Baby Birman
Queen of one liners
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: walking beside you! Not in front of you.
Posts: 658
((((Amy))))
I am so happy for you. You really sound like you have a plan for your future that is sound and do-a-able. I'll be interested in hearing all about it when you get the facts.
Sending more hugs, love and prayers,
Love,
Daffodil
I am so happy for you. You really sound like you have a plan for your future that is sound and do-a-able. I'll be interested in hearing all about it when you get the facts.
Sending more hugs, love and prayers,
Love,
Daffodil
Queen of one liners
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: walking beside you! Not in front of you.
Posts: 658
Giant Hugs Amy,
I know this sound trite but it is always darkest before the dawn. Or the worst before you get a job. Sometimes, I have to start on something that seems like it's far, far, away from where I have set my goal to be but If I am patient and willing to keep moving ahead one step at a time; I somehow get to where I am supposed to be going.
I am still sending you love and prayers because I care,
Daffodil
I know this sound trite but it is always darkest before the dawn. Or the worst before you get a job. Sometimes, I have to start on something that seems like it's far, far, away from where I have set my goal to be but If I am patient and willing to keep moving ahead one step at a time; I somehow get to where I am supposed to be going.
I am still sending you love and prayers because I care,
Daffodil
King of the Blues
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Sittin on Top of the World
Posts: 1,125
Can I jump in here for a moment?
Hi,
I am an alcoholic recently diagnosed with Bipolar II, but after reading some posts on PTSD I am wondering if my docs have me diagnosed all wrong?
I don't know anything about PTSD so here come questions, and then a little bit about my past.
Does PTSD take time to develop? In other words, something from your deep past surfaces now and you are effected?
Being an alcoholic, when both my Mom and Dad died I went to both funerals drunk and on valium, so I never grieved. Could that be a cause for PTSD?
There were two other deaths in my family that hit me hard, and those funerals I never went to. Again, I never grieved.
Lastly, There was the 911 attack. It really seems that since then I have never been the same. I lost 3 close friends in the attack, and I witnessed it from my sisters window a few miles away.
The reason why I want to know about PTSD is that I am currently on klonopin and Lithium and I feel I am getting worse. I felt OK yesterday and the day before, but last night there was no sleep, and today my palpitations and panic are wild.
(((Amy)))
Just to let you know I am also going through the job thing. With me I feel they can see I am not OK...For you, I hope good things come soon
Thanks for listening!
I am an alcoholic recently diagnosed with Bipolar II, but after reading some posts on PTSD I am wondering if my docs have me diagnosed all wrong?
I don't know anything about PTSD so here come questions, and then a little bit about my past.
Does PTSD take time to develop? In other words, something from your deep past surfaces now and you are effected?
Being an alcoholic, when both my Mom and Dad died I went to both funerals drunk and on valium, so I never grieved. Could that be a cause for PTSD?
There were two other deaths in my family that hit me hard, and those funerals I never went to. Again, I never grieved.
Lastly, There was the 911 attack. It really seems that since then I have never been the same. I lost 3 close friends in the attack, and I witnessed it from my sisters window a few miles away.
The reason why I want to know about PTSD is that I am currently on klonopin and Lithium and I feel I am getting worse. I felt OK yesterday and the day before, but last night there was no sleep, and today my palpitations and panic are wild.
(((Amy)))
Just to let you know I am also going through the job thing. With me I feel they can see I am not OK...For you, I hope good things come soon
Thanks for listening!
Guest
Posts: n/a
Bluesman,
PTSD can come on suddenly from forgotten childhood trauma and the 911 tragedy could have caused it too.
I don't think grief from normal deaths can cause PTSD, but it can aggravate it. When we are controlling our emotions a death or other event can be the straw that broke the camel's back and it all spills out.
I think I would stick with what your doctor is doing and give it time to work. Talk to him about the PTSD and ask him why he diagnosed you bi-polar. If you don't feel better in 6 weeks talk to him again about adjustments. Do you own research on the internet and find all the imformation you can come up with. Go into the doctor informed.
Start a new thread here if you want to talk more about this.
Hugs,
MG
PTSD can come on suddenly from forgotten childhood trauma and the 911 tragedy could have caused it too.
I don't think grief from normal deaths can cause PTSD, but it can aggravate it. When we are controlling our emotions a death or other event can be the straw that broke the camel's back and it all spills out.
I think I would stick with what your doctor is doing and give it time to work. Talk to him about the PTSD and ask him why he diagnosed you bi-polar. If you don't feel better in 6 weeks talk to him again about adjustments. Do you own research on the internet and find all the imformation you can come up with. Go into the doctor informed.
Start a new thread here if you want to talk more about this.
