So, why is not drinking any better??????
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Ok, well I'll start.
Johnny Depp ~ I agree he is the hottest, sexiest man on earth. So we agree. We should be okay there.
Crakcers ~~ hmmm.. well I happen to like Jacob's and Carr's. I don't know your preference. But whatever it is, you must be right. Because that's how you are. Your way or the highway. Must be a British thing, because you are so like my husband that it is scary. You both have your own opinions and that is fine. Everybody is entitled to their's. But, if everyone else does not agree, than **** em'...... Cause' you all are right and no one else knows what the hell they are talking about. Right??????? And neither of you will listen to anybody else's opinions because everybody else is just stupid!!!!!
Does not matter what you say or who you hurt along the way.
All I've tried to do, is be open and honest here. And I have been. Sorry that I did not want to debate AA. Like I said, I don't have the knowledge or strength right now.
But I know how to be a friend.
All in love and peace and glory and rainbows.
Ang
Johnny Depp ~ I agree he is the hottest, sexiest man on earth. So we agree. We should be okay there.
Crakcers ~~ hmmm.. well I happen to like Jacob's and Carr's. I don't know your preference. But whatever it is, you must be right. Because that's how you are. Your way or the highway. Must be a British thing, because you are so like my husband that it is scary. You both have your own opinions and that is fine. Everybody is entitled to their's. But, if everyone else does not agree, than **** em'...... Cause' you all are right and no one else knows what the hell they are talking about. Right??????? And neither of you will listen to anybody else's opinions because everybody else is just stupid!!!!!
Does not matter what you say or who you hurt along the way.
All I've tried to do, is be open and honest here. And I have been. Sorry that I did not want to debate AA. Like I said, I don't have the knowledge or strength right now.
But I know how to be a friend.
All in love and peace and glory and rainbows.
Ang
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I think I just fit another piece into the puzzle.
I think not drinking is better because at least when you wake up in the mornings, you can remember the difference: did I dream it or did it happen? and you don't have to ask someone to clarify it.
I think not drinking is better because at least when you wake up in the mornings, you can remember the difference: did I dream it or did it happen? and you don't have to ask someone to clarify it.
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ov'a'it you know what i just went thru !!! ......i can honestly say, yep, stil on that PC, and H,J & Free.... you know how?..... freak'n work'n at it......... no watch'n oprah, and eat'n Bon-Bons! ... Sheesh!!!... {sorry Oprah}.......... all good wishes, and well of course, teach only love... Pattee
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Originally Posted by Rusty Zipper
ov'a'it you know what i just went thru !!! ......i can honestly say, yep, stil on that PC, and H,J & Free.... you know how?..... freak'n work'n at it......... no watch'n oprah, and eat'n Bon-Bons! ... Sheesh!!!... {sorry Oprah}.......... all good wishes, and well of course, teach only love... Pattee
You are right Pattee. I must work at it. I guess if I worked half as hard at sobriety than I did at being a very clever, sneaky drunk, I might just be happy, joyous and free by this point!
Hope you are doing well mate! I still think about you and wish you peace.
xoxoxoxoxo
Ang
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Not drinking is better because...today my life is not filled with fear. I was afraid of the day and afraid of what tomorrow would bring. I was insecure and self-conscience about everything. Mainly because, I was creating constant chaos due to my drinking. I felt as if I were constantly being judged. That has left me since I have quit drinking. Today, I don't care about what others think because I no longer have any skeletons in my closet. I have kicked those suckers out, and my life has now been placed on a level playing field. I am living a clean and sober life. That puts me ahead of the game.
Most of my insecurities have left me since I have quit drinking. I can handle not being perfect and can except the fact that I never will be. I know peace and the feeling of security, even though I'm not financially secure. I don't have to worry about it. I don't know why that is, it just is. I would waste so much time stressing over money issues. That was a key factor in my drinking. Today, I'm free from the stress that goes along with money issues. They are still their, I just don't worry about them.
I look and feel better. My health was shot and I never took care of myself. I let my appearance go to pot which I used to take pride in my appearance. It was embarrassing to look in the mirror. I felt much shame to see what I had become. I too was depressed and was finally put on medication for it, but continued to drink while on it. That wasn't helping. I no longer am depressed. I can say that I am honestly happy these days. I am so grateful to be given the solution. The solution being sobriety and happiness. The feeling of acceptance has entered in. I had a tough time with acceptance in the past.
I was so miserable, full of shame, guilt and felt useless and worthless. I couldn't do anything for myself without being drunk. I embarrassed myself and others. Today, I can be responsible for my actions. I can remember what I did and what I said, and I can thrive and better my life. When I was drinking, I watched my life go down the toilet, but continued to drink and point the finger at others, trying to push the blame on them, not myself. I also am not putting my life and others at risk each and every day.
