El Gato

Since you are at the library.. maybe you can find some psychology books that would interest you. Helped me in the beginning.

ASH

Hi Rose,
How are your feeling today?
Sorry you did not make it to the meeting last night, but heh, you did something different than you do every other night!!!! Look at going to the library as a success, it was a change in routine, you were working on your recovery instead of just going to your apartment. This shows you how much you want to change, and you will, just never give up.

Maybe you can try some other small changes that can more you toward your desire for recovery...

Look up the AA number in your area and call the hotline, just to talk.

Find a low cost Internet cafe and come to a SR AA meeting, I think there is one here tonight at 8 PM eastern, (not sure)?

Find an AA meeting at a time that will improve your probability of success? It is way easer for me to get going on Sat or Sun AM or afternoon.

Find a noon meeting close to where your work and just go look in the door and listen for a bit?

I admire you for trying to change, it is not an easy thing to do!!
I have been resisting myself and find I have to keep after myself all the time or I will just drown. Sometimes if I take a different approach I get a small win. Every sober day is a win.
Take care