Hugs,
MG
Kelli's Angel
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: hell
Posts: 16
sum dude called me yesterday and told me he cant hire me coz of sum stuff i dont wanna go into (its not anything illegal) and sum other dude from mcdonalds called me to let me know they dont have any free places right now....i think its kinda..well not so nice to just call me and tell me i DONT get a job...like "hey im just letting ya know that i cant hire u coz we already have the ppl we need".... coz thats not the thing i want to hear! i want to hear that they can hire me coz they need ppl to work there...im not sure if u guys got what i meant coz im not so clear but anyway...im just really getting desperate coz of this...and i really dont know how much longer i can wait b4 i give up and end this all....the ppl who choose other ppl to work in their company or other stuff dont have a clue how much i need a job! id just have to work like 2 months and then i could quit and they could get another worker...but no...i guess the ppl who hire ppl have perfect lives and dont care about ppl who dont have perfect lives and need a job..thats what it seems like to me..or then the interviewers that have interviewed me dont want to hire me coz of my black eye and cheek..i knew the way they looked at me was weird...i bet they thought "gee she looks awful, i dont want her thats for sure"..thats also what it seems to me..
sorry about this...im just having a bad day...not that i wouldnt mean everything i said coz i do mean it...okay im just gonna go
sorry about this...im just having a bad day...not that i wouldnt mean everything i said coz i do mean it...okay im just gonna go
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
Amy,
It's a tough job market out there right now. There are a lot of people out of work and not a lot of jobs. Try not to take it personally when you don't get a job you've applied for. I know that's hard to do, but it really isn't personl when you aren't the one they pick for the job.
You keep looking, okay? It's in my prayers that you find a great new job soon. And remember that there are people here who care about you and are hoping that things turn around for you.
I'm sending lots of light your way.
Hugs,
Gabe
It's a tough job market out there right now. There are a lot of people out of work and not a lot of jobs. Try not to take it personally when you don't get a job you've applied for. I know that's hard to do, but it really isn't personl when you aren't the one they pick for the job.
You keep looking, okay? It's in my prayers that you find a great new job soon. And remember that there are people here who care about you and are hoping that things turn around for you.
I'm sending lots of light your way.
Hugs,
Gabe
Member
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Charleston S.C.
Posts: 1,461
Hi Baby Birman, I understand how hard it can be finding a job. When you couple this with not feeling so good it can be down right overwhelming. When this happens to me I start to see things differently. I was thinking that the fact that they called you back is a plus. If, they had no intrest and wanted to be rid of you, most wouldn't even call you. Then they would hope you didn't come back. I would like to suggest that you write them and thank them for considering you and to keep you in mind if something opens up. When they turn you down it isn't always the end. Sometimes when people take the time to write a thank you it helps. Here in the Boston area the market is tight.
However, there are jobs. Just keep working at it. Please don't give up. When I was having a problem finding one, I'd make a list of a few places each night for the next day. Use the list as a goal. You will feel better reaching your goal each day. Have you checked out any of the Temporary Agencys. Many companies these days hire temps as sort of a try out. If they like your work they'll hire you from the agency. I hope these help. Just hang in there, I'll be praying for a break for you. Don W You sound like a person good with animals. Are there any animal hospital etc. around you. I am glad you have your dog. I know mine helps me through some hard times. What kind? I didn't catch the dogs name.
However, there are jobs. Just keep working at it. Please don't give up. When I was having a problem finding one, I'd make a list of a few places each night for the next day. Use the list as a goal. You will feel better reaching your goal each day. Have you checked out any of the Temporary Agencys. Many companies these days hire temps as sort of a try out. If they like your work they'll hire you from the agency. I hope these help. Just hang in there, I'll be praying for a break for you. Don W You sound like a person good with animals. Are there any animal hospital etc. around you. I am glad you have your dog. I know mine helps me through some hard times. What kind? I didn't catch the dogs name.
Queen of one liners
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: walking beside you! Not in front of you.
Posts: 658
Amy, Holding on to my goals is easy when things are going my way. It's holding on to them when nothing seems to be working right that it's hard. One baby step at a time is the only way I can handle disappointment.
The brusies on the outside will go away dear. Then no one but us will know they are there. Here at SR, we all have hearts that hurt for one reason or another. That's how come we can support each other and understand a few others can.
Do take care and know I am sending love and prayers your way.
Daffodil
The brusies on the outside will go away dear. Then no one but us will know they are there. Here at SR, we all have hearts that hurt for one reason or another. That's how come we can support each other and understand a few others can.
Do take care and know I am sending love and prayers your way.
