won't cover it. I am not getting dropped because of him. This is his mess and he will have to pay the costs of gett

Journey, Thanks. I know you guys are all here for me and this is the first place I came after making all my stupid calls (ins, boss, bank). This is my place of comfort. My safe place

Phoenix, As you can see I am still rambling but at least I have my tea in front of me now.....lol

Thanks everyone, you are the best.

Many hugs,
Debbie

Debbie

Osier, Thanks!

I have many things to do for me. My head is starting to spin, probably over tired and its all still unbelievable.

The police just called, they are sending him home in a cab. I asked them if he was sober and okay, and they said yes, "that he is being real good". I told them if he came home and started anything I would be calling them to come back and get him. I am not dealing with a confrontation tonight.

I hope he has some money for the cab because I went to the bank and deposited the money for bills and all I have is $20 bucks, maybe they will take him back to jail for non-payment of cab

Hugs,
Debbie

margo

((((((((((((Barbiedeb)))))))))))) Extra big hugs to you tonight. I'm SO sorry to hear your news - it is just so unfair. If I could, I would come over and make your tea for you - I make the best cup of tea hands down!

If he starts anything, I mean anything, with you tonight don't hesitate to call the cops - you stay safe!

I wish you a good night's sleep in spite of it all. And I'm glad to know you took tomorrow off. That will give you a few days to try and regroup.

Whatever you decide to do, we are here for you - so lean on!

Much love, hugs, and support to you, Barbiedeb.

Debbie

Margo, Thanks. I think I finally am winding down a bit. Actually feeling a little tired. Yikes, I don't look forward to tomorrow. What the heck was he thinking? I think my cup is just about full now!! All I can handle, time to take a little bit away. I guess I am the only one that can do that.

Oh well, I think I am going to go try to relax and say a little prayer that when he comes home, he just leaves me alone. I think I will keep the cell phone by my side.

Thanks again.

Many hugs,
Debbie

margo

Good question! Better yet, why WASN'T he thinking.

Good idea with the phone. Hopefully he will have the sense to just leave you alone tonight. I know how you feel, Debbie - it is just too exhausting mentally to deal with it at this time.

Try to get some sleep.

Thinking of you!