I am going to be honest
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Livonia, MI
Posts: 675
Well,......Kahlia basically said it all. You post,...then read responses,.....then come back and reitirate with a passion, that if it wasnt for your husband, you wouldnt drink. If it werent for him, your life would be very different. Drinking isnt like eating read meat. You stated earlier that your new job is very professional. Well,...what do you think they'd think or say to you or about you if they found out you are drinking a couple beers before work? Its hard to read a post that states someone drinks in the morning before work, hides all the other times they drink, holds resentments towards others for the way they feel about their drinking, says if it werent for somebody else, they wouldnt drink, and then goes on to say that they dont think their drinking is a problem. How can you NOT see that it most definitely is? Normal drinkers dont drink before work. Normal drinkers dont have to leave a party or bar an hour after they get their for fear that they will 'get into trouble'. Whether that "trouble" is getting pulled over for drinking and driving, or if that "trouble" is facing someone at home who will be disappointed in them. I,...myself, DO NOT have a masters in Psychology, but, I dont think anyone needs one to see that your drinking is a huge problem. For you, AND for your family. I'd get help. The red flags are all over the place. I have found in my experience, that when others in our lives are getting bothered or worried or concerned about our drinking enough to mention it, then its gotten way out of control.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Livonia, MI
Posts: 675
By the way,.....I dont think deep down you disagree with any of this. I think we are all saying things you yourself have already thought. I believe you KNOW you have a problem and are just at that phase of the disease where we all "opinion-shop" until we get the one we are looking for
Having said all that, I also find it very interesting that you titled your thread
"I am going to be honest".
Almost like titling it that would automatically discard anyones doubt.
I hope Im not offending you, but, it sounds alot like when someone tells their 5 yr old they cant have a cookie, and the 5 yr old sneaks one out of the jar simply BECAUSE he was told not to,....or grounding your teenager and he sneaks out his bedroom window even though he really didnt have anywhere to go simply BECAUSE he had been grounded. I mean, you're a grown, adult woman. Do you really think that you do ANYTHING because someone does or doesnt want you to? You need to get honest with YOU. Until you take responsibility for your life, it will always be in turmoil. Look how your husband is so concerned with your drinking. This is the man you chose to spend the rest of your life with. The man you chose to share a home with, a bank account with, and maybe children with. He has a legitimate concern and you arent even considering it. All this has to do with alcohol and look how hard you are fighting to keep it in your life. Is booze really worth as much as you are putting into it??? I think all this should tell you, that your drinking is very very far from social.
Having said all that, I also find it very interesting that you titled your thread
"I am going to be honest".
Almost like titling it that would automatically discard anyones doubt.
I hope Im not offending you, but, it sounds alot like when someone tells their 5 yr old they cant have a cookie, and the 5 yr old sneaks one out of the jar simply BECAUSE he was told not to,....or grounding your teenager and he sneaks out his bedroom window even though he really didnt have anywhere to go simply BECAUSE he had been grounded. I mean, you're a grown, adult woman. Do you really think that you do ANYTHING because someone does or doesnt want you to? You need to get honest with YOU. Until you take responsibility for your life, it will always be in turmoil. Look how your husband is so concerned with your drinking. This is the man you chose to spend the rest of your life with. The man you chose to share a home with, a bank account with, and maybe children with. He has a legitimate concern and you arent even considering it. All this has to do with alcohol and look how hard you are fighting to keep it in your life. Is booze really worth as much as you are putting into it??? I think all this should tell you, that your drinking is very very far from social.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: London, UK
Posts: 115
Hi jenni
what you said in your post is exactly what my gf used to say and do. She's has now admitted she is an alcoholic and is in recovery.
I don't mean to sound harsh or to criticise you, and I tell you what I used to say to my gf whom I love: it seems to me you're in DENIAL.
Love Jo
what you said in your post is exactly what my gf used to say and do. She's has now admitted she is an alcoholic and is in recovery.
I don't mean to sound harsh or to criticise you, and I tell you what I used to say to my gf whom I love: it seems to me you're in DENIAL.
Love Jo
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: King George, VA
Posts: 8
A marriage is based on trust and respect. Only you can decide what is more important to you. Your marriage or drink? If your husband was into porn and this disturbed you, isn't your husband showing you disrespect if he continues? Why do you disrespect your husband? You need to find out WHY you feel you need to drink when your husband objects. What is triggering you to behave so? The rage that you probably feel when questioned about your drinking is a trigger. Most triggers are caused by fear. What do you fear? Abandonment? Being judged? Rejection? Take what you need and leave the rest. Hugs to you and I pray that you fine peace and serenity. Cat
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