Welcome to SR erik. My wife and I met in recovery too, and yep it's a rollercoaster but I feel that life should be that, if it's too flatline well then I'm just not experiencing life. We both struggle with overworking ourselves which brings on anxiety for us, and it's not something we take medication for. I don't have much advice other than having some gentle conversations with her about her demeanor when she's off vs. on her medications. One thing my wife and I can say for certain is that the couple who prays, meditates, and has conversations together is the one who stays together.
I wish you the best a healthy relationship has to offer.