Daffodil
Kelli's Angel
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: hell
Posts: 16
i know i sound not thankful but i am thankful for all the kind things uve said to me but umm...im just really tired right now..im just tired. nothing cheers me up these days and the fact that i have to give my dog away makes me even more sad..i just had to realize that its the only way. i mean when i go to the states, i cant take my dog with me coz the whole he going there would be too complicated and difficult...there just isnt any other way..i have to give him away, wether i like it or not. and thinking about that day when i have to say goodbye to him makes me cry. it really makes me cry and feel so sad and awful!! it just hurts to think that i will never see him again! hes been with me for 7 yrs and itll be so hard to give him away. and i will miss him so much and i just think that ill never get over it. i can see myself crying in the nights and thinking about him and thinking if hes doing ok. this just really kills me. i just know there aint any other solution. ive been thinking about this a lot and now i know i have to give him away. and it makes me so sad.
im also very tired of all this whats going on in my life. sumtimes i really think about giving up coz itd be so much easier than trying to survive. specially coz im not a survivor. i dont even always know why im so sad and depressed. i just feel sad and depressed. and beside all this, i feel like everyones rejecting me. not only the ppl that have interviewed me, but also my friends and well everyone! and it really makes me cry and feel lonely. i cant even talk to my friends coz ive never talked to them about whats going on in me and i feel like theyd think im weird and im afraid that they wouldnt know what to say or do if i just started talking to them about this.
i dont know why im like this..i mean nothing seems to be enough! i cant explain it...i just feel sad all the time!!! and it really annoyis me and makes me think about all kinda bad stuff like killing myself..if i only got that job, id probably feel a bit betta coz at least then id be sure that ill get to go to my best friend. but everything else just suxx. nuthing makes me smile these days..i wish i could see sumone who knows about this..like u and stuff..but i know everything i wish for is impossible and its ok..stupid i know but i just feel that way..
this is so frustrating and i just want all this bad stuff to go away!
im also very tired of all this whats going on in my life. sumtimes i really think about giving up coz itd be so much easier than trying to survive. specially coz im not a survivor. i dont even always know why im so sad and depressed. i just feel sad and depressed. and beside all this, i feel like everyones rejecting me. not only the ppl that have interviewed me, but also my friends and well everyone! and it really makes me cry and feel lonely. i cant even talk to my friends coz ive never talked to them about whats going on in me and i feel like theyd think im weird and im afraid that they wouldnt know what to say or do if i just started talking to them about this.
i dont know why im like this..i mean nothing seems to be enough! i cant explain it...i just feel sad all the time!!! and it really annoyis me and makes me think about all kinda bad stuff like killing myself..if i only got that job, id probably feel a bit betta coz at least then id be sure that ill get to go to my best friend. but everything else just suxx. nuthing makes me smile these days..i wish i could see sumone who knows about this..like u and stuff..but i know everything i wish for is impossible and its ok..stupid i know but i just feel that way..
this is so frustrating and i just want all this bad stuff to go away!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
Amy darlin',
Everything you wish for is NOT impossible. It just seems that way right now. And none of your feelings are stupid. You want a better life for yourself, that is a very good thing. And that will happen, it's just taking more time than you thought.
Don't give up honey, you are a survivor, you just don't know it yet. I see a lot of strength and determination in your posts. Look how far you've come already. I just know you can move onto the next step.
I light a candle every night. There is usually some intention for that light. Tonight my candle is lit for you.
Keep the faith Amy, I'm keeping it for you too.
Hugs,
Gabe
Everything you wish for is NOT impossible. It just seems that way right now. And none of your feelings are stupid. You want a better life for yourself, that is a very good thing. And that will happen, it's just taking more time than you thought.
Don't give up honey, you are a survivor, you just don't know it yet. I see a lot of strength and determination in your posts. Look how far you've come already. I just know you can move onto the next step.
I light a candle every night. There is usually some intention for that light. Tonight my candle is lit for you.
Keep the faith Amy, I'm keeping it for you too.
Hugs,
Gabe
Guest
Posts: n/a
Amy,
I used to be sad and cry every day. I used to think my life was hopeless. I just kept getting through each day any way I could. The answers finally came for me and I'm not sad anymore and I don't feel that pain anymore.
There are reasons you feel sad. Good reasons. I had some of the same reasons when I was your age. This will pass. You just have to make it through each day and do one thing each day to help you reach your goals. You're really doing well and have made some hard decisions. We hope for what is ahead of us until we can learn to live in today and find our happiness from within ourselves. You'll be content one day with being your own best friend.
We're all here for you.
Hugs,
MG
I used to be sad and cry every day. I used to think my life was hopeless. I just kept getting through each day any way I could. The answers finally came for me and I'm not sad anymore and I don't feel that pain anymore.
