Cross-talk
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Cross-talk
For those here who attend Al-Anon, cross-talk is a familiar term. Many meetings discourage it. Cross-talk at most of my meetings means commenting directly on another's share, talking while another is sharing, etc.
I like the suggestion of no cross-talk. I have never seen anything good come from the cross-talk that happens here sometimes. Calling someone to task for the way they respond to a post is going way past the end of my nose. I can make my comments, even if they are contrary to someone else's post, without taking them on personally.
My thought for tonight and love to all.
I like the suggestion of no cross-talk. I have never seen anything good come from the cross-talk that happens here sometimes. Calling someone to task for the way they respond to a post is going way past the end of my nose. I can make my comments, even if they are contrary to someone else's post, without taking them on personally.
My thought for tonight and love to all.
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So cross talk on here just means if you comment negatively on something someone else posted for the sake of arguing a point, right? Not if you acknowledge something helpful, or take something someone else said and relate to it or expand on it?
I don't think I'm sure what this term is and I've seen people mention it before... So apologies if I'm guilty of doing it!
I don't think I'm sure what this term is and I've seen people mention it before... So apologies if I'm guilty of doing it!
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I don't think it's a rule or anything here, deax. I just like it. I've also noticed when it starts to happen here on SR it usually ends badly. Now I'm trying to control LOL!!!! and I just had a meeting!
Yes, it could be taking someone to task for how they responded. Here's an example. If I don't like the way someone responds, instead of saying, deax, you were way off in saying that, I could say what I would do in a situation, even if that contradicts what the other person said. Don't make it personal. I'm also a big believer in using the PM for that; at my meetings we do the same; I don't "call someone to task" for their share during the meeting. I talk it over with the person outside the meeting.
It's been my experience that it takes away from valuable sharing of experience, strength and hope. I also believe I've been guilty of it.
((()))
Yes, it could be taking someone to task for how they responded. Here's an example. If I don't like the way someone responds, instead of saying, deax, you were way off in saying that, I could say what I would do in a situation, even if that contradicts what the other person said. Don't make it personal. I'm also a big believer in using the PM for that; at my meetings we do the same; I don't "call someone to task" for their share during the meeting. I talk it over with the person outside the meeting.
It's been my experience that it takes away from valuable sharing of experience, strength and hope. I also believe I've been guilty of it.
((()))
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Originally Posted by FormerDoormat 
This is not an Alanon meeting.
I could come up with another term for it. Let me think about it.
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denny....i guess i don't understand either...cross talk has never been mentioned at our meetings ....i guess cause they are very small. if i have done this, i have done it unknowingly, too.
if i respond to a post, and share an example of the same thing happening in my life, and how i felt, what i did.....is that cross talk???
if i respond to a poster in a post, but not the original thread poster, is that cross talk???
if commenting directly on anothers share is cross talk, how do we offer understanding to that person....i do it by relaying a similar incident in my own life, how i felt, what i did, what i wanted, etc.....is that cross talking???
i really don't know, so input would be appreciated.
i don't want to step on others toes, but i know what works for me, and i assume it would work on others, too....yeah, i know....i'm workin on it. lol
anyway, what works for me is examples of what others have felt, done, said, handled it...
i have found that living within the effects of alcoholism, my abstract thinking has been impaired and is slowly returning, but i need concrete examples.
if i have cross talked....i'm sorry. didn't mean to.
love to you
jeri
if i respond to a post, and share an example of the same thing happening in my life, and how i felt, what i did.....is that cross talk???
if i respond to a poster in a post, but not the original thread poster, is that cross talk???
if commenting directly on anothers share is cross talk, how do we offer understanding to that person....i do it by relaying a similar incident in my own life, how i felt, what i did, what i wanted, etc.....is that cross talking???
i really don't know, so input would be appreciated.
i don't want to step on others toes, but i know what works for me, and i assume it would work on others, too....yeah, i know....i'm workin on it. lol
anyway, what works for me is examples of what others have felt, done, said, handled it...
i have found that living within the effects of alcoholism, my abstract thinking has been impaired and is slowly returning, but i need concrete examples.
if i have cross talked....i'm sorry. didn't mean to.
love to you
jeri
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No need to apologize for cross talk. That is an Alanon concept and this is not an Alanon-sanctioned forum, which is why I pointed that out and why I prefer this forum over an Alanon meeting.
