graphic clio

Hello im Richard

Im 24 from the UK and currently an unemployed graduate with a graphic design degree. I have a real problem with binge drinking once i start i cant stop, I smoke when i drink to. Last nite i went to town with freinds and arranged to meet my girlfriend through the nite, sure enough as the nite progressed i was getting into my usual state. By the time i had met my girlfriend i was a mess and started to threaten her for looking at other guys. I am so ashamed of this and finding hard to even type as i am such a gentle person. My girlfreind has decided not to leave me but to help me with my problem. I dont crave drink at all its just once i start, thats it. I have been drinking like this since teenage years and have already lost girls because of it and argued with family members over it. So i really help becase i want to keep hold of my girl. I dont want to be t toltal just to be able to stop at 2 or 3 drinks an be confident enough to enjoy the night, any ideas welcome or some direction please. Thank you. x

CarolD

Welcome!

Here is a link that is about moderation...

http://moderation.org/
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Take care....

Cap3

Hi and welcome!!!!!!!!!!!

Music

Hi graph,
Glad you're here. Below is a quote from the Big Book of AA.

"But what about the real alcoholic? He may start off as a moderate drinker; he may or may not become a continuous hard drinker; but at some stage of his drinking career he begins to lose all control of his liquor consumption, once he starts to drink."

This was the bottom line for me. I lost control after the first drink from day one when I was 18. I got sober when I was 34. I had all the excuses, and all the smart remarks for anyone who mentioned the way I drank. At first my drinking was sporadic and then as time went on, my drinking became more and more frequent. So, draw your own conclusions. Keep drinking and lose your girlfriend.....for starts, and then work on your job, relationships with others you come in contact with, and take a chance on not reaching 25. It's your choice. As you stated, you already have a profound change in personality once you start to drink so why continue?

jlo34

There is no moderation drinking for me. I am a real alcoholic. Began drinking at 15 and have been sober now since 17. I, too, am a very nice and kind person, sober. Add alcohol and I become an obsessive, compulsive hemorrhoid that will flair in a moment's notice. Unpredictable. Jealous. Enviousness. Immortal. Deeply depressed. Extreme anger. Rage in seconds. Resentment for life. Hatred.

Once I add alcohol to my body, I set off the phenomena of craving with obsession of the mind. I would do ANYTHING to get more, to get drunk. I felt, I HAD to.

I tried controlled drinking once. I remember chugging the first drink, popping off the top for the second...then suddenly, it was about 6 hours later and a whole bunch more booze in my system.

My advice...check out some AA meetings, see if you can relate to anybody at the meetings. Go to more than one. Go for a few months. Listen.

Jen

leviathon

Good luck with your desire to control it to two or three... I have the binge issue as well... once I take that first drink, look out, I want more regardless of consequences. Sometimes I was able to 'moderate' it, but that only worked while I was very busy and pre-occupied. Once I had free time again, I soon became a full blown alcoholic on a daily basis with binge drinking on weekends. Kinda funny drink a fifth everyday, and drink a 26 on weekends, but that was how my attempt at 'moderation' left me in the end.

I had also quit before, and I would go years without alcohol, I was fine until I had that first drink then that urge is there all over again. It never left, it was just patiently biding time within me waiting for my next moment of weakness. How about yours?

T.

equus

Hi and welcome to SR!!

This is a research based site in the UK, it has a course to help with getting drinking under control. They are very clear it shouldn't be used by those with an alcohol dependency so read it carefully.

http://www.downyourdrink.org.uk/main.php

They are well connected and with a bit of hunting round you can contact the researchers - you'll find the names appear on many conference lists and acedemic papers.

Maybe it'll help!!

P.S. - If your GF wants to help be aware it'll be rough on her, try to take all the responsibility and don't blame her, she's not an alcohol counsellor - she's allowed to screw up completely!! Also did you know most alcohol advice places in England will offer support with moderation? Just Google the UK drinkline and give them a ring for someone near you. It's better for you to get qualified help than rely on someone who cares for you but will be very emotionally involved and not trained or supported.

earlybird

Hmmmm,...Im curious,....you stated that when you begin drinking,...you cannot stop. But then you go on to say that you dont have the URGE to drink,...that its just that when you start to you just cant seem to stop it. Seems to me,...that if you DONT have the urge,...but you are armed with the knowledge that you wont be able to stop if you start.....then it should be pretty easy for you to solve that problem. No urge,...no start. No start,.....no continued drink with no stop. Unless you arent being completely honest with us or yourself, which is what I suspect. If you dont really have an "urge" to drink,...then you wouldnt be having this problem. One time would be enough to say "Nope,...done with the drinking,....I cant stop when I start, so since I dont have an urge to start,....I wont"