tennchick9598

I have been taking tramadol, for about 2 years and at my peak, taking up to 30 a day, im at about 15 a day now, this drug scares the hell out of me. I feel like without it, i am not a goo enough person, not as good a lover, mother cook friend, whatever, i will actually cancel events around whether i had enough pills. I have lied to doctors pharamcists family members you name it. I have stolen money from my husband and pawned things to get money for these little "wonders" I am so fully afraid of running out that i get overwhlemed and depressed and think maybe I should just end it all and not have to worry anymore. I have truly thought that before. I would not take mine until nighttime and then take about 20 spaced over 3-5 hours for the High the euphoria, that great feeling. I went to the Dr. today, a new younger one and explained almost exactly what was going on ( i said i was taking about 12 a day) I dont know why i couldnt go all the way telling him but i didnt. He was really nice and understood, of course he wrote me a scrip for 120(no refills() with instructions to taper down(no SPECIFIC) instructions, tho. and i am to gradually introduce neurontin into my system to build up to 300 mg a day of that. How should i taper with only 120 pills left. I am sooooo afraid and would love some advice. I dont really know if i can do this, i am sooooooo DEPENDENT on this drug it is truly terrifying. im not spelling too well today, but can someone help me out, i have lots of the neurontin, and i have about 60 xanax, can anyone give me a REAL plan to follow and help me out of this prison of a bottle? Love to all and prayers to those in my shape,
ps.. I also have a bottle of about 50 xanax, and i really want this to work whats the best to do what the dr. says or the xanax or what???

margo

Hi Tennlady, and welcome to the forums. First, kudos for trying to be upfront with the doctor about your addiction - I know how hard that can be. Unfortunately, we cannot advise you how to taper as we are not medical experts and it would be very irresponsible for any of us to tell you how to attempt it. I would advise you to go back to the doctor, try to give him the full story of how much you're taking (it could make a difference to how much of the other medications you are taking) and ask him to specifically outline a tapering plan for you. It's always best to be honest with your doctors - the majority are very understanding and willing to help, but they need to know all the details to help you the best.

There is some great support on these forums, so keep coming back!

tennchick9598

first of all thank you soooooo much for even replying. that has been the hardest thing to do is to get someone on here to talk to me. I know folks are busy tho. I just cannot say enough what a grip these little wonders have on me and worse, you can order them cod online, and there are tons of sites to buy them on. Because they are so "less likely to be addictive, well, thats not true for me. I collapse completely and fall apart without them. He gave me the 120 sunday and i have like 50 left, i am not doing very well, i am introducingthe neurontin into my system but i dont think that will help. I wonder if the xanax wouldnt be my best bet and then to taper off those too! I dont know so many thoughts, so much stress, and thank you for listening. Whats your story, if im not being too nosy, if so just tell me. Thanks again,

Luckyv2

First off I would like to welcome you to SR and we are glad that you are here I hope that you find peace for yourself. I know it is hard to get off of the dope, no matter what it is, it isn't easy for any of us. We know where you are! You are not alone!

For me, and like so many of us, we had to just surrender that the drugs among many other things had a lot of power over us. I know that there is no way that I could have even tapered off, I had to just not use for right now. Pretty soon, and it isn't easy but you will get a day, then a few day, weeks, months,...but the most important thing to do is not use for right now.

Have you been to any meetings? They help out a hole lot, and there you will find people just like here that know what you are going through. A craving only last for 7 seconds it is our minds that keep playing that thought that makes it last longer. so many do something like read, watch a movie. Do whatever you can to not use dope. Might be a good idea to flush your stash also and not buy anymore.

With Love and Respect

Vic

shockozulu

Welcome to the 12 step forum. Have you gone to an NA group yet?

As for the xanax, you do not want to start switching one addiction for another.

tennchick9598

I know i should flush them but the thought of it makes me want to puke!!! I used to be a heavy drinker, but the pills after back surgeries, replaced that. I like the pills better, so i just replaced one addiction with the other. If dont have tramadol, i will beg, or whatever to get anything else, lortab, percocet,l you name it. I dont like the xanax or valium cuz of the sleepy feeling. the tramadol makes me have SUPER energy, can conquer the world great lover etc. I can go, go go. i dont know what to do!!!

Bozo

I understand so completely, I am so much more productive and effective because the tram helps me to focus, and anxiety and depression are gone when I take it.