I wouldn't except that my drinking was the sole reason for my rapid decline. I don't wake up in the morning feeling embarrassed from being drunk at work, or in public, and acting a fool. I would wake up in the morning and wonder how I would try to reason my way out of this one, and try to coeirce others into believing my lies and excuses. Today, I am free from all the guilt ridden emotions and I no longer have to lie.
At work, I am looked upon as a responsible employee. One who can pull their weight and considered as valuable, rather then a foolish drunk drinking my way into the unemployment line. This is a subject I feel I am quite knowledgeable in. Not only have I accomplished this feat once, but I have accomplished it twice, and three times. I'm done with that insanity. Today I can hold my head up high and be free from shame.
Life can be very difficult and my life is far from perfect. Today, I don't worry about tomorrow. I do what I can today, and what I can't do, I don't stress over it. I have the confidence that things will be taken care of and will work out. That condition is contingent on me staying sober, if I don't, the deal is off, it's broken.
I feel like I have risen from the ashes. I have been given hope and the satisfaction that I can change my life. I was as low as I could go emotionally, and I feel very victorious in getting sober, and slowly rebuilding my life and gaining back all I had lost. I have regained the respect of others who I care about. I feel at peace and I'm not filled with anger and resentments. I am responsible for my own rose, no one else's. I am accountable for my own actions and I do not blame others for my feelings of frustration or uneasiness.
When I start to tense up, I stop to review why, and do what I can to alleviate the problem. My life is so much less complicated and much more fulfilling. I live a very simple life with out any frills or perks and I love it. My life gets overwhelming at times, but hey, its my life and no matter how bad it gets today or tomorrow, it is much better then the days I was drinking myself into oblivion. That was hell on earth and I will do whatever it takes to not go back into the land of the living dead. I no longer have the cravings or desire to drink. I know I don't have to rely on a crutch to live, and I can get through whatever life offers, sober.
Enough of me, I could go on, and on, on why my life is so much better, but let's get to the bottom of why you feel the way you do Ang, if I may be so bold.
I am willing to say that there are many underlying reasons to what is causing your feelings of discord, unhappiness and sadness. You say you haven't worked all the steps, so there are layers that haven't been dealt with yet. This could be part of the problem. I am a firm believer in working the steps with a sponsor, because it worked for me. Call me the selfish alcoholic that I am, I don't care what anyone else thinks, it worked for me and I hope it will work for you. I want you to be happy.
I am glad that you make me and others smile and laugh. I enjoy that very much. A wish for me would be that you go to bed at night bringing joy not only to others, but mainly to yourself. It is time to take care of yourself and get to the bottom of what is going on. We all have issues that need to be dealt with. I hope you are willing to take an honest look as to what is really going on. I love you girl...I want you to be happy. It's fun to play down in the basement occasionally, but we must also face our fears head on so they will no longer be a reoccurring problem.
Thanks for starting this thread. It gave me much to think about and to be thankful for today.
Most of my insecurities have left me since I have quit drinking. I can handle not being perfect and can except the fact that I never will be. I know peace and the feeling of security, even though I'm not financially secure. I don't have to worry about it. I don't know why that is, it just is. I would waste so much time stressing over money issues. That was a key factor in my drinking. Today, I'm free from the stress that goes along with money issues. They are still their, I just don't worry about them.
I look and feel better. My health was shot and I never took care of myself. I let my appearance go to pot which I used to take pride in my appearance. It was embarrassing to look in the mirror. I felt much shame to see what I had become. I too was depressed and was finally put on medication for it, but continued to drink while on it. That wasn't helping. I no longer am depressed. I can say that I am honestly happy these days. I am so grateful to be given the solution. The solution being sobriety and happiness. The feeling of acceptance has entered in. I had a tough time with acceptance in the past.
I was so miserable, full of shame, guilt and felt useless and worthless. I couldn't do anything for myself without being drunk. I embarrassed myself and others. Today, I can be responsible for my actions. I can remember what I did and what I said, and I can thrive and better my life. When I was drinking, I watched my life go down the toilet, but continued to drink and point the finger at others, trying to push the blame on them, not myself. I also am not putting my life and others at risk each and every day.
I wouldn't except that my drinking was the sole reason for my rapid decline. I don't wake up in the morning feeling embarrassed from being drunk at work, or in public, and acting a fool. I would wake up in the morning and wonder how I would try to reason my way out of this one, and try to coeirce others into believing my lies and excuses. Today, I am free from all the guilt ridden emotions and I no longer have to lie.
