I need help
Been there and done.
Join Date: May 2005
Location: West Coast North America
Posts: 269
Edye, very similar to my story. Very sneaky too. You might be surprised at how supportive your spouse is when you tell him of your challenges. Admitting the issue is a sign of strength not weakness, at least that is how my wife and others take it.
Is it possible for you NOT to go home and be alone? Can you visit someone? I am worried that the temptation would be too great for you to be alone now. It would be for me. Think about it.
Is it possible for you NOT to go home and be alone? Can you visit someone? I am worried that the temptation would be too great for you to be alone now. It would be for me. Think about it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Dallas Texas
Posts: 12
Yes, being home alone scares me too. But I guess I am going to try to rely upon the encouragement that I've received on this site to get me through it. You all have been fantastic.
Since I started visiting this site two days ago I've started to reframe my thinking. Reading everyone stories has helped me begin to re-evaluate how I want to move forward in my life. I know what I want - I want to be clean. And I'm begining to see how I am most likely viewed by others in my life... meaning, I'm probabaly not fooling anyone. This is a tremendous awakening to me... and horrifying to think about. I don't want to be known as a "drunk". I can't possibly drink as much as I do without people noticing. I've just now realized this. This is a HUGE awakening to me.
Plus - and most importantly - I really want to do this for ME. My mind need this change. My body needs this change.
With all of your help I am darn sure going to try. Thank you so much for supporting me. And if I get into a sticky situation this weekend, I'll be sure to come to SR for help! Thanks!!!!
Since I started visiting this site two days ago I've started to reframe my thinking. Reading everyone stories has helped me begin to re-evaluate how I want to move forward in my life. I know what I want - I want to be clean. And I'm begining to see how I am most likely viewed by others in my life... meaning, I'm probabaly not fooling anyone. This is a tremendous awakening to me... and horrifying to think about. I don't want to be known as a "drunk". I can't possibly drink as much as I do without people noticing. I've just now realized this. This is a HUGE awakening to me.
Plus - and most importantly - I really want to do this for ME. My mind need this change. My body needs this change.
With all of your help I am darn sure going to try. Thank you so much for supporting me. And if I get into a sticky situation this weekend, I'll be sure to come to SR for help! Thanks!!!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Northeast, USA
Posts: 39
When I finally realized I was fooling no one and the joke was on me, it hit me like a ton bricks. I thought I had mastered the method to the madness. WRONG BIG TIME But the awakening is a good thing.
GoodLuck to you, hope you can get support here and maybe put together a plan. A lot of nice folks here, this site has helped me in just 3 days.
GoodLuck to you, hope you can get support here and maybe put together a plan. A lot of nice folks here, this site has helped me in just 3 days.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: living in recovery
Posts: 75
Since your husband will be away when you get back home why not use that time to go to as many AA meetings as you can? It will get you off to a good start.
I too thought I was a secret drinker. It turned out that I was the only one who thought so.
I wish you all the best in your recovery.
I too thought I was a secret drinker. It turned out that I was the only one who thought so.
I wish you all the best in your recovery.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: New Focus
Posts: 687
Originally Posted by Edye
I am darn sure going to try. Thank you so much for supporting me. And if I get into a sticky situation this weekend, I'll be sure to come to SR for help! Thanks!!!!
I will be rooting for you and looking out for your posts this weekend,
When the going gets tough keep coming to SR!!!
body ~ mind ~ spirit
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Geelong, Australia
Posts: 582
Originally Posted by Edye
And I'm begining to see how I am most likely viewed by others in my life... meaning, I'm probabaly not fooling anyone. This is a tremendous awakening to me... and horrifying to think about. I don't want to be known as a "drunk". I can't possibly drink as much as I do without people noticing. I've just now realized this. This is a HUGE awakening to me.
Plus - and most importantly - I really want to do this for ME. My mind need this change. My body needs this change.
Plus - and most importantly - I really want to do this for ME. My mind need this change. My body needs this change.
good luck, keep posting, life just gets better, nice hey - SR rocks!
love brigid
Silly cow
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Not here
Posts: 18
just wanted to tell you that I admire your honesty.
I'm only been a member here for a couple hours and everything in me says "wow...these people are sooooooooooo kewl!"