But boy I can sure relate to those feelings of being overwhelmed and fearful at the thought of running out and furthermore, I have.

This would be day 1 with no tramadol.

I cant help it, but I think so much more clearly when I take the tramadol and am so much more creative in my approach to my repair work, and I dont get easily rattled or frustrated when I take it.

So far I have had no luck convincing a doctor to work with me and be open to the possibility of tramadol as a good drug for the treatment of anxiety and depression as well as a passive aggressive personality disorder.

Well good luck to the both of us, stay in touch.

tennchick9598

Bozo, its sounds like we are in the same boat, how many do you take a day, i was anywhere from 25-30 now i am at 16a day of my taper program, tomorrow 14, next day 12 etc... while slowly introdcuing neurontin into my system, and i have xanax if i need it. Whats your plan? Whats your story, sorry tro flood you with questions, just so glad to have found someone with my EXACT addiction. How do you think my plan sounds like it may work? Any thougts are welcome!!!!! Lets stay in close touch, maybe we could do better as a team!!!!!!!!

LIL_Pebbles

Hi, new here too. The thing I have found out is this: I want out of the hell I am in, I am sick of being sick and the chase of the drugs which are the mild opiates, I do not like exteme highs from opiates they make me feel as if I am not with it, don't like that feeling and that saved me from going into Heroin anyways...I am on a reduction, B/F hold my pills I can't I will abuse them. money is shot, so like you I am in a position where I want tht high, but have faced the fact that I can't go on like I have done and the pills are not legal, no Rx, I have dealt w/ Rx dealers. Your lucky this is legit Re: you have an Rx and doctor knows, you will have to take as little as possible and if anyone who lives with you, you trust have them hold your Rx and give your doses to you. I don't know about the drug, but I have heard of it.
I can tell you are up, high and no offence, if I am wrong my apology to you.
The very drugs that I take as a reduction are a damn fing tease, but I have to get off these things, I tried a cold turkey, Oh boy thought I was insane and dying, I had a mild seizer sp?I can't go to rehab, nor can I tell my Dr (s) good reasons for that, by the way I have been on Xanax for over 10 years now, never had a issue with that, till I started to crush them and crush the percocette and blow them up my nose and yeah it works, but now I need to see a nose doctor for possible more probable internal injuries, I want you to know that xanax is a drug that is to be taken for 3 months only, going off this drug should be under doctors orders only it can kill a person if they just stop it, I urge anyone who is legaly on them or not to know this, I never thought I would abuse this drug, just to boost a percocette and now? I am low on them, hough enough where i don't go into shock.

anything I typed is to help you and anyone who is reading this.
I am no better than anyone even if right now they are shooting up.

tennchick9598

Well, first you were right, i am high, always, becuz i take like 15-20 a day, and i am doing no good at tapering off, in fact i only have 40 left and that will last two days, so you see how bad I am? I am proud of you that you gave yours to your boyfriend to hold , i tried to do it on my own and failed. I called my doc today and asked him to call in some lexapro to deal with depression, i know i am trying to self medicate something that is wrong with me. I guess when these are gone in 2 days i will just HAVE to go cold turkey, i blew it and i am soooo scared!! I know its gonna hurt, and make me sick and it will be the weekend with everyone here, and me having diarhhea etc, its gonna be awful!!!! I just wish i could have one dang ounce of willpower!!!!!!

Kahlia

Firts of all, Neurontin is used for seizures and mood disorders, I am on it, in fact, I am going from another drug to it right now, I would STRONGLY suggest as an RN NOT to take Xanax as a helper drug, it is so adictive, it is just another drug to get off of. I would seriously go to this Dr. who you say was VERY understanding and tell him the WHOLE truth, he can give you a schedule to detox you right, with NO withdrawals symptoms, you definately do not want them...trust me, I went cold turkey, not the way to go. If you have a choice to get off the tramadol and the Dr. will give you a dosing schedule, get it and get off the damn drug, stay off the drug, YES that is easy to say, It was easy for everybody to say to me 7 years ago but I did it because I did not want to die, like my best friend, my 2 cousins, (heroin od's) my other brother, (took 132 hydrocodene), then my youngest brother, he had been clean from coke for 5 years dies in his sleep....I decided I wanted LIFE...it is the best way to go, trust me....Get your butt back to that Dr. as soon as possible and
NO holds barred, they have heard it all before....they are not your judge.....tell him the HONEST truth....this one time be HONEST.....be ready to LIVE.......I will pray for you......Peace.......kahlia

tennchick9598

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement and advice, you are right I need to get right back to the Dr. I did ask him to call in some Lexapro. I thought that might help with the depression that I am obviously trying to self medicate. What are your thoughts on that?