At work, I am looked upon as a responsible employee. One who can pull their weight and considered as valuable, rather then a foolish drunk drinking my way into the unemployment line. This is a subject I feel I am quite knowledgeable in. Not only have I accomplished this feat once, but I have accomplished it twice, and three times. I'm done with that insanity. Today I can hold my head up high and be free from shame.
Life can be very difficult and my life is far from perfect. Today, I don't worry about tomorrow. I do what I can today, and what I can't do, I don't stress over it. I have the confidence that things will be taken care of and will work out. That condition is contingent on me staying sober, if I don't, the deal is off, it's broken.
I feel like I have risen from the ashes. I have been given hope and the satisfaction that I can change my life. I was as low as I could go emotionally, and I feel very victorious in getting sober, and slowly rebuilding my life and gaining back all I had lost. I have regained the respect of others who I care about. I feel at peace and I'm not filled with anger and resentments. I am responsible for my own rose, no one else's. I am accountable for my own actions and I do not blame others for my feelings of frustration or uneasiness.
When I start to tense up, I stop to review why, and do what I can to alleviate the problem. My life is so much less complicated and much more fulfilling. I live a very simple life with out any frills or perks and I love it. My life gets overwhelming at times, but hey, its my life and no matter how bad it gets today or tomorrow, it is much better then the days I was drinking myself into oblivion. That was hell on earth and I will do whatever it takes to not go back into the land of the living dead. I no longer have the cravings or desire to drink. I know I don't have to rely on a crutch to live, and I can get through whatever life offers, sober.
Enough of me, I could go on, and on, on why my life is so much better, but let's get to the bottom of why you feel the way you do Ang, if I may be so bold.
I am willing to say that there are many underlying reasons to what is causing your feelings of discord, unhappiness and sadness. You say you haven't worked all the steps, so there are layers that haven't been dealt with yet. This could be part of the problem. I am a firm believer in working the steps with a sponsor, because it worked for me. Call me the selfish alcoholic that I am, I don't care what anyone else thinks, it worked for me and I hope it will work for you. I want you to be happy.
I am glad that you make me and others smile and laugh. I enjoy that very much. A wish for me would be that you go to bed at night bringing joy not only to others, but mainly to yourself. It is time to take care of yourself and get to the bottom of what is going on. We all have issues that need to be dealt with. I hope you are willing to take an honest look as to what is really going on. I love you girl...I want you to be happy. It's fun to play down in the basement occasionally, but we must also face our fears head on so they will no longer be a reoccurring problem.
Thanks for starting this thread. It gave me much to think about and to be thankful for today.
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Leanne~~~~~~
As always, thank you. For your reply and your honesty. I loved it. And will read it again many times.
I love you girl. I do. Me and you go way back.
Thank you. That was the honest answers I was seeking.
You mean a lot to me.
Much love,
xoxoxoxoxo
Ang
As always, thank you. For your reply and your honesty. I loved it. And will read it again many times.
I love you girl. I do. Me and you go way back.
Thank you. That was the honest answers I was seeking.
You mean a lot to me.
Much love,
xoxoxoxoxo
Ang
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 54
I think alcoholics are unhappy due to their character defects. The alcohol magnifies those defects, and abstinence may shrink them, but they don't disappear.
I can't really speak with much authority, but it seems to me that the 12 step program is more about ridding ourselves of these defects (suppressing them is probably a better choice of words), cleansing ourselves through the process of self-examination, confession, and making amends, and then continually reminding ourselves that it's never-ending process by being active AA members and helping others.
I'm not sure doing the above brings happiness, but it does seem to give us the tools to deal with life much better, and that's a huge step towards finding your own personal happiness. I'm looking forward to it.
I can't really speak with much authority, but it seems to me that the 12 step program is more about ridding ourselves of these defects (suppressing them is probably a better choice of words), cleansing ourselves through the process of self-examination, confession, and making amends, and then continually reminding ourselves that it's never-ending process by being active AA members and helping others.
I'm not sure doing the above brings happiness, but it does seem to give us the tools to deal with life much better, and that's a huge step towards finding your own personal happiness. I'm looking forward to it.