****{hugs}}} and keep on updating!
Bree
I'm only been a member here for a couple hours and everything in me says "wow...these people are sooooooooooo kewl!"
****{hugs}}} and keep on updating!
Bree
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Dallas Texas
Posts: 12
Thanks!
It feels great to be sober. I returned from my business trip with success. And I DIDN'T drink before I got on the airplane! That was a first. Nevermind that fact that it was a 7 am flight... but that didn't stop me before! I travel once a week and ALWAYS drank before my flights. But this time (because of all the wonderful support and advice from SR!) the thought didn't even enter my mind. Pleasantly mind-baffling!
I've been sober all weekend. And feel fantastic.
I took some SR advice and focused on a home project. Which kept me very busy, but in a great mood.
I thought about having a drink today, but had a mini discussion with myself - thinking about concequences, how I would feel about myself, etc. So I pushed that evil thought out of my head and decided to go running instead. And I feel great.
I also went to the bookstore and bought some of the books that SR members had suggested (Jane - love the "Drinking a Love Story". I'm already 1/3 done!).
I just wanted to give you all an update since you have been so kind and supportive!
Thank you!
It feels great to be sober. I returned from my business trip with success. And I DIDN'T drink before I got on the airplane! That was a first. Nevermind that fact that it was a 7 am flight... but that didn't stop me before! I travel once a week and ALWAYS drank before my flights. But this time (because of all the wonderful support and advice from SR!) the thought didn't even enter my mind. Pleasantly mind-baffling!
I've been sober all weekend. And feel fantastic.
I took some SR advice and focused on a home project. Which kept me very busy, but in a great mood.
I thought about having a drink today, but had a mini discussion with myself - thinking about concequences, how I would feel about myself, etc. So I pushed that evil thought out of my head and decided to go running instead. And I feel great.
I also went to the bookstore and bought some of the books that SR members had suggested (Jane - love the "Drinking a Love Story". I'm already 1/3 done!).
I just wanted to give you all an update since you have been so kind and supportive!
Thank you!
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,525
good!
Edye,
It sounds like you are doing really well--I'm so glad for you! You must feel great about yourself, and with good reason.
Isn't that book something? I remember just about falling out of my chair when reading the author's descriptions of what went through her mind all the time. So familiar, and it really did clarify that I have the same problem. No talking myself out of that.
Have a super day--you're doing great!
Jane
It sounds like you are doing really well--I'm so glad for you! You must feel great about yourself, and with good reason.
Isn't that book something? I remember just about falling out of my chair when reading the author's descriptions of what went through her mind all the time. So familiar, and it really did clarify that I have the same problem. No talking myself out of that.
Have a super day--you're doing great!
Jane
body ~ mind ~ spirit
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Geelong, Australia
Posts: 582
Originally Posted by Edye
I thought about having a drink today, but had a mini discussion with myself - thinking about concequences, how I would feel about myself, etc. So I pushed that evil thought out of my head and decided to go running instead. And I feel great.
you are doing great.
love brigid
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: California
Posts: 972
((( Edye ))) I thought I was "hiding" my other bottles from my husband... It turned out he knew about all of them. He was worried sick but couldn't approach me because in previous attempts I had "smoke screened" him with my angry or/and regretful attempts promising to try and quit or cut back.
One thing that you have to realize is how much you stink of booze.. I never thought I did. I certainly did tons of mouth washes and mints but if you are drinking as much as you say you are then honey, you definitely MUST smell of booze. It just comes out of your pores.. I'm sure lots of other drunks in recovery will tell you the same thing. It's as bad or worse than smelling cigarette smokers!
You will be shocked when you do manage to quit for a few months that you will be able to smell booze body/breath from a yard away or even more.
So, if you think no one knows, you're sadly mistaking. I truly hope you can get the help you need to finally accept you have a problem and commit yourself to changing your life to one that's filled with self respect instead of shame.
One thing that you have to realize is how much you stink of booze.. I never thought I did. I certainly did tons of mouth washes and mints but if you are drinking as much as you say you are then honey, you definitely MUST smell of booze. It just comes out of your pores.. I'm sure lots of other drunks in recovery will tell you the same thing. It's as bad or worse than smelling cigarette smokers!
You will be shocked when you do manage to quit for a few months that you will be able to smell booze body/breath from a yard away or even more.
