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Old 09-25-2019, 10:03 PM   #1 (permalink)

Join Date: Sep 2019
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Anxiety, sobriety and love

My girlfriend and I met in an AA program. I know the responses I will probably get because of that. We both have over a year of sobriety before we started dating. But the reason I m here is she is also dealing with anxiety issues. She was taking Zoloft and stopped because she didn't like how it made her feel. It helped a lot but I am trying to be supportive. There is this feeling that I am on a rollercoaster. There are many ups and downs, but I love her and at some point want to marry her. I guess what I am looking for is any advice for me in my situation. How can I help her deal with the anxiety? How can approach he medication topic again and not have her hate me for it? Anything else you can give me for advice. Thanks in advance.
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wiscsober (09-26-2019)
Old 09-26-2019, 07:00 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR erik. My wife and I met in recovery too, and yep it's a rollercoaster but I feel that life should be that, if it's too flatline well then I'm just not experiencing life. We both struggle with overworking ourselves which brings on anxiety for us, and it's not something we take medication for. I don't have much advice other than having some gentle conversations with her about her demeanor when she's off vs. on her medications. One thing my wife and I can say for certain is that the couple who prays, meditates, and has conversations together is the one who stays together.

I wish you the best a healthy relationship has to offer.
"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty, and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming---*WOW-What a ride*!"
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wiscsober (09-26-2019)
Old 09-26-2019, 06:43 PM   #3 (permalink)

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There's only so much you're going to be able to do. Anxiety can be like alcoholism...don't be afraid to ask for help. She has to be willing to accept your help.

What she needs to hear is that many people go through numerous anti-anxiety or anti-depression medications before finding the right one for them. I tried 2 different ones that made me feel terrible before I got on Cymbalta, which has no side effects at all for me. I would encourage her to talk to her doctor or psychiatrist and try something else. Preface it with how you just want to see her happy and healthy, etc.

Anxiety is a brutal thing that can make us want to crawl into a hole and escape everyone. It's not easy to talk about, even more difficult to treat. Not knowing your lifestyle, do you exercise regularly, meditate, and have healthy eating habits? Obviously diet and exercise can greatly contribute to the alleviation of anxiety and if you're not healthy, I'd say for you to change your lifestyle. Then invite her to join you at the gym. Perhaps there's a way to nudge her in the right direction by making changes yourself?
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