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ah, theres that word.. " Happiness " just the other a sponsee was ask'n PC, just what is it for you?... wow, a real hard one to convey into words...for me its, well a kind of inner thing.. what i said to the Slipper, and yup, thats what i have called him, and will continue... judgement?... nope, a sober obsevation... for what the camera in my head see's... some day i tell ya's about the sneaker and the loafer... my shoe store of sponsees...and now mt new one, flip-flop, the summers come'n, lol! ... i love them all... sorry, back to happiness.. i said slipp'a, it started like this... thought i was going to be dead, and real soon before cleaning up... i ask'd for ONE, yes ONE day free from alcohol, and drugs... well after a real bummer of a self -detox.. i got that one day... i said, that was a feeling of happiness like no other i have ever encountered... it was a sence of freedom... and for that day... it was a spark...a spark that ignighted another addiction in me...sobriety... even tho my mind was raceing, my body hurt'n, my soul scatered all over the universe... i wanted more!... more happiness.. as the days marched on one sober dat at a time... life, people and my self took on new meaning... i started to look foward to each morn'n.... what was the chalanges of life and the day going to bring to me, almost a game i made of it... "Beat the Odds"... after every life thing, and mind thing i beat by not picking up, the spark turned into a fire, a fire of happiness... and all from a lifetime of abuse, go fig'a?... i said, slip'a... i'm happy just that i'm alive... happy that i can now accept me... the little things seam like big things, my music, colors, sounds , all of creation, and i'm a part of... i can find happiness, though others, the ones that encourage me... say i'm a example to ... most of all, the laughter of life, in all its zany, silly, f'k'd up way, when i'm in tune, i can have a ball... when in need of a tune up... ut-oh!!!, here come the Band of Gypsys... and as mentioned before, and i will keep on saying it... it takes freak'n work... not much of a price to reap the rewards... whats the work? ... what works for me... a sobriety combo! of just about everything you all post on this site... find what i belive, and take what i dont, and what i dont, i leave openended... in the back of my mind, heart and soul... openminded... for what i believe today, might be differant tommorow... no right,or wrongs... as long as i remain in right mind state... and i can and do get nerved up... the differance is what i do with it... cuz its mine, no others, just mine...my bubble of self... its Rule # 62 time...dont take my self too damm serious... so my happiness is being right here writing this to the one who reads this... Happy Sunday... all good wishes, and of course, teach only love... the #1 (_|_) Pattee
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i started to look foward to each morn'n....
Today I'm free from that and welcome the birds and the morning, most days.
Still learning; ever grateful
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: VA
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Originally Posted by 2dayzmuse
Reading these words sparked a memory in me. I used to hate the sound of the birds singing in the morning, hated it. It was a reminder that I had to face a new day and the trap I was caught in. It meant another day of agony and drinking, the never ending drinking and guilt that came with it. Those days were torture. Drink...repeat.
Today I'm free from that and welcome the birds and the morning, most days.
Today I'm free from that and welcome the birds and the morning, most days.
I think you just hit the nail on the head for me, 2dayz. Thank you.
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hey 2day! .. "Bingo".. today you win anything on the top shelf... and i don't mean behind the bar!!! ... here Bird'y Bird'y 
couldnt find a bird for ya... lol, at least it has wings... Viv'a L'a Bird's... 
2dya, "Keep"... love ya... all good wishes, and of course,... teach onlly love... pattee
couldnt find a bird for ya... lol, at least it has wings... Viv'a L'a Bird's... 2dya, "Keep"... love ya... all good wishes, and of course,... teach onlly love... pattee
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Wow,
Good thread for me!!!!
The last two days here have been beautiful. 22 degrees Celsius. Yesterday wasn't so bad, but today after work, I have been really craving a drink.. I am almost at 4 months sober. I am kinda happy lately, not as happy as I was earlier, maybe the cloud is going.
But reading all the posts in this thread, REALLY made me think about my life, and I agree it is a lot better being sober then drunk. Patience has always been hard for me, and I have to make sure that I stay patient and continue to work my steps.
Reading this thread has definetly helped me once again understand why I should not drink today.
Thanks for letting me share. and thanks for all the good responses
Mike
Good thread for me!!!!
The last two days here have been beautiful. 22 degrees Celsius. Yesterday wasn't so bad, but today after work, I have been really craving a drink.. I am almost at 4 months sober. I am kinda happy lately, not as happy as I was earlier, maybe the cloud is going.
But reading all the posts in this thread, REALLY made me think about my life, and I agree it is a lot better being sober then drunk. Patience has always been hard for me, and I have to make sure that I stay patient and continue to work my steps.
Reading this thread has definetly helped me once again understand why I should not drink today.