Luckyv2

Well I am not Kahlia but she is a wonderful person and a good friend! I do take Lexapro and also Cymbalta, it seems to be helping me. I know that with the treatment that I am on that if I didn't take those I would go nuts. LOL Like I am already nuts so anyway I hope that you just be as honest as you can with the Doctor they are there to help.

With Love and Respect

Vic

mackie

Tenny............

I agree with Kahlia on the Xanax. You're just subbing another dangerous drug for the Tramadol. Benzos are highly addictive and have extremely harsh withdrawal symptoms.

Be kind to yourself..............are you able to do a medically supervised detox?? Followed by rehab??

Manipulation is the name of our game..............so in order to get clean and stay clean you need HONESTY, OPENNESS and WILLINGNESS!

Good Luck and keep posting to let us know how you are doing!

LIL_Pebbles

I know how you feel, where you are right now your going through a stage of getting clean for your reconized the addiction and what it is doing to you, what it has, once high all goes out the window for most, I recall being high though and crying high, looking at the crushed pills, just down right scared, the feeeling of running out, I had bought pills on the side at one point in time where i would get high without b/f knwoing, but i told him what i was doing, for i knew the reductions were going down and he is a non active addict too, so he understood and now? pays close attention to me and all, he can tell when i am high for i talk rapid, i am up like you my moood is i have this calmness, yeah the lil wonders, but i know i can not do this anymore, i have wrote a jornal and read that and that sacred me alot, for when i was at my peak of wanting this drug so bad the things i thought about and so on, really crazy stuff...i rather as of now be clean, be free of this chemical chain that takes my money and my life, for two years i lost time, i mean i lost time, an agoraphobic i am sitting in my room ofr two years high day and night, till i stated to get clean and feel again, that was a dam breaking the tears would not stop, i cried for days and relly felt i was going nuts, but i see that this drug and i allowed this drug to do this to me, nothing in my life will get better if i were to use, it would get to the piont i would loose everything and the main thing? Is i would loose myself.

Please stay here, no one will get on you, your being honest, read the storys and pm people , you can do this reduction or rehab? rehab i think that this is what you may need, instead of those pills, how about rehab? pm me anytime, i come on here twice a day or more.

I see that you want to do a cold turkey, on what your on? I really think you need to go to rehab, i know that people have done it, meaning they have done a cold turkey on here and in my life sisters ect...but doing a Ct is different ofr everyone, i am in strong hold that if a person can get to rehab, under professional care to please do so, let me know and in this thread and stay here..scared for you, I know...

tennchick9598

you cant know how much those words help me. Even something as little as kind words mean the world to me. I didnt really want to go cold turkey, just will have to starting SAt. cuz i will be out. The doc wont call in lexapro, he called in celexa, so any thoughts on that? You are so great for keeping in touch with me and helping me out. I am soooo nervous bout Sat, but I think prob Sunday and beyond will be worse. Love to you and thank you

lucyo

Tennlady... have you been to a meeting yet?

the tennessee convention is coming up over thanksgiving weekend in nashville.
it is a great way to spend thanksgiving... clean and with a whole lot of supportive people from all over.

tennchick9598

no, lucy i didnt even know anything abuot it. What is it and what does it entail. I live about 6 hrs away from Nashville, tho

lucyo

its a narcotics anonymous convention.
lots of clean addicts, meetings, workshops, getting to know people, having fun...

http://vrc24.com/

if you can afford it, it would be worth trying to come too.

LIL_Pebbles

I am scared for you, cause you have been on a large dose of this drug and then to stop, then all these medication your doctor is to call in, that makes me even more scared for you. Please think about Rehab, I wish I could go and my reasons are good ones many, I would like to see you under the care of professionals, let us all know how you are doing and remember you can be honest here, no one will get on you, this is one of many places you can be honest and that will make is easy for those who are more in control than I to help you, help yourself. No need for thanking me, though thank you for your kind words...