There are reasons you feel sad. Good reasons. I had some of the same reasons when I was your age. This will pass. You just have to make it through each day and do one thing each day to help you reach your goals. You're really doing well and have made some hard decisions. We hope for what is ahead of us until we can learn to live in today and find our happiness from within ourselves. You'll be content one day with being your own best friend.
We're all here for you.
Hugs,
MG
Queen of one liners
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: walking beside you! Not in front of you.
Posts: 658
Amy, there are just times in our lives that do suck.
But you are not a failure. To keep coming here and reaching out for help takes courage. The day will come that you will find your answers.
I know how you feel about your dog, remember I have my Zoey and she is my constant companion during the day. She also brings me laughter when nothing else seems to work. So I do know how hard this is for you. But you are making hard decisions now and they are based on your ability to love. If you didn't love your dog it would be easy to give him away.
Sometimes, the only way I can get out of my sad and into living life again is look for someone who is even sadder than I am. Then I try to brighten their day just a little. Even smiling at the checker at the grocery store helps me, I try to remember how tired the clerk must be. We never know how powerful little acts of kindness can be but I believe they can help lighten another person 's load just a bit. I have to get out of myself.
You are on a journey dear, and I know you will make it because you have to ability to love.
Giant Hugs,
Daffodil
But you are not a failure. To keep coming here and reaching out for help takes courage. The day will come that you will find your answers.
I know how you feel about your dog, remember I have my Zoey and she is my constant companion during the day. She also brings me laughter when nothing else seems to work. So I do know how hard this is for you. But you are making hard decisions now and they are based on your ability to love. If you didn't love your dog it would be easy to give him away.
Sometimes, the only way I can get out of my sad and into living life again is look for someone who is even sadder than I am. Then I try to brighten their day just a little. Even smiling at the checker at the grocery store helps me, I try to remember how tired the clerk must be. We never know how powerful little acts of kindness can be but I believe they can help lighten another person 's load just a bit. I have to get out of myself.
You are on a journey dear, and I know you will make it because you have to ability to love.
Giant Hugs,
Daffodil
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: laughing at my avatar
Posts: 1,636
hello birman,
i am very sorry about your dog. dogs are like people, they have their own personalities and habits. i had a dog for 12 years. through all the using and insanity, he still loved me. poor little guy had to be put to sleep in august. i cried a lot, because he was like a friend to me. i decided to keep some of his toys around in a place where i could see them ... just to remember him and all the good memories and good times. that seems to help me with him not being around. i have a bunch of pictures too. i now look forward to the day when i move out and am able to have my own dog and my own place! my mom does not want anymore dogs, so until that day that i move out i will be saving up for a new poodle ...
and i hope you dont get too discouraged about not being able to find a job. it can be tough getting a job and work experience. where i live, its sorta like this ... every 20 applications gets one interview. and they never call to say im not hired! so, they must have thought you had potential because they called you back. i started out working at a toy store doing stocking and cleaning and it was not the "best" job i could have wished for. but, it got me experience. hang in there, i know it feels hopeless ... just DONT GIVE UP!
hugs,
dot
i am very sorry about your dog. dogs are like people, they have their own personalities and habits. i had a dog for 12 years. through all the using and insanity, he still loved me. poor little guy had to be put to sleep in august. i cried a lot, because he was like a friend to me. i decided to keep some of his toys around in a place where i could see them ... just to remember him and all the good memories and good times. that seems to help me with him not being around. i have a bunch of pictures too. i now look forward to the day when i move out and am able to have my own dog and my own place! my mom does not want anymore dogs, so until that day that i move out i will be saving up for a new poodle ...
and i hope you dont get too discouraged about not being able to find a job. it can be tough getting a job and work experience. where i live, its sorta like this ... every 20 applications gets one interview. and they never call to say im not hired! so, they must have thought you had potential because they called you back. i started out working at a toy store doing stocking and cleaning and it was not the "best" job i could have wished for. but, it got me experience. hang in there, i know it feels hopeless ... just DONT GIVE UP!
hugs,
dot
Kelli's Angel
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: hell
Posts: 16
thanks again for ur nice and kind words!
now im trying to change my last name. actually ive tried it twice now and today i sent out a 3rd application. and they betta let me change my last name!!! coz i dont wanna have the one i have now coz it reminds me of my so called family!!
well i just need to hope............
and still no job....
im desperate...
now im trying to change my last name. actually ive tried it twice now and today i sent out a 3rd application. and they betta let me change my last name!!! coz i dont wanna have the one i have now coz it reminds me of my so called family!!
well i just need to hope............
and still no job....
im desperate...
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