Thanks for letting me share. and thanks for all the good responses
Mike
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Newark,DE
Posts: 404
Hi Overit,
I can kinda relate to what you're saying, it wasn't like a switch was flipped in my life. Not much changed, really, at least not outwardly. But I guess it's kinda like an IRA account for me. The money banked is not needed today, but will be someday. I have a pretty happy life lately, wasn't always that way, but the last few years have been good. I like to drink, I like the high. But in the last few years I noticed the time span between buzzed and passed out is shrinking, sometimes to the space of 2-3 hours or less. I see the PROGRESSIVE nature of my disease, and it scares me. I know no good will come of where I am going. My happy life WITH alcohol is like running up credit card debt, all fun & games til the BILL comes in. I want that fear out of my life.
I'm Steve, and I'm struggling with recovery. Although I have had several slip-ups since January, when I found SR, and really developed a more complete understanding of Alcoholism, I think a lot of things are better when I dont drink. My wife is happier, I can do more with my teen boys, I can run better, faster and further. I have more hours in the day, and the CASH I save, d**m, sam, $10 here, $6 there, ah, better grab a pint and hide it, just in case this 6 pack needs a little help, over 2-3 days of drinking, it really adds up.
My hands dont shake, I sleep well at night, when I work on stuff, I can remember what I did. I have much more brain processing power available when I am not constantly planning my next drunk. Yes, my quality of life is much better without the stuff.
We all have our reasons for being here. I'm glad you're here, looking for help. I hope you pull out of this funk soon, and see that there are lots of good reasons around you to moderate or quit for. God has a purpose for us all.
Take Care,
Steve
I can kinda relate to what you're saying, it wasn't like a switch was flipped in my life. Not much changed, really, at least not outwardly. But I guess it's kinda like an IRA account for me. The money banked is not needed today, but will be someday. I have a pretty happy life lately, wasn't always that way, but the last few years have been good. I like to drink, I like the high. But in the last few years I noticed the time span between buzzed and passed out is shrinking, sometimes to the space of 2-3 hours or less. I see the PROGRESSIVE nature of my disease, and it scares me. I know no good will come of where I am going. My happy life WITH alcohol is like running up credit card debt, all fun & games til the BILL comes in. I want that fear out of my life.
I'm Steve, and I'm struggling with recovery. Although I have had several slip-ups since January, when I found SR, and really developed a more complete understanding of Alcoholism, I think a lot of things are better when I dont drink. My wife is happier, I can do more with my teen boys, I can run better, faster and further. I have more hours in the day, and the CASH I save, d**m, sam, $10 here, $6 there, ah, better grab a pint and hide it, just in case this 6 pack needs a little help, over 2-3 days of drinking, it really adds up.
My hands dont shake, I sleep well at night, when I work on stuff, I can remember what I did. I have much more brain processing power available when I am not constantly planning my next drunk. Yes, my quality of life is much better without the stuff.
We all have our reasons for being here. I'm glad you're here, looking for help. I hope you pull out of this funk soon, and see that there are lots of good reasons around you to moderate or quit for. God has a purpose for us all.
Take Care,
Steve
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Littletown, OK
Posts: 81
Ang,
Here's why "not drinking is better", for me. Aside from all the stuff everyone else says, I learned a hard lesson the other day.
My daughter called me, she's developed a habit of calling me when she's commuting. Her bf was driving and I heard her "instructing" him where to park, not park...ordering, etc. While she was doing this, I was listening and thinking "damn, she sounds like my mother!" (aside from making a call when your with someone...poor etiquette, methinks) When she returned her attention to me, I repeated what I'd just heard and the tone, then I asked her what that sounded like to her. She said, "sounds like you. I got that from my mommy!"
OUCH!
Well, I was concerned about the "mommy" usage, that generally shows up when she's upset. I asked a few more questions to find out that she's only spoken with her father 10 times in the past year and they live in the same city.
She may be 22, but I still have "Mommy Work" to do. If she's going to emulate me, it's my responsibility to make sure I give her a much better example.
That's why not drinking is better today.
Here's why "not drinking is better", for me. Aside from all the stuff everyone else says, I learned a hard lesson the other day.
My daughter called me, she's developed a habit of calling me when she's commuting. Her bf was driving and I heard her "instructing" him where to park, not park...ordering, etc. While she was doing this, I was listening and thinking "damn, she sounds like my mother!" (aside from making a call when your with someone...poor etiquette, methinks) When she returned her attention to me, I repeated what I'd just heard and the tone, then I asked her what that sounded like to her. She said, "sounds like you. I got that from my mommy!"
OUCH!
Well, I was concerned about the "mommy" usage, that generally shows up when she's upset. I asked a few more questions to find out that she's only spoken with her father 10 times in the past year and they live in the same city.
She may be 22, but I still have "Mommy Work" to do. If she's going to emulate me, it's my responsibility to make sure I give her a much better example.
That's why not drinking is better today.
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