So, if you think no one knows, you're sadly mistaking. I truly hope you can get the help you need to finally accept you have a problem and commit yourself to changing your life to one that's filled with self respect instead of shame.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Dallas Texas
Posts: 12
Hi guys - all is good here so far. Thanks for your support.
It's hard, but well worth the difficulities! I've cleaned every inch of my house to keep myself busy. Now I'm on another business trip. So far so good. I'll keep you guys updated... and call for support if I get into a sticky situation! (fingers crossed!)
Jane - that book you suggested is so true to my life. Thank you! It is really helping me get through some difficult times. I'm nearly done with it!
Michski - so true. Since I've been sober I can smell someone who drank... in an instant. I was on the airplane yesterday and someone walked by and I could smell the alcohol on him. Ugh. Stinky. I'm sure I used to stink much more than that. Not pretty. It was very enlighening.
I'm so happy to be sober. I almost caved-in on Monday, but had another stern conversation with myself and decided to focus my energy on cleaning a closet. I must have the cleanest house in the universe. Ha.
Take care! And thanks again! I'll keep posting!
It's hard, but well worth the difficulities! I've cleaned every inch of my house to keep myself busy. Now I'm on another business trip. So far so good. I'll keep you guys updated... and call for support if I get into a sticky situation! (fingers crossed!)
Jane - that book you suggested is so true to my life. Thank you! It is really helping me get through some difficult times. I'm nearly done with it!
Michski - so true. Since I've been sober I can smell someone who drank... in an instant. I was on the airplane yesterday and someone walked by and I could smell the alcohol on him. Ugh. Stinky. I'm sure I used to stink much more than that. Not pretty. It was very enlighening.
I'm so happy to be sober. I almost caved-in on Monday, but had another stern conversation with myself and decided to focus my energy on cleaning a closet. I must have the cleanest house in the universe. Ha.
Take care! And thanks again! I'll keep posting!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: ...
Posts: 87
Edye,
Success is there for the taking in this endeavor. Remember, NOBODY can make you pick up that first drink. If you don't ever pick up the first drink, you can't get loaded. It's really that simple - if you choose to make it so.
Regarding your husband - I suspect that he knows and cares more than you think. Remember, all of our "drink sneaking" was happening while we were inebriated. Like you, I was also a "2nd bottle hider". (Or was it the 3rd bottle?!?) Sure, I thought I was being soooo clever, but guess what? My wife knew all about it. Everyone else probably knew about it as well. The only person I was fooling with my drunken antics was myself.
She also correctly surmised that I wasn't ready to talk about my problem. When I was finally ready, she was there with 100% support and caring. I couldn't have come this far this quickly without her support. I'm sure your situation will be very similar.
Regarding diversions and distractions - you can either a) Come to Holland and clean my house. or b) Get into an exercise and fitness program. I've found that exercise has been amazing for my recovery. I've lost 20# in 2 months, and have had few, if any, withdrawls. I sleep well at night, and have additional motivation to not ever pick up that first drink. If you're interested in any advice on exercise or fitness, there are several people on this board, myself included, who'd be more than happy to help you.
Peace and sobriety,
Yank
Success is there for the taking in this endeavor. Remember, NOBODY can make you pick up that first drink. If you don't ever pick up the first drink, you can't get loaded. It's really that simple - if you choose to make it so.
Regarding your husband - I suspect that he knows and cares more than you think. Remember, all of our "drink sneaking" was happening while we were inebriated. Like you, I was also a "2nd bottle hider". (Or was it the 3rd bottle?!?) Sure, I thought I was being soooo clever, but guess what? My wife knew all about it. Everyone else probably knew about it as well. The only person I was fooling with my drunken antics was myself.
She also correctly surmised that I wasn't ready to talk about my problem. When I was finally ready, she was there with 100% support and caring. I couldn't have come this far this quickly without her support. I'm sure your situation will be very similar.
Regarding diversions and distractions - you can either a) Come to Holland and clean my house. or b) Get into an exercise and fitness program. I've found that exercise has been amazing for my recovery. I've lost 20# in 2 months, and have had few, if any, withdrawls. I sleep well at night, and have additional motivation to not ever pick up that first drink. If you're interested in any advice on exercise or fitness, there are several people on this board, myself included, who'd be more than happy to help you.
Peace and sobriety,
Yank
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