Those folks who find cross talk unacceptable, improper, or distracting can refrain from doing so. Those who find it a natural communication style in a group discussion, which is what any topic on SR is IMHO, can do as they please, too.
If cross-talk was discouraged and our opinions not wanted or valued, then why not just allow folks to post their thoughts without allowing others to respond at all?
Those folks who find cross talk unacceptable, improper, or distracting can refrain from doing so. Those who find it a natural communication style in a group discussion, which is what any topic on SR is IMHO, can do as they please, too.
If cross-talk was discouraged and our opinions not wanted or valued, then why not just allow folks to post their thoughts without allowing others to respond at all?
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sorry, jeri, but I wasn't very good at sharing this concept. say i give you my thoughts. someone else, let's say deax, since she shared in this post, comes on and says hey denny lighten up on jeri you've gone overboard and i think what you said was out of line.
if you have a problem with something i say to you, great, let it rip.
i PERSONALLY don't see how that is constructive. if i did it, first, it's not my place to call someone to task and i think i'd be doing it to publicly shame the person. i just PERSONALLY feel it isn't a good idea. i wanted to throw out my thoughts on that, which i've now done.
((()))
if you have a problem with something i say to you, great, let it rip.
i PERSONALLY don't see how that is constructive. if i did it, first, it's not my place to call someone to task and i think i'd be doing it to publicly shame the person. i just PERSONALLY feel it isn't a good idea. i wanted to throw out my thoughts on that, which i've now done.
((()))
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i'm still confused....i thought the purpose of the forum WAS to discuss and share. how can anyone learn anything if all they did was post their thoughts and everyone else just said....sorry your having a rough time,,,keep coming back. back for what???
someone please clear up these muddy waters in my head.
someone please clear up these muddy waters in my head.
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ok...what mr c just did....sorry mr c.....was that cross talk???
and what you did....about wishing him luck....was that cross talk???
cause the thread was about cross talk....not lakers or dr. appnts.
just real cornfused here....bear with me
and what you did....about wishing him luck....was that cross talk???
cause the thread was about cross talk....not lakers or dr. appnts.
just real cornfused here....bear with me
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Originally Posted by Mr. Christian
Hey how bout those Lakers?
Thanks for the clarification, denny. So my understanding then is that it's basically just infighting and directly passing public judgment on another's point of view.
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i give up! forget cross talk already!!! LOL!!!!
i'm kidding - by the way in a meeting that would be considered cross-talk. but THIS IS NOT AL-ANON. I'm going to go look up the concepts of SR now. :-)
i'm kidding - by the way in a meeting that would be considered cross-talk. but THIS IS NOT AL-ANON. I'm going to go look up the concepts of SR now. :-)
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"....i thought the purpose of the forum WAS to discuss and share...how can anyone learn anything if all they did was post their thoughts and everyone else just said...sorry your having a rough time...keep coming back"
My point exactly, Jeri. That said, Denny, I respect your opinion as well. In fact, in the words of my old pal, Equus, I think you're ace! If cross talk bothers you, I shall refrain (as much as humanly possible) from doing so in your threads, unless of course I get thoroughly charged up.
And Mr. C. "how bout those Lakers" LOL!
Since I have now addressed three folks in my one response, I shall admit I'm guilty of cross-talk. But again, unless a poster specifically asks for no responses to their thread, I consider most every thread started to be a group discussion.
I'm sure someone will chime in to tell me I'm wrong. But that's OK, I'm down with that.
My point exactly, Jeri. That said, Denny, I respect your opinion as well. In fact, in the words of my old pal, Equus, I think you're ace! If cross talk bothers you, I shall refrain (as much as humanly possible) from doing so in your threads, unless of course I get thoroughly charged up.
And Mr. C. "how bout those Lakers" LOL!
Since I have now addressed three folks in my one response, I shall admit I'm guilty of cross-talk. But again, unless a poster specifically asks for no responses to their thread, I consider most every thread started to be a group discussion.
I'm sure someone will chime in to tell me I'm wrong. But that's OK, I'